Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have three options :


1. Divorce. He showed his colors

2. Stay and teach that him you won’t tolerate this behavior. Not sure how you’d do that.

3. Stay and put up with more cheating


Without kids i would choose #1. I am married to someone similar and regret not leaving.

With kids I would choose number 1 (and did). Why does being married mean I have to accept emotional abuse? Why would anyone think growing up in a house where the primary adult relationship is based on tolerance of serious lies is a healthy family environment?



It was better for me and my kids to get away from the crazy.

Because it could be a phase for him. There is more to marriage than fidelity. Your kids are going to be shuttled between houses for years. You’ll lose assets. You won’t have someone to grow old with. There are many reasons women and men stay with a cheater.

I agree, when I was younger I would have said divorce and be done. With kids it's really complicated. Most 2nd marriages I've seen the women aren't happy with their spouse. The ex, steps and in-laws seem to mess up the 2nd marriages. If it's a 70% divorce in 2nd marriages it's another high percentage of those that stay unhappily together. Something to look at when you consider divorcing your spouse.

Just don’t remarry.

OP, any updates?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have three options :


1. Divorce. He showed his colors

2. Stay and teach that him you won’t tolerate this behavior. Not sure how you’d do that.

3. Stay and put up with more cheating


Without kids i would choose #1. I am married to someone similar and regret not leaving.

With kids I would choose number 1 (and did). Why does being married mean I have to accept emotional abuse? Why would anyone think growing up in a house where the primary adult relationship is based on tolerance of serious lies is a healthy family environment?



It was better for me and my kids to get away from the crazy.

Because it could be a phase for him. There is more to marriage than fidelity. Your kids are going to be shuttled between houses for years. You’ll lose assets. You won’t have someone to grow old with. There are many reasons women and men stay with a cheater.

I agree, when I was younger I would have said divorce and be done. With kids it's really complicated. Most 2nd marriages I've seen the women aren't happy with their spouse. The ex, steps and in-laws seem to mess up the 2nd marriages. If it's a 70% divorce in 2nd marriages it's another high percentage of those that stay unhappily together. Something to look at when you consider divorcing your spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him take nude pictures of you...

Says another pervert.

How is that perverted behavior? I'll bet you are a lot of fun to be with.

Anonymous wrote:He's gaslighting you. If he just had a random pic on his phone, he might be embarrassed or annoyed you were accusing him, but he would not obfuscate and attack and gaslight..

Sorry op.

This is my thought too. My marriage is by no means perfect. And I haven’t suspected infidelity. But when I’ve asked questions about something that seems off about my husband’s behavior, he either reassures me kindly, or he first laughs and then reassures me. The only time he flat out denied something and got defensive was when I asked him if he had driven home after drinking a bit too much. He knows I have zero tolerance for that. He acted like your husband is acting. Guilty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I go by Margaret.

Then I guess you “Margaret” your DH with that strap-on.

No, I'm just a poster who likes puns, not into pegging. Also not the poster you were initially responding to.

I'm just here for the foo- uh, jokes.

I like you.

He's gaslighting you. If he just had a random pic on his phone, he might be embarrassed or annoyed you were accusing him, but he would not obfuscate and attack and gaslight..

Sorry op.

I think the behavior after confronting him is very telling.

Why did he need to spend the night out?

Having a nude pic is not that big of a deal. He seems obviously lying. Don’t let him turn this around on you.

Maybe she’ll meet someone better. I know many 2nd marriage couples that have very happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have three options :


1. Divorce. He showed his colors

2. Stay and teach that him you won’t tolerate this behavior. Not sure how you’d do that.

3. Stay and put up with more cheating


Without kids i would choose #1. I am married to someone similar and regret not leaving.

With kids I would choose number 1 (and did). Why does being married mean I have to accept emotional abuse? Why would anyone think growing up in a house where the primary adult relationship is based on tolerance of serious lies is a healthy family environment?

It was better for me and my kids to get away from the crazy.

Because it could be a phase for him. There is more to marriage than fidelity. Your kids are going to be shuttled between houses for years. You’ll lose assets. You won’t have someone to grow old with. There are many reasons women and men stay with a cheater.

Anonymous wrote:Let him take nude pictures of you...

Says another pervert.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I go by Margaret.

Then I guess you “Margaret” your DH with that strap-on.

No, I'm just a poster who likes puns, not into pegging. Also not the poster you were initially responding to.

I'm just here for the foo- uh, jokes.

Anonymous wrote:You have three options :


1. Divorce. He showed his colors

2. Stay and teach that him you won’t tolerate this behavior. Not sure how you’d do that.

3. Stay and put up with more cheating


Without kids i would choose #1. I am married to someone similar and regret not leaving.

With kids I would choose number 1 (and did). Why does being married mean I have to accept emotional abuse? Why would anyone think growing up in a house where the primary adult relationship is based on tolerance of serious lies is a healthy family environment?

It was better for me and my kids to get away from the crazy.

You have three options :


1. Divorce. He showed his colors

2. Stay and teach that him you won’t tolerate this behavior. Not sure how you’d do that.

3. Stay and put up with more cheating


Without kids i would choose #1. I am married to someone similar and regret not leaving.

OP, his response raises even more red flags. Out at “a friends” house overnight? Um, sure, that seems like a rational response to being caught in a lie about a nude photo op n his phone.

Time to lie low and start investigating. Check records and unusual spending. But it’s probably his boss. Can you hire a PI? My sister did when she caught her DH exchanging ILY by text with a woman he refused to name. My sister had her name within 48 hours. It was a coworker.