Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:28     Subject: Re:DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, I think this pretty much captures it. Some posters are clearly resentful of their own spouses' "bad parenting" so uncritically pile on with OP. No one has rationally explained what he did that was so awful. Kid hadn't fallen asleep yet, but would have if mom had just let him be and focused on enjoyed her time with her friends. Kid was not unhappy or in danger. Dad could have moved him to his bed later. Such a nothing burger, it's shocking there is this long a thread on it. But that says more abut the number of frustrated and angry wives on this thread than the actual incident imo.

YES!



Pretty much this.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:27     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.



Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.


And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.



Actually in this case it was. He literally did nothing wrong. Child was settled and would have fallen asleep, and probably enjoyed the extra treat of being in mommy and daddy's bed. Was not disrupting OP's time with her friends. What's the offense? Be specific.



Good luck getting an answer that makes any sense.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:27     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.



She had this. Kid was fine and she could have left it alone and focused on her own thing. She disrupted her own evening, but probably because she was resentful toward him for other things other than just not putting the kid to bed the exact way she wanted.


Your opinion.



I know you are but what am I.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:26     Subject: Re:DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Yeah, I think this pretty much captures it. Some posters are clearly resentful of their own spouses' "bad parenting" so uncritically pile on with OP. No one has rationally explained what he did that was so awful. Kid hadn't fallen asleep yet, but would have if mom had just let him be and focused on enjoyed her time with her friends. Kid was not unhappy or in danger. Dad could have moved him to his bed later. Such a nothing burger, it's shocking there is this long a thread on it. But that says more abut the number of frustrated and angry wives on this thread than the actual incident imo.

YES!
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:25     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.



Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.


And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.



Actually in this case it was. He literally did nothing wrong. Child was settled and would have fallen asleep, and probably enjoyed the extra treat of being in mommy and daddy's bed. Was not disrupting OP's time with her friends. What's the offense? Be specific.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:23     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.



Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.


And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:23     Subject: Re:DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can’t just kill his plans. There is nothing wrong with a kid staying up late watching a movie once in a pandemic. Did he put the kid to bed when he was done with the call? That would have been my sticking point.



We'll never know, since OP screamed at him in the middle of his call. In all likelihood kid would have drifted off to sleep then DH would have carried to his bed later. Kid was calm and happy. Hardly a big deal.



This. How anyone can think the husband deserved being screamed at publicly is just a little insane.

I don’t think anyone said he deserved it, or that it was the correct way to handle it. Clearly OP was very frustrated. People are simply trying to put his fair share of responsibility on the dhs shoulders.
That mute button is a handy quick thing in zoom. He wasn’t publicly flogged.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:22     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.



She had this. Kid was fine and she could have left it alone and focused on her own thing. She disrupted her own evening, but probably because she was resentful toward him for other things other than just not putting the kid to bed the exact way she wanted.


Your opinion.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:22     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.



Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:21     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.


This. Kind of stunning that OP ruined both her husband’s call AND didn’t even get on her own call over this non-issue. Talk about an overreaction.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:20     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I see some of you missed that the kid wasn’t even in their room.


They were shelved, like a book until mom came to bed to manage.


I would have hopped in bed and snuggled with my kid.

Dad could move the kid or sleep elsewhere.

This literally happened in my house last week. NBD.


If it was NBD, dad could have done the same and joined his call after child was out. It’s not like it’s a one off, it’s a weekly event.



Dad did not need to sacrifice what was probably his only pleasurable activity during the week to hang out with a child who wasn't ready to fall asleep. Kid was happy, would have fallen asleep there just fine. Then could have been handled as PP said. Only drama queens, or ones with consistently terrible spouses, would make this into a dramatic event.


Dad agreed to help mom out. It’s a lack of follow through. Not really about bedtime.


Kid was quietly enjoying a relaxing activity prior to falling asleep. Once asleep, DH could have put him back in his bed. And?




+1
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:17     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.



Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:16     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.



She had this. Kid was fine and she could have left it alone and focused on her own thing. She disrupted her own evening, but probably because she was resentful toward him for other things other than just not putting the kid to bed the exact way she wanted.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:15     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2021 14:14     Subject: DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began
Why does it take the effort of 2 adults for kids to go to bed?