Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine with someone wanting a “no kids” wedding as long as the bride/groom/extended family are cool with this being the reason I don’t attend. I will not volunteer the reason, but would answer honestly if asked and my MIL would definitely ask. But it would be irrational for people to have their feelings hurt over our non-attendance.

If you're going to say no to a wedding invite simply because they didn't invite your children (without even considering a way that you could make this work), then I doubt anyone will miss your presence anyway. I know I wouldn't.

If you know that no kids would be a deal breaker for me, why do invite me? If you don't know, again, why do you invite me? Gift grab?

How does one know that kids are going to be a dealbreaker? Many people with children continue to go on and have lives of their own, children aside. And I say that as someone who co sleeps, is doing extended breastfeeding, and in general would be considered a mommy martyr.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine with someone wanting a “no kids” wedding as long as the bride/groom/extended family are cool with this being the reason I don’t attend. I will not volunteer the reason, but would answer honestly if asked and my MIL would definitely ask. But it would be irrational for people to have their feelings hurt over our non-attendance.

If you're going to say no to a wedding invite simply because they didn't invite your children (without even considering a way that you could make this work), then I doubt anyone will miss your presence anyway. I know I wouldn't.

If you know that no kids would be a deal breaker for me, why do invite me? If you don't know, again, why do you invite me? Gift grab?

Hey OP, what did you decide to ultimately do? Just not go? That seems to be the general advice here. Did you send back your rsvp?

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine with someone wanting a “no kids” wedding as long as the bride/groom/extended family are cool with this being the reason I don’t attend. I will not volunteer the reason, but would answer honestly if asked and my MIL would definitely ask. But it would be irrational for people to have their feelings hurt over our non-attendance.

If you're going to say no to a wedding invite simply because they didn't invite your children (without even considering a way that you could make this work), then I doubt anyone will miss your presence anyway. I know I wouldn't.

I’m fine with someone wanting a “no kids” wedding as long as the bride/groom/extended family are cool with this being the reason I don’t attend. I will not volunteer the reason, but would answer honestly if asked and my MIL would definitely ask. But it would be irrational for people to have their feelings hurt over our non-attendance.

My cousin allowed children at her wedding, but she hired a babysitter and had a designated room for kids to play during the ceremony and first dances, or if kids started to cry there was a quiet space for parents to take their child.

I allowed kids at my wedding, but not many people brought their kids

My SIL has her one year old in the dressing room as we were getting ready. Her kid was screaming for a good hour before the ceremony. She did nothing to help her kid and said she wanted to let her cry it out. I told my fiancée to get his BIL and spend some time with the kid, because I was about to lose my marbles. It’s one thing to have a screaming child briefly interrupt a ceremony but to have them scream for an hour while you’re trying to get ready before walking down the aisle is horrible.

We were at a wedding last summer where kids were invited to the afternoon ceremonies, but not the reception. The bride is Indian and this was definitely something her own parents were not too comfortable with, because in Indian culture it’s unheard of to leave anyone out (much less kids of close family/ friends). Most people were traveling for the wedding. What ended up happening is that some of the guests with children ended up leaving before the reception, and others hired babysitters for their kids so that they could attend. No big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

You're an ass. They bothered to invite you. You couldn't be bothered to send a response? Seriously? I bet they're glad you didn't come.

I don't think they noticed. I meant to ask my parents about it and forgot. I don't know the people, some cousin who I never talk to and I've seen once or twice when I was a kid. I think it was the second marriage. I think the invitation was FB's fault as, while we are not FB friends, my kids friended some relatives they never met, and we were invited out of obligation.

Stop talking. I’m embarrassed for you.

Thank you. I am not.

I applaud your family member's decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Not the bride’s problem.

You’re being selfish.

Oh, but is it the groom's problem, though?

AGAIN, SOME MORE: people with vaginas are not the only people capable of/responsible for planning a wedding.

FFS.

Are you always this pedantic?

I think most people can extrapolate that bride also equals groom, or wedding party.

Yes, that's definitely what our society thinks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Not the bride’s problem.

You’re being selfish.

Oh, but is it the groom's problem, though?

AGAIN, SOME MORE: people with vaginas are not the only people capable of/responsible for planning a wedding.

FFS.

Are you always this pedantic?

I think most people can extrapolate that bride also equals groom, or wedding party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Not the bride’s problem.

You’re being selfish.

Oh, but is it the groom's problem, though?

AGAIN, SOME MORE: people with vaginas are not the only people capable of/responsible for planning a wedding.

FFS.

Kids at weddings are annoying to EVERYONE. Of course the couple will make an exception for their own children. You have a lot of options, including not going, but don't act like you are being wronged!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

That's too much work. I just found a reply card I forgot to mail back many months ago. I don't ever talk to those relatives so it completely slipped my mind. I opened an envelope, saw an invitation and put it in a stack of unimportant papers "to deal with when convenient".

You're an ass. They bothered to invite you. You couldn't be bothered to send a response? Seriously? I bet they're glad you didn't come.

I don't think they noticed. I meant to ask my parents about it and forgot. I don't know the people, some cousin who I never talk to and I've seen once or twice when I was a kid. I think it was the second marriage. I think the invitation was FB's fault as, while we are not FB friends, my kids friended some relatives they never met, and we were invited out of obligation.

Stop talking. I’m embarrassed for you.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Not the bride’s problem.

You’re being selfish.