Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought college was the best time to have a baby. A pregnancy will interfere with career advancement and getting by without a paycheck is much harder when you are paying a mortgage
I would say congratulations!
The kid will have experiences and opportunities.

um ... where do you think the money and time will come from to finish college and start a career??

Many colleges have schokarship$ for single parents that goes unused because no one knows it exists. Student health recommended I abort, I was considering adoption, but my advisor told me to go see a certain Dean. The Dean knew who to go to in FA. That changed the trajectory of two lives. Both DD and I have degrees and a very good life.

Anonymous wrote:I thought college was the best time to have a baby. A pregnancy will interfere with career advancement and getting by without a paycheck is much harder when you are paying a mortgage
I would say congratulations!
The kid will have experiences and opportunities.

um ... where do you think the money and time will come from to finish college and start a career??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s surreal that any rational person would get pregnant and give birth to a child whilst in college. It sounds like the premise for a movie.

Wtf?

Wtf, wtf? No offense but you’d have to be an utter moron to get pregnant give the wide availability of birth control and the day after pill. And then you compound this irresponsible stupidity by carrying an unwanted child to term? It’s like something out of the hillbilly or ghetto handbook on how to seriously derail your life. Wtf indeed.

Why do you assume unplanned means unwanted? Most pregnancies in the US are unplanned. What kind of narrow, horrible life have you led that you think most kids are unwanted?

Anonymous wrote:It’s surreal that any rational person would get pregnant and give birth to a child whilst in college. It sounds like the premise for a movie.

I think I’m a rational person and I did it. Considered adoption. Made a rational decision that I could use the resources available to me to parent and finish my degree. Did that. And my MA by age 24. My young adult is now a college grad herself and has a great career.

I thought college was the best time to have a baby. A pregnancy will interfere with career advancement and getting by without a paycheck is much harder when you are paying a mortgage
I would say congratulations!
The kid will have experiences and opportunities.

I have a friend who made the (from my perspective valiant) decision to allow a CA couple adopt her baby (a girl). My friend (a DMV resident) chose a CA couple because she was able to select the family. The child is now in h.s. and has sought out my friend (who opted not to make or keep contact) and as far as the child's fb looks she had led an amazing life full of opportunity and experiences my friend could not have offered.
I had an abortion when I faced a similar situation. Both my friend and I are happy with the choices we made and the adopted child appears to be leading a wonderful life.

This happened to me at start of college. My mother let me know that my expectation for her to watch the baby was not how she planned to spend her days. After I had a clearer understanding of the support I could expect (a place to live but no built in babysitters and no additional financial support) I chose to terminate the pregnancy.
( I remain so grateful that medical procedure was an option for me and (fingers crossed) will remain an option for my daughter and other girls/women. )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s surreal that any rational person would get pregnant and give birth to a child whilst in college. It sounds like the premise for a movie.

Wtf?

Wtf, wtf? No offense but you’d have to be an utter moron to get pregnant give the wide availability of birth control and the day after pill. And then you compound this irresponsible stupidity by carrying an unwanted child to term? It’s like something out of the hillbilly or ghetto handbook on how to seriously derail your life. Wtf indeed.

Anonymous wrote:Update: she’s finishing up the semester and taking next semester off. She is giving the baby up for adoption to a couple who was unable to conceive.

My friend in college did this between freshman and sophomore year. The kid is graduating high school now! I’m not sure what their relationship was like when he was younger but he’s old enough to have a Facebook and my friend and the father are involved with him and his family (friend and father were a couple in college but not anymore). I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision but life has worked out beautifully for all involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this update. I remember this thread well. It sounds like she thought this through very responsibly and I wish her all the best. I remember thinking when I was her age some of the same things said in this thread, that it would ruin my life to have a baby, derail all my important plans, etc. I even remember kind of understanding when a college couple made the news by throwing away their newborn; after all, it was going to ruin their lives, right? With the benefit of much hindsight I can see that life is long, with many opportunities to start fresh.

OP here. Yep. She talked to her advisor at college and it looks like she’ll be able to return in the fall and graduate on time with her class. This isn’t what any parent plans for their child, but I think the plan we have sets her on a good path going forward.

Asking because my DD is 14, so we have not hit this phase of life yet. Not to be snarky. In fact, hugs to you and your DD. And I’m sure someone is about to say something snarky about Math being hard. But I don’t know your DD’s school calendar. Is she stopping soon because she is literally going to give birth before the end of the next grading period? Or because she is uncomfortable at school in her third trimester? I was wondering how tolerant college kids were about pregnant peers in 2018?

Also, did she tell the dad? How did he react?

Again, hugs and good thoughts to your family.

???? What do you think her peers are going to shun her?

Not Op, but my guess is that she's due before the end of the spring semester. She would never pass her classes if she had to take time off, give birth, recover from the birth and take care of a newborn (or possibly adjust to an adoption, whatever she decides to do).

I don't think her peers would shun her but no one is going to be asking her to parties or some of the other more active things that college kids do. And I doubt she would be up for late night socializing or co-ed flag football even if they did ask her.

She needs some time to adapt to her new normal.

Thinking of Casey Anthony and her darling, dead three year old. There are worse things than abortion.

You’re right. The only options are murder a three year old and get an abortion

Anonymous wrote:It’s surreal that any rational person would get pregnant and give birth to a child whilst in college. It sounds like the premise for a movie.

Wtf?

It’s surreal that any rational person would get pregnant and give birth to a child whilst in college. It sounds like the premise for a movie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this update. I remember this thread well. It sounds like she thought this through very responsibly and I wish her all the best. I remember thinking when I was her age some of the same things said in this thread, that it would ruin my life to have a baby, derail all my important plans, etc. I even remember kind of understanding when a college couple made the news by throwing away their newborn; after all, it was going to ruin their lives, right? With the benefit of much hindsight I can see that life is long, with many opportunities to start fresh.

OP here. Yep. She talked to her advisor at college and it looks like she’ll be able to return in the fall and graduate on time with her class. This isn’t what any parent plans for their child, but I think the plan we have sets her on a good path going forward.

Asking because my DD is 14, so we have not hit this phase of life yet. Not to be snarky. In fact, hugs to you and your DD. And I’m sure someone is about to say something snarky about Math being hard. But I don’t know your DD’s school calendar. Is she stopping soon because she is literally going to give birth before the end of the next grading period? Or because she is uncomfortable at school in her third trimester? I was wondering how tolerant college kids were about pregnant peers in 2018?

Also, did she tell the dad? How did he react?

Again, hugs and good thoughts to your family.

???? What do you think her peers are going to shun her?

Not Op, but my guess is that she's due before the end of the spring semester. She would never pass her classes if she had to take time off, give birth, recover from the birth and take care of a newborn (or possibly adjust to an adoption, whatever she decides to do).

I don't think her peers would shun her but no one is going to be asking her to parties or some of the other more active things that college kids do. And I doubt she would be up for late night socializing or co-ed flag football even if they did ask her.

She needs some time to adapt to her new normal.

Thinking of Casey Anthony and her darling, dead three year old. There are worse things than abortion.