Several reasonable people have cautioned women against criticizing and judging each other.

And yet, some of you just keep rolling with the petty, nasty comments. Such comments saymore about YOU than the lived realities of SAHM or WOHMs.

Anonymous wrote:I think WOHMs get triggered because this is not how they can describe themselves.

World: What do you do?
WOHM: I work in an office.
Nanny: I look after the children who are left behind during the day when their moms go to work.
Surrogate: I give birth to other people's children
SAHM: I am a full-time mom
WOHM: NOT FAIR! I AM THAT TOO!! How come the SAHM say that! Waaaaaah!

A little early for the booze, dear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think WOHMs get triggered because this is not how they can describe themselves.

World: What do you do?
WOHM: I work in an office.
Nanny: I look after the children who are left behind during the day when their moms go to work.
Surrogate: I give birth to other people's children
SAHM: I am a full-time mom
WOHM: NOT FAIR! I AM THAT TOO!! How come the SAHM say that! Waaaaaah!

Your inflammatory post is disgusting. You should honestly be ashamed of yourself.

DP here. I have a nanny. She takes care of the kids left at home while I go to work, DH goes to work, and older kids go to school. It's not inflammatory or disgusting.

I am pretty sure that most people who use the term full time mom mean it as a dig, only because I am pretty sure that it originated with Dr. Laura who uses it all of the time and intends it as a dig. It's fine though. As far as digs go, it's not a particularly painful one. My experience has been similar to a pp earlier on this thread. Once people actually get to know you and your family, they kind of change their tune to something like "all working mom's aren't putting the time in with their kids EXCEPT YOU." And then as kids get older most people assume that all women who occasionally show up at the school in jeans are SAHMs until you specifically tell them otherwise. So, while the judgement still remains, it is often so incorrect that it hardly matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

I have read the responses. Show me where the working moms are silently resenting stay at home moms.

That's precisely what the OP has written. This is the topic of this thread. Who gave you a job?

What on earth are you prattling on about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a working mom with a demanding job. While I don’t personally resent anyone, I do wish I could lean out a bit.

And I doubt anyone really prefers to work. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live like a kardashian and travel the world?

I would never exchange my life to be a Kardashian. To be fair, I don't know much about them, but everything I do know makes me know I'd never want to be anything like them. Honestly, I feel dumber having even just thought about them for two minutes. Some people actually like their jobs for many reasons. I didn't work for a while and I found that I really needed the mental stimulation. Everyone is different and that's perfectly fine, but I can't believe you think anyone really prefers to work.

^^ you DON'T think

Anonymous wrote:I’m a working mom with a demanding job. While I don’t personally resent anyone, I do wish I could lean out a bit.

And I doubt anyone really prefers to work. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live like a kardashian and travel the world?

I would never exchange my life to be a Kardashian. To be fair, I don't know much about them, but everything I do know makes me know I'd never want to be anything like them. Honestly, I feel dumber having even just thought about them for two minutes. Some people actually like their jobs for many reasons. I didn't work for a while and I found that I really needed the mental stimulation. Everyone is different and that's perfectly fine, but I can't believe you think anyone really prefers to work.

Anonymous wrote:I think WOHMs get triggered because this is not how they can describe themselves.

World: What do you do?
WOHM: I work in an office.
Nanny: I look after the children who are left behind during the day when their moms go to work.
Surrogate: I give birth to other people's children
SAHM: I am a full-time mom
WOHM: NOT FAIR! I AM THAT TOO!! How come the SAHM say that! Waaaaaah!

Your inflammatory post is disgusting. You should honestly be ashamed of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

It's bad on both sides. Stop pretending otherwise. Don't feed into it.

Agree it's bad on both sides - on DCUM. I've never, ever run into these mommy wars in real life and think at least with the women I've interacted with, people's life choices are respected in either direction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

I have read the responses. Show me where the working moms are silently resenting stay at home moms.

That's precisely what the OP has written. This is the topic of this thread. Who gave you a job?

No, OP asked if a particular term was meant as a dig.

You are not in the position to question anyone else's intelligence or reading comprehension. You are just mean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

I have read the responses. Show me where the working moms are silently resenting stay at home moms.

That's precisely what the OP has written. This is the topic of this thread. Who gave you a job?

I’m a working mom with a demanding job. While I don’t personally resent anyone, I do wish I could lean out a bit.

And I doubt anyone really prefers to work. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live like a kardashian and travel the world?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

It's bad on both sides. Stop pretending otherwise. Don't feed into it.

I think WOHMs get triggered because this is not how they can describe themselves.

World: What do you do?
WOHM: I work in an office.
Nanny: I look after the children who are left behind during the day when their moms go to work.
Surrogate: I give birth to other people's children
SAHM: I am a full-time mom
WOHM: NOT FAIR! I AM THAT TOO!! How come the SAHM say that! Waaaaaah!

So much of this thread and others like it is BS.

Reality: kids need caregivers who love them, listen to them, enforce consistent boundaries, and provide them with the necessities of life: shelter, food, drink, a safe place to sleep. There are many paths to the same end.

You all have your own parenting philosophies, but for every hard and fast rule beyond the above you throw out there, there will be a PP who did it the other way who turned out just fine.

Trying to assert that all WOHMs/WAHMs or all SAHMs are these homogeneous groups that have all the answers or are superior in some way is BS. There are great parents in each situation, so-so parents in each situation, and lousy parents in each situation. There are upsides and downsides in each situation. No one will own to the downsides of their situation on these threads, because some jerkweed from the "other side" will seize on it and use it against them to make themselves feel better.

Maybe stop thinking about this as having "sides" at all. Maybe approach others with a generous heart. Judge other people for their character and don't assume you know everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can say “I take care of my kids full time” as that is a counterpart for “I work full time”. Children need full-time care. That is a fact. That care can be provided by a parent, nanny, daycare, elementary school, karate class, etc.

Btw, “parenting” is not something that needs to happen 24/7.

How about working moms just stop getting so triggered about other women’s choices?

I’m not going to twist myself into pretzels trying to find a way to describe being home with my kids that doesn’t offend you. I’m also not going the self deprecating route and saying “I’m unemployed” just to placate you. Get over yourself.

Most working moms don't want to be working as much as they do. They want to spend more time with their children, and silently resent the fact that there are other moms out there who do.

If this makes you feel better, keep thinking it. I don't know of any working moms who silently resent stay at home moms.

Well, read some of the responses in this thread!

So. MUch. Resentment.

That said, it’s great that you don’t feel that way. But the dozen pages of bitter comments on this thread suggest that many people disagree with you.

I have read the responses. Show me where the working moms are silently resenting stay at home moms.