Anonymous
06/10/2021 11:19
Subject: Confused about all the gender bending
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD 13 and her friends are also discussing gender and sexual orientation, all coming out etc.
As we were discussing the topic, I told her that everything is ok with me but that I thought that as young teens that are going through puberty, changing and discovering themselves it seems to me that they were spending an inordinate amount of time trying to label something in flux.
Maybe they should not worry so much about labels and see how they feel and what they like as the years go by. That their tastes will become clear to them as they meet people they are attracted to or not. No need to decide at age 12. After all, I do not know how I feel about bondage as I never tried.
Also I suggested that maybe this is spending a lot of time overthinking about themselves, their identity etc... and maybe spending a bit more time thinking about others and how to help others and be a good citizen would be more productive.
+1
+100
Omg so this! This navel gazing narcissism is driving me crazy.
+1000000000000000000000000000
This age group is known for navel gazing narcissism anyway, but the age of social media is just enhancing it by lionizing it, focusing it, and normalizing it. Instead of it being a phase, it becomes a way of being that carries on into adulthood. It makes me want to yak.
We need to stop the focus on all the labeling. We need to keep prompting them to look outward.
But the liberal left is making it impossible to live without a label. Everyone gets a label ... you're black, you're white supremacist, you're racist you're gay, you're queer, you're cis etc... etc...
Anonymous
06/09/2021 17:05
Subject: Re:Confused about all the gender bending
I would be fine if any of my kids end up being gay, bisexual, transgender.
However, I think there's something significant going on with girls right now. A growing number of them really do not want to become women. I actually think some of this stems from the increased media attention on what women actually go through.
When I was a tween starting puberty, I was not bombarded with news and media focusing on the rape and abuse of women like we are today. There is so much -- warranted!! -- attention on stories like Deshaun Watson, Brett Kavanaugh, the abuse of the American gymnasts, the countless cases of campus rape, etc etc. I think it is a good things these stories are not swept under the rug anymore, to be clear. But it's no wonder that there is a growing number of girls who have no interest in growing up to be a woman and subjected to things that women have ALWAYS been subjected to, but now gets increased attention.
However, I think there's something significant going on with girls right now. A growing number of them really do not want to become women. I actually think some of this stems from the increased media attention on what women actually go through.
When I was a tween starting puberty, I was not bombarded with news and media focusing on the rape and abuse of women like we are today. There is so much -- warranted!! -- attention on stories like Deshaun Watson, Brett Kavanaugh, the abuse of the American gymnasts, the countless cases of campus rape, etc etc. I think it is a good things these stories are not swept under the rug anymore, to be clear. But it's no wonder that there is a growing number of girls who have no interest in growing up to be a woman and subjected to things that women have ALWAYS been subjected to, but now gets increased attention.
Anonymous
06/09/2021 16:43
Subject: Re:Confused about all the gender bending
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a 12 year old DD and I could have written your post, OP. I’m confused, too, but trying to be non-judgmental. I don’t care who identifies as what, but for this age group it all feels very internet-driven.
+1 - dealing with this with both of my girls - 14 and 10. I have posted here about it previously.
I'm supportive, but firm about the idea that they are too young to make any permanent decisions. I refused to buy a chest binder for my 14 year old. She has largely returned to being a girl, but is still a bit uncomfortable with her developing body. 10 year old has friends calling her by a gender neutral name. She has not asked me to use this name. I don't think I would agree to it at this point simply based on my point above - too young to make any permanent decisions.
I have also tried to talk to them about the fact that they are being heavily influenced by the internet/culture and while we should all be accepting we should also be aware of outside influences on how we think about things. This is trickier because it can sound unsupportive but I feel like it's important for them to question the source and content of what they are seeing/reading.
From an adult perspective I feel like the entire gender dysphoria discussion in teens/tweens is hugely overrepresentative of how many actual transgender people exist in society. The sexuality discussions are a little different, but I think it's this generation's edginess.
Here's a question: Why does your 10 year old (or even your 14 year old) have access to this part of the internet? It's clearly messing with their minds.
Anonymous
06/09/2021 16:42
Subject: Re:Confused about all the gender bending
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a 12 year old DD and I could have written your post, OP. I’m confused, too, but trying to be non-judgmental. I don’t care who identifies as what, but for this age group it all feels very internet-driven.
+1 - dealing with this with both of my girls - 14 and 10. I have posted here about it previously.
I'm supportive, but firm about the idea that they are too young to make any permanent decisions. I refused to buy a chest binder for my 14 year old. She has largely returned to being a girl, but is still a bit uncomfortable with her developing body. 10 year old has friends calling her by a gender neutral name. She has not asked me to use this name. I don't think I would agree to it at this point simply based on my point above - too young to make any permanent decisions.
I have also tried to talk to them about the fact that they are being heavily influenced by the internet/culture and while we should all be accepting we should also be aware of outside influences on how we think about things. This is trickier because it can sound unsupportive but I feel like it's important for them to question the source and content of what they are seeing/reading.
From an adult perspective I feel like the entire gender dysphoria discussion in teens/tweens is hugely overrepresentative of how many actual transgender people exist in society. The sexuality discussions are a little different, but I think it's this generation's edginess.
I think most of it is young people not being comfortable going through puberty. A few people are actually trans, but most aren't. I
t's best to go along with somethings and let them experiment and explore, but not do anything permanent or anything that costs extra money (like the chest binder.) Just wear larger clothes if you don't want breasts to show, for example.
Anonymous
06/08/2021 12:32
Subject: Re:Confused about all the gender bending
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Here is the thing... All this is not new. AT ALL. it's always existed, just it existed in the shadows. In invisible universes that weren't part of mainstream society but still very much a thing and alive. Think of the NYC balls and what not in the. 80s and 90s. It was there it was just forced to be hidden
No. Not this, nothing like this.
You're not right. Rewriting the past isn't helpful.
What do you mean? Trans people have always existed. Non-binary people have too but honestly were usually sort of forced to "pick a side". I mean it's not just the past. There are people who were trans in the 80s and still alive. I. Very confused by your firm, 100% positive assertion that this didn't exist before. It did. Because people alive today can tell you their stories. It's just it was not acceptable to say it out loud or live it out in the open except in very narrow sets of circumstances prior to this moment. I'd argue it's largely still not on the whole for queer youth.
Yes, some trans people and some non-binary people have always existed. Not many. You are saying that it's always been a very significant number of people, the way it is very significant among large numbers of children. That's rewriting the past.