Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a rising 9th grader, I would be devastated if she doesn't get her first choice in the college admission process. She is smart enough to ALWAYS get her first choice so it won't be a stretch for her advisor. I am glad the school made the change now. They still have three years to make sure all the money we invested will send her on the way to her dreams.

I will assume this is an april fools joke of a post.

This year’s seniors just heard and got great news. Of course that is through my kid, and he is incredibly happy for his friends. He also said this was a particularly strong class to begin with. I can’t imagine crying over getting the counselor in question, though, by the way. That’s ridiculous. You sink or float on your own merits. A grammatical error isn’t going to negate all of a child’s hard work. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I was always fine with my kid going to a non-top college as long as it’s an accredited place where he can learn. Which by the way is practically every school in the country. I recognize that feeling that way comes from a fair amount of privilege—while we’re far from wealthy, we can help our son pay for his education, and he’s starting out with a great high school education. I also know he’s a good, hard-working kid and will do fine in life regardless of whether he attends a non-flagship state school or an Ivy League school. He met a bunch of kids while working in California last summer who had attended community college for 2 years but were all transferring to places like Duke and UCBerkeley, and that changed his mindset. Those kids could never have pay for four years of college without accruing tremendous debt, but they are smart and ambitious. He concluded that they were probably the smartest of all—they took the long view, to be sure. I am glad he realized that. He also has examples in his own family of people succeeding despite starting from nothing (immigrants/no education/no money/but s strong focus on education). But again, he won’t be a first-generation college kid. I understand why it’s more impactful to some students than others to get a name degree, at least that’s what the research shows.

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a rising 9th grader, I would be devastated if she doesn't get her first choice in the college admission process. She is smart enough to ALWAYS get her first choice so it won't be a stretch for her advisor. I am glad the school made the change now. They still have three years to make sure all the money we invested will send her on the way to her dreams.

^ You're being facetious, right? (Sometimes it's hard to tell on the internet ).

As a parent of a rising 9th grader, I would be devastated if she doesn't get her first choice in the college admission process. She is smart enough to ALWAYS get her first choice so it won't be a stretch for her advisor. I am glad the school made the change now. They still have three years to make sure all the money we invested will send her on the way to her dreams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are the top 25% of your class you will get decent counseling from the school Jr and Sr year, as well the top athletes with OK grades.
Everyone else will get the small SLAC (esp boys), U of Vermont, and Elon pitch.

As a Sidwell parent with a not-top-of-the-class kid this gives me chills

This should not give you chills. If so, you’re delusional. If your child is not near the top of the class, the Sidwell name alone is not going to get your child into a TOP school. Sidwell will get your child into a mid level school that he/she is probably still not qualified for. So that’s what you’re paying for. The chance to get into a mid level SLAC or U Vermont etc. because your average kid coming from your local public might be lucky to get into Towson.

Sorry, I was not clear. I'm in no way delusional. The part that I find relatively upsetting is the implication that if you're not in the top 25% of class, you won't get decent counseling from the school. Did I misunderstand that? Believe me, I know my kid's limitations.

Any thoughts on what we can do to help the losers out there that went to a “mid level?” What does that even mean? This encapsulates everything that is sick about college admissions. We try to tell our kids that a good school is a good school for you. This is just a bunch of elitist name brand bullshit, kind of like saying you own a Porsche. This is really at the core of what is wrong with private school parents, they just want to brag about the name.

How would you know that the junior counselor had grammatical errors in his recommendation letter?

Anonymous wrote:Guess Bryan Garman is going to continue to ingore the parents. Unless you have a place in Martha's Vineyard.

Such a disappointment.

Spring break, much?

Guess Bryan Garman is going to continue to ingore the parents. Unless you have a place in Martha's Vineyard.

Such a disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are trying to say it obliquely yet others continue to suggest the problem is just parents with unrealistic demands. So to be direct: One of the college counseling staff turned out to be incompetent at his job, and the director insisted on keeping him on long after the problem was obvious to students, parents and other school staff.

That brings up more questions. Why was he keeping him in the job? Given the salary, did he think it will be hard to attract anyone else to replace him? Also, are the parents expectation aligned with the reality? If a kid is not fit/prepared for certain school then no matter how hard the counselors push he/she won't be accepted, I can understand after spending so much why some parents will be unwilling to hear that.

I don't think that is the issue. According to what some wrote earlier in the thread, the counselor in question sent recommendations that had grammatical errors etc. which obviously provides little confidence to the admissions staff reading it. I think most people understand that colleges are more selective today than 15 or 30 years ago and not everyone is groomed for Harvard.

Well, in this generation not everyone cares that much about classist and racist Harvard.

Sorry your kid didn't get in; it was probably a long shot anyway, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has worked in private schools, this thread is terrifying. Most people want to do a good job and want to find an employer who is a good fit. Most adults can tolerate constructure criticism too, even if it stings a little when we receive it. But threads like this are the professional equivalent of a burn book. Who would sign up for that, particularly if you don’t exactly get rich doing it? Yikes.

If one is competent at the job, there are no issues. It is clear there was a bad hire that has caused many issues for the department. With a clean slate, things will be better in the short term.

+1. Things wouldn’t have reached the point of frustration had the director honestly acknowkedged that the situation hasn’t worked out when it became clear early on. That can happen in any organization. The problem was in stubbornly digging in and not making the change until after things had become worse and a large segment of yet another senior class had endured a substandard advising experience.

Plus this year's dud of a class will be gone.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has worked in private schools, this thread is terrifying. Most people want to do a good job and want to find an employer who is a good fit. Most adults can tolerate constructure criticism too, even if it stings a little when we receive it. But threads like this are the professional equivalent of a burn book. Who would sign up for that, particularly if you don’t exactly get rich doing it? Yikes.

If one is competent at the job, there are no issues. It is clear there was a bad hire that has caused many issues for the department. With a clean slate, things will be better in the short term.

As someone who has worked in private schools, this thread is terrifying. Most people want to do a good job and want to find an employer who is a good fit. Most adults can tolerate constructure criticism too, even if it stings a little when we receive it. But threads like this are the professional equivalent of a burn book. Who would sign up for that, particularly if you don’t exactly get rich doing it? Yikes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general feeling about the departing counselors among many seniors and their parents seems to be “don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

And you know because...

There have been juniors who have cried when they got assigned to the one counselor, because it was like drawing the short straw. SFS has to put those days behind it.

This sounds like evidence that kids at this school are unhealthily stressed about college

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general feeling about the departing counselors among many seniors and their parents seems to be “don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

And you know because...

There have been juniors who have cried when they got assigned to the one counselor, because it was like drawing the short straw. SFS has to put those days behind it.