Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 19:11     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Anonymous wrote:What stopped you?


Nothing has stopped me, I just have never wanted to have one. Unlike most DCUM husbands I’m very happy with all aspects of my married life and I have no desire to blow it up.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 19:08     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
I could have with a female colleague at work. Then I learned that she had already slept with a number of other managers at the office.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:52     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish just one man would actually say the reason he doesn't cheat is because he can't imagine hurting someone he loves and cares about so viciously.

I thought my cheater really loved and cared about me but had to accept that he did not. We were having lots of sex at the time so that wasn't a factor.


Most of the responses are basically what you are saying. Men want to cheat but are afraid of getting caught because it would hurt their wives and themselves.


DP. It’s so interesting to me that for many, the problem isn’t the act, but getting caught. I believe you can hurt somebody even if they don’t know what you are doing, so “I don’t cheat because I’m afraid of getting caught” is very different from “I don’t cheat because I can’t imagine hurting my spouse so deeply.” But I guess that if you believe that it’s only bad if you get caught, you can interpret them as being the same.


They think they will never get caught and rationalize therefore their spouse won’t get hurt.

It’s ludicrous of course. But that’s what they all say after getting caught “it wasn’t about you. I never meant to hurt you.”
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:35     Subject: Re:Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Hurting someone you love doesn’t make a lot of sense to me and my kids would hate me. I’ve never wanted to have an affair and whatever needs I have are well taken care of. Hopefully my wife feels the same way!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:28     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish just one man would actually say the reason he doesn't cheat is because he can't imagine hurting someone he loves and cares about so viciously.

I thought my cheater really loved and cared about me but had to accept that he did not. We were having lots of sex at the time so that wasn't a factor.


Most of the responses are basically what you are saying. Men want to cheat but are afraid of getting caught because it would hurt their wives and themselves.


DP. It’s so interesting to me that for many, the problem isn’t the act, but getting caught. I believe you can hurt somebody even if they don’t know what you are doing, so “I don’t cheat because I’m afraid of getting caught” is very different from “I don’t cheat because I can’t imagine hurting my spouse so deeply.” But I guess that if you believe that it’s only bad if you get caught, you can interpret them as being the same.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:20     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Anonymous wrote:I wish just one man would actually say the reason he doesn't cheat is because he can't imagine hurting someone he loves and cares about so viciously.

I thought my cheater really loved and cared about me but had to accept that he did not. We were having lots of sex at the time so that wasn't a factor.


Most of the responses are basically what you are saying. Men want to cheat but are afraid of getting caught because it would hurt their wives and themselves.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:17     Subject: Re:Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Anonymous wrote:Man here. Fear of getting caught.

woman here.. my DH knows that if he did cheat, I would somehow find out. He's careless, and I'm very perceptive, plus I control the finances.

If he did cheat, he knows that I would divorce him, and take half the assets. He wants to retire early really badly (and he is on track to do that). But, if he had to split his assets, he knows he can kiss his early retirement goodbye.

He knows I can be ruthless.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:14     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
I wish just one man would actually say the reason he doesn't cheat is because he can't imagine hurting someone he loves and cares about so viciously.

I thought my cheater really loved and cared about me but had to accept that he did not. We were having lots of sex at the time so that wasn't a factor.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:03     Subject: Re:Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
I’ve traveled a great deal on business and there have been plenty of temptations but I’ve never gotten close to having an affair. I have a very good marriage and to put that at risk would be stupid.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 18:02     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Although it’s never been exercised by me (or my wife to my knowledge) we have a DADT arrangement we call it our Parisian marriage when we are teasing each other.

Without ever looking for it or trying I was head over heels for someone else and but she snapped us back to reality and I’m really glad she did. With a little bit of distance I could see how it would just be heartbreaking for both of us.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 17:52     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Every time I think about an affair I’ll masturbate and the urge goes away. Having sex a couple times a month sucks but I can’t leave her for just that
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 17:46     Subject: Re:Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
My wife is wonderful so why screw up a good thing? I’ve never had a need for an affair.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 17:46     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
I like being miserable. I couldn’t imagine being in a shitty marriage and affair.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 17:38     Subject: Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
Lack of interest and energy for having an affair. One woman in my life is enough.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2021 17:36     Subject: Re:Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't
I’ve never wanted to have an affair but I’ve fantasized about it as I’m sure many if not all people do. But I’ve been married a long time, I love my wife and our sex life is great. I’ve done my best to be a good role model for my children and an affair would trash 34 years of effort.