Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 11:49     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:Ok so it is pretty unanimous that nobody here thinks pizza for a school party is the norm, expected, wanted, or even reasonable.

Op said all the classes do it so they have to do it. Sounds like an unfunded mandate to me. Op, tell us more please.


New poster here: pizza is the norm at our school. If you go to the school before Xmas break or near the end of the year, there are tons of pizzas being delivered, waiting in the office or being fought in by snroom parent. Pizza is def the norm at our school.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:58     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.


How exactly was this mandatory minimum amount "agreed upon?" Did you take a survey of the class? Did every parent say that $X was ok with them?

I highly doubt that. I imagine that you, or you and the other room parents "agreed" upon the minimum amount and then tried to dictate that to the rest of the parents. Sorry, honey that ain't an agreed upon amount and no one has an obligation to accede to your demands. And your public shaming is disgusting and I would do everything in my power to make sure you could never be a room parent again.


We donate and contribute to our kids' classrooms, but if I saw a room parent sending out emails with the names of families who had not contributed, I would raise a huge stink. I'd probably take it to the principal. These donations are not mandatory, no matter what you say. It's a public school and you don't have to pay to attend.



+1. Work with the funds you have. If that means a party with pretzels and mini cupcakes served on paper towel (10$ total) then great. The only time I’ve ever heard parenrs complain was when the room parent was a hot mess and failed to invite most of the parents to one of the class parties. Otherwise people don’t much care.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:42     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:Ok so it is pretty unanimous that nobody here thinks pizza for a school party is the norm, expected, wanted, or even reasonable.

Op said all the classes do it so they have to do it. Sounds like an unfunded mandate to me. Op, tell us more please.

I don't think that there is a school in existence anywhere that requires parent-funded pizza. I doubt that the school really requires a party. I expect that it is more like the school dictates that days / occasions when you can have a party and the OP is interpreting that as a party is required on all of those days.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:33     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've seen it done where they charge $5 for 2 slices of pizza, if you don't pay, your kid doesn't get it. You then say if there is a hardship, email you and the kid will be given free pizza, with nobody knowing money wasn't given, BUT if they don't contact you the kid will NOT get pizza. That way you don't discriminate against those with financial issues. The money can cover some snacks at the party, teacher gifts, etc. For party decor, reuse what you have, have your kids make stuff-paper snowmen and snowflakes, hearts or whatever, but don't waste money. Have parents donate treats and beverages.


No! Exclude a kid because an email got lost?


Seriously. This is why I HATE all the parties.

I wish people like OP and PP would just get a life and stop trying to find meaning by manufacturing drama. In a way I kind of hope that the above does happen because it would give other parents the opening to SHUT down this stupid party situation. So many of us would be GRATEFUL if you STOPPED the parties.


Really? I don't know many people who despise class parties. I think most of us just think it should be modest and inexpensive. The person who said cupcakes and water was on board. Go cheaper than bottled water. Bring some jugs and cups or if the kids have water bottles great. I think it's the over-the-top must have all the food and fun decor part that makes people roll their eyes. When i volunteer at class parties where there was a lot of food requested from parents I cringe when I see how much is dumped in the trash. The kids don't need a full lunch and a choice of 6 types of chips, full veggie platter, several types of fruit and 6 different desserts. 1 treat, t beverage and if you are super generous 1 healthy options or snacky food.


I’m the PP who hates the parties. I guess it would be more appropriate to say I hate what the parties have become.

Room parents like the OP and PP who want to turn a nice activity into a way to shame kids and their families is gross. I would rather not have the little school celebrations than deal with the room parent BS. In theory, they signed up to support the kids and classroom — instead they want to create petty and mean ways to exclude children whose parents don’t do what they want. In my book that’s worse than doing nothing, all their “effort” and work is a net loss for the classroom if some classmates are excluded from the class parties.

Get a job, get a hobby but most of all, get a life OP.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:21     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:The people who end up being room parents, at least in my school, are people who are pinteresty types with too much time and money on their hands at home. So they think class parties should be as fussy as their own lives and don't realize that most people don't spend their time and money the same way.

I hate this culture we have created. Break out some board games, some reusable decorations and some chips. $15 for the whole party.

A class party in the 80s was a game of 7up, and a few rounds of hamgman.


OMG, I was in ES in the 80s and you basically described every class party! Hangman on the chalkboard! Sometimes it was bingo, though, instead of 7up.

We NEVER had party decorations. The teacher might decorate her bulletin board for the holiday, and we probably made holiday-related arts and crafts to display, but nothing was bought just for a party.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:19     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Ok so it is pretty unanimous that nobody here thinks pizza for a school party is the norm, expected, wanted, or even reasonable.

Op said all the classes do it so they have to do it. Sounds like an unfunded mandate to me. Op, tell us more please.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:13     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Never heard of pizza at a class party. Only seen snacks, which parents volunteer to bring using SignUp Genius. You need to have said no to the teacher. If you are not able to communicate, then do not volunteer for the job.


Thanks for piling on.... I will take all the criticism here and do what I should have done: quit and let someone else take on this thankless job. But next time I hear "no one ever volunteers for anything" I will recall how I got sh*t on for doing it. And I don't feel bad about doing nothing from now on. Truly a thankless job. F you all very much, I am out.


With that attitude, the class is better off. Seriously. Don't sign up if you're the martyr type--it just gives class parents a bad name.

We've never had a class party with pizza. It's not necessary. Decorations are not necessary. A snack, a fun activity or two, and you're done. It's a little school party, don't blow it out of proportion. If it's too much work for you, scale back.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:08     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
I would say 9:05 nailed it with what’s wrong with school parties. We had something like this for school sports in HS. What a PITA that was.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 09:05     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.


How exactly was this mandatory minimum amount "agreed upon?" Did you take a survey of the class? Did every parent say that $X was ok with them?

I highly doubt that. I imagine that you, or you and the other room parents "agreed" upon the minimum amount and then tried to dictate that to the rest of the parents. Sorry, honey that ain't an agreed upon amount and no one has an obligation to accede to your demands. And your public shaming is disgusting and I would do everything in my power to make sure you could never be a room parent again.


We donate and contribute to our kids' classrooms, but if I saw a room parent sending out emails with the names of families who had not contributed, I would raise a huge stink. I'd probably take it to the principal. These donations are not mandatory, no matter what you say. It's a public school and you don't have to pay to attend.

Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 08:51     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so glad we didn’t have room parents this year at school. For the party the teacher sent a link to a sign up sheet. For the winter party they ate cheese, clementines, apple slices, sausage slices and baby carrots. I signed up to bring clementines. They decorated gingerbread houses so everyone was assigned one item to bring in. We had to bring two cans of frosting. Super easy.


That's probably because no one volunteered or was willing to do it. Sausage slices...that's not a party.


That’s your opinion. I’d rather go to this party than one with domino’s pizza.


And, that's your opinion. I doubt your kids would agree.

I asked. Mine wants the gingerbread house.


We did the Gingerbread house. Graham Crackers, frosting, and some candy. Parents make the house for the kids and the kids decorate. The cost is pretty minimal, a couple of boxes of graham crackers, some tubs of frosting, some bags of chips, M&Ms, and small candy canes.


+1 Way more fun than pizza. Experience/activities trump food.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 08:47     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
A lot of the most fun games are cheap, like Bingo. Give out dollar store prizes.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 08:44     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
I agree with some PP who say too elaborate. At our UMC school it turned into a competition with a few of the overly involved parents. As a result parties were rushed and not fun because too much food too many different crafts games etc in a short time. And each parent standing there pushing theirs.
I had done it for years but I stepped back and out of that mess. It wasn’t that enjoyable for the kids either. I can see why the schools have some rules about this. As for the teacher gift. .... teacher bribe more like.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 08:10     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
The people who end up being room parents, at least in my school, are people who are pinteresty types with too much time and money on their hands at home. So they think class parties should be as fussy as their own lives and don't realize that most people don't spend their time and money the same way.

I hate this culture we have created. Break out some board games, some reusable decorations and some chips. $15 for the whole party.

A class party in the 80s was a game of 7up, and a few rounds of hamgman.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 06:53     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so glad we didn’t have room parents this year at school. For the party the teacher sent a link to a sign up sheet. For the winter party they ate cheese, clementines, apple slices, sausage slices and baby carrots. I signed up to bring clementines. They decorated gingerbread houses so everyone was assigned one item to bring in. We had to bring two cans of frosting. Super easy.


That's probably because no one volunteered or was willing to do it. Sausage slices...that's not a party.


That’s your opinion. I’d rather go to this party than one with domino’s pizza.


And, that's your opinion. I doubt your kids would agree.

I asked. Mine wants the gingerbread house.


We did the Gingerbread house. Graham Crackers, frosting, and some candy. Parents make the house for the kids and the kids decorate. The cost is pretty minimal, a couple of boxes of graham crackers, some tubs of frosting, some bags of chips, M&Ms, and small candy canes.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2019 06:44     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so glad we didn’t have room parents this year at school. For the party the teacher sent a link to a sign up sheet. For the winter party they ate cheese, clementines, apple slices, sausage slices and baby carrots. I signed up to bring clementines. They decorated gingerbread houses so everyone was assigned one item to bring in. We had to bring two cans of frosting. Super easy.


That's probably because no one volunteered or was willing to do it. Sausage slices...that's not a party.


That’s your opinion. I’d rather go to this party than one with domino’s pizza.


And, that's your opinion. I doubt your kids would agree.

I asked. Mine wants the gingerbread house.