I have a friend like this. But we are friends who go out to meals, get pedicures, go for drinks, etc. She will send a picture of her child with mutual friends of our kids doing something together that my child wasn’t invited to, along with “show this to Jane and tell her Suzy, Ellie, Taylor, and Anna say hi!” I have never once showed these photos to my kid because she would clearly wonder why she wasn’t invited. On the other hand, our kids play at both our houses about equally, so the situation is a little different. I still have always thought it was bizarre behavior.

"I would rather feel like a doormat in silence then to assert myself and my feelings lest someone have a mildly negative thought about me for a minute" is so dcurbanmom

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a thought....
Cut her a bit of slack? I feel so socially awkward these days with covid. I actually feel it so acutely that I tell people I first meet that I don't know protocol anymore so forgive my awkwardness. Normally people laugh and they do understand. Maybe she feels this too but doesn't have the awareness to name it? For now l, just ignore it and treat everyone the same. We all have our quirks (you included).

Dp.. there's a wide berth between feeling socially awkward these days and sending pictures of events the other person wasn't invited to.

Op- next time she does this I would respond "that looks fun! Sad dd wasn't invited " and see what she says

That sounds crazy and manipulative. Please don’t do this OP. No one likes a whiner or someone fishing for invites. Just leave it. Your DD doesn’t know or care she wasn’t invited so why make an issue out of nothing?

Really, who cares. The photo sending mom is the one being passive aggressive and tone deaf. Clearly she's fishing for something. Telling her how the photos make you feel seems rational. Not sure why anyone would care what the photo sender is secretly thinking in response to the truth since she very clearly has no intention of having a close relationship with OPS family.

I do not think this is your situation, but when I have said yes to my kid going to another kid’s house but not reciprocated, it’s because I know my kid is well behaved, the other kid is not, I don’t want to deal with the other kid’s misbehavior, but I am trying to be kind by still allowing my kid to play with the other kid.

How often do you and the mom have coffee? Who initiates?
If you, I would back off on doing so. If her, I would accept maybe once a quarter. I would not respond to her texting you photos of other kids. That you did may have kept it going.

The kids are old enough to manage their own relationship, I would just step back from engagement with the mom without comment or drama.

I think stepping back a bit yourself is wise. I would not engage with the mom about it, I don't think that will go well or be a positive. The mom has shown you a lot about herself in the texts and over the years in not inviting your child to their home, be grateful that you have no misperceptions and move on.

Don't respond to the photos because they bother you. Assume she is not trying to make you jealous but since it does, stop responding pleasantly. She sounds like the type who likes taking/sharing photos, no big deal. Stop inviting/including so much, go to 6x/year tops.