Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:54     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:I’m 37 and single. I’ve been trying I find a certain type of woman and just haven’t. You can say I’m looking for a 1950’s housewife. I don’t expect a servant or anything like that, but I wanted a woman who wants to stay at home taking care of her kids and husband. I’m looking for a woman who wants to take care of raising the kids and responsibilities of the household, while I work and manage things like finances. Most of the women I meet want to be a SAHM only short-term, or want to be a SAHM but expect the man to be a 50/50 partner in childcare and household responsibilities. I’m looking for a woman who can handle the bulk of it. How do I find a woman like this?


Move to Utah?
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:52     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I doll not be answering anymore questions because it doesn’t seem like I will get any real advice on here. Many posters are asking the same questions.


OP here. I will take some of the real suggestions and look into nannies, teachers, nurses, etc.

I really do want a real relationship with mutual love and respect. I will be an involved parent I won’t there to handle the bulk of parenting. I want a self-sufficient woman who wants to be a SAHM or at least take time off her career to raise kids.

I have lots of money and will be able to afford the lifestyle I want. I want to make sure my family money is protected and no one owns half of my companies if we end up divorced.



You want to take your ball home, when people aren't playing the way you want. I I I. Me.. Me, Me. It's all about you and your wants in all your posts. I am a woman who fits the description of what you want, and I'm in one of the categories of careers that people just assume a woman wants to give up, but I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole because you are selfish. Your issue is not the SAHM thing or the prenup. You also come across as very cold and lacking the ability empathize. Selfishness and coldness are not qualities most women want in a husband or father of their children.

Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:39     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


Of course she kept the gifts. They were gifts—you don’t get to ask for them back. What a moron you are, patting yourself on the back over something bog standard.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:39     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
You want a woman who will:

1. Give up their career to be a SAHM
2. Sign a prenup, leaving her screwed
3. A “real” relationship with mutual love and respect

You’re not gonna get all three. Pick the two that are most important to you.

So you can have someone who also views this as a business transaction and will SAH and sign, but she’s not going to be the loving wife.

Or someone who loves you and signs a prenup, but she’s going to keep her career and expect you to cut back at work so you can split childcare 50/50.

Or someone who loves you and will SAH, but recognizes that signing a prenup puts her in a vulnerable position and she won’t do it.

Figure out which one you can live with.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:29     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


Do you miss her? Do you feel like she was the one who got away? Do you wish you had sweetened the deal to keep her?

Or are you perfectly fine with the fact that she walked away?


OP here. No. She found a new guy not even a week later.

Hold up.
Family money? That usually has tons of strings attached and matriarch / patriarch power plays. Yuck.


Oh shut up.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:29     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I doll not be answering anymore questions because it doesn’t seem like I will get any real advice on here. Many posters are asking the same questions.


OP here. I will take some of the real suggestions and look into nannies, teachers, nurses, etc.

I really do want a real relationship with mutual love and respect. I will be an involved parent I won’t there to handle the bulk of parenting. I want a self-sufficient woman who wants to be a SAHM or at least take time off her career to raise kids.

I have lots of money and will be able to afford the lifestyle I want. I want to make sure my family money is protected and no one owns half of my companies if we end up divorced.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:27     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I doll not be answering anymore questions because it doesn’t seem like I will get any real advice on here. Many posters are asking the same questions.


You've gotten real advice. Just because you don't feel flattered by it doesn't mean it's fake.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 22:26     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
OP here. I doll not be answering anymore questions because it doesn’t seem like I will get any real advice on here. Many posters are asking the same questions.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:56     Subject: Re:How To Find A SAHM?
that's a great point about work/life balance. working 70/80 hours a week is not sustainable with little kids, even if you have a full time wife.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:48     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Make a ton of money. A fair amount of women would be willing to do the bulk of of the child/household work, so long as you make plenty to provide a good lifestyle and house help when she needs/wants it, since you aren’t willing to pitch in. She will also want to make sure, in the event of divorce, that her “half” will be still be a lot and keep her comfortable , since she pretty much gave up a career and even if she goes back to work, so won’t make nearly what she could have or once did.


OP here. I was in a relationship that just ended here I thought I found the one. We were very in love and happy but she refused to sign a prenup. I own multiple businesses and have a decent net worth. A prenup is non-negotiable. Most women do not want to sign one.


So you want a wife that will give up everything to support you but you have no skin in the game? That's why you're single.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:45     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Yes but... If the company increases in value by $X, will you give her half of that? Or just judge what is "enough" for her to live on?

Again.. I'm a guy so I'm naturally biased to take your side but it isn't easy


He’ll have to buy her out or she’ll keep ownership until she monetizes it. Heck, she might even get a board seat.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:41     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:I call troll. O.P. I think you are just a bored fatty in your basement. Why are you On this site if you claim not to have a wife of kids?


I had to laugh at the $40k car thing too, my street is averaging $80-120,000 vehicles, leased or owned.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:39     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


Do you miss her? Do you feel like she was the one who got away? Do you wish you had sweetened the deal to keep her?

Or are you perfectly fine with the fact that she walked away?


OP here. No. She found a new guy not even a week later.

Hold up.
Family money? That usually has tons of strings attached and matriarch / patriarch power plays. Yuck.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:36     Subject: Re:How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:I think you sound like a great catch and are offering up an lifestyle that many woman would love to be part of.
37 years old is still young.
DC is such a lousy place for dating, but I am certain you can and will meet someone.


Here’s my take after reading 10 pages.

Can the SAHM demand.

You’re using it as a proxy for the only way to raise young kids properly, and that’s untrue.

Find someone with similar values, they work or not, they have graduate degrees or not. Talking about how to raise kids, fathers roles, mothers role, hired help, preschools, sports, ECs you’d like to share, coach, teach. Bring up how how you work and what else you bring to the table.

She will need to be Ok with running everything (plus her job/career).

I ended up in this position as my spouse is a work and phone addict. He’d terrible with the kids. He has no idea what’s going in with anyone’s schedule or life. I still work to keep my sanity. I suspect if you found someone v social with lots of friends and family around here she wouldn’t suffer as much as someone who does not.
I’d gladly trade the $1-2M a year for him having a normal hour job, be more involved, and be more “with it” at home. I still make $400k, in a family friendly job.. We met in bschool.

And managing the help, isn’t all peaches and cream. It’s like another employee and you need to pay double for someone truly good, with a brain.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 21:36     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Since it seems you put your parents' realtionship on a pedestal, and expect to replicate your childhood , maybe ask mom and dad how they found each other, or to set you up with the sing;e daughter of one of their friends.