Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the end of the day, everyone has different circumstances and dynamics. I have friends who feel guilty all the time for missing kid stuff but perhaps her parents were divorced and want the financial security. Some women are the breadwinners. Some moms just like working and don't feel guilty for missing school events since they are working for the kids anyways. Some moms don't work because their husbands make $$$. Other moms don't work because their income would barely cover childcare. Then there are the moms who have to work and have no other options. Do what is best for your family and don't get so upset about others.

I think what gets people upset is when some people come on here and act like everyone has the same options. The one mom where both parents have flex schedules with high six figure salaries while working from home sounds especially obnoxious to me. Then the 7 figure poster was equally obnoxious.

You left out some moms return to work when kids are in school because, for them, the juggle is easier at that age, and they would rather work than stay home.

I think the question was whether it is harder for working moms once kids enter elementary school. Of course it will be easier for a SAHM when the kids start going to school full time.

??? Your response makes no sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the end of the day, everyone has different circumstances and dynamics. I have friends who feel guilty all the time for missing kid stuff but perhaps her parents were divorced and want the financial security. Some women are the breadwinners. Some moms just like working and don't feel guilty for missing school events since they are working for the kids anyways. Some moms don't work because their husbands make $$$. Other moms don't work because their income would barely cover childcare. Then there are the moms who have to work and have no other options. Do what is best for your family and don't get so upset about others.

I think what gets people upset is when some people come on here and act like everyone has the same options. The one mom where both parents have flex schedules with high six figure salaries while working from home sounds especially obnoxious to me. Then the 7 figure poster was equally obnoxious.

You left out some moms return to work when kids are in school because, for them, the juggle is easier at that age, and they would rather work than stay home.

I think the question was whether it is harder for working moms once kids enter elementary school. Of course it will be easier for a SAHM when the kids start going to school full time.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes 5 minutes to load a dishwasher! I load everything and there are 5 of us!

It takes about 5 minutes to fold laundry - I do it daily for 5 of us. It's one load! EASY

10 minutes in the evening!!!
--------------------------------
It takes 2 minutes, if even, to load a washer

Yes, it takes about 5 minutes to unload my dishwasher in the AM. 5 minutes!!!

Total time is 7 minutes in the AM!!!

I think u have 17 minutes a day to make y our life easier. It's not a big deal. Just do it EVERY day so stuff doesn't pile up!

I'm a SAHM with a preschooler and elementary school aged child. Our cleaning lady comes every other week. I'm a SAHM and still my dishes and laundry pile up. It does not take 2 minutes to load the dishwasher. It takes me longer to clear the table, wipe table down, wipe down counters, get pots and pans into the sink. This does not include time to rinse and load the dishwasher.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes 5 minutes to load a dishwasher! I load everything and there are 5 of us!

It takes about 5 minutes to fold laundry - I do it daily for 5 of us. It's one load! EASY

10 minutes in the evening!!!
--------------------------------
It takes 2 minutes, if even, to load a washer

Yes, it takes about 5 minutes to unload my dishwasher in the AM. 5 minutes!!!

Total time is 7 minutes in the AM!!!

I think u have 17 minutes a day to make y our life easier. It's not a big deal. Just do it EVERY day so stuff doesn't pile up!

I don't find it difficult to keep up with the house at all. I think people who let things pile up have the stress. I'm admittedly a KonMari fanatic and don't have a bunch of unecessary crap and put things back where they belong. My children have chores. I don't even unload or load my dishwasher. That's what kids are for! What in the hell are these older kids you all have doing to be a good housemate??

Every morning I pull clothes out of the dryer (I one load a day) and sorted them in 3 baskets. One for each of my kids and one for DH and i. Kids know that when they get home from school they are to put their clothes away. And yes, to fold them the KonMari way!

And they are home right after school because we have an AuPair. Makes life so much more manageable.

Anonymous wrote:All this tells me is this...

If you have enough money to outsource everything, you can easily sit up and declare how good it feels to work. Sure, you aren't doing jack shit when you get home but spending time with your kids. Most people don't have that amount of money to do that.

If you have a flexible job, you can easily sit here and say that it is easy to manage a career and kids. You won't miss a 4pm performance little Suzy is in because you can stand up, leave and go. Most people don't have a flexible work environment.

If you don't have enough money to outsource household duties and your job isn't flexible, you should consider working part time, staying at home, or trying to make the best of working full time.

x 100

Finally someone speaks sense!

Anonymous wrote:Recently a few of my friends have quit their jobs to SAH with elementary aged kids. We're not there yet (my oldest is 3) but they tell me that with activities and homework (plus all the random days off and half days), having kids gets more stressful as they get older and it is hard to get everything done smoothly with two full time jobs. I was surprised to hear this because I thought it would get better not worse! lol

Is this common? Did you find that it got harder in this way?

No, I don't think it's harder at all. Our preschool also had professional days off etc. The only real difference is activities plus homework. We have two kids and limit them them to two after school activities each per week. They do some homework in aftercare, some at home in the evenings (usually while I cook dinner, so I'm right there if they have questions) and on weekends. It's totally doable and much better now that they're more independent and can do a few chores. I think travel sports would be a killer--the logistics would not be possible for us (fortunately our kids are not gung ho)--but otherwise we find life much better with two in ES.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, my favorite part is these threads is how many people love to find a way to drop in a word about their "7 figure income." So tacky. If you are earning that much, none of these concerns mentioned should be concerns at all.

+1 I can't relate to whatever advice comes from these posters other than feeling worse about my situation.
Thanks for nothing

+ 1

The answer to any stress on the home front is to throw money at it. Sorry I don't have any extra money to throw after paying my mortgage and childcare bills and necessities like food and water! And I don't think that makes me unique either. MOST of America struggles to get by. MOST Americans don't have $400 for an emergency. We do so we're not that bad off but I can't outsource my laundry and errands and whatever else. So stop telling me to do that FFS!

This is about OLDER childrrn. Not infants.

Iyes I have a housekeeper/nanny. She comes at 1pm, do a ALL the bullshit things like laundry, groceries, errands, and meal prep. She also is home when the kids get off the bus and gets them a snack and makes sure they start their homework. THIS COSTS LESS THAN DAYCARE. This is not a wealthy person "thing". And my kids don't have to live an exhausting schedulem

What can I say rich, ignorant posters annoy me.

Hopefully the budget is big enough for some much needed therapy.

We all make our own choices in life. If you aren't happy with yours. You need to make changes not blame others for your unhappiness.

She is clearly absolutely miserable with her life. Poor kids.

^^ yes

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM with older elementary kids. I'm sure a lot of acquaintances think I have a cushy life, but they probably don't realize I'm also taking care of an elderly parent, scheduling appointments, shopping, running errands, etc. Don't envy someone else's life unless you really know what's going on behind the scenes.

Absent the elderly parent, don't working moms do all of these things

Anonymous wrote:All this tells me is this...

If you have enough money to outsource everything, you can easily sit up and declare how good it feels to work. Sure, you aren't doing jack shit when you get home but spending time with your kids. Most people don't have that amount of money to do that.

If you have a flexible job, you can easily sit here and say that it is easy to manage a career and kids. You won't miss a 4pm performance little Suzy is in because you can stand up, leave and go. Most people don't have a flexible work environment.

If you don't have enough money to outsource household duties and your job isn't flexible, you should consider working part time, staying at home, or trying to make the best of working full time.

If you can't afford to hire an afternoon babysitter, you definitely can't afford to sah.

I'm a SAHM with older elementary kids. I'm sure a lot of acquaintances think I have a cushy life, but they probably don't realize I'm also taking care of an elderly parent, scheduling appointments, shopping, running errands, etc. Don't envy someone else's life unless you really know what's going on behind the scenes.

All this tells me is this...

If you have enough money to outsource everything, you can easily sit up and declare how good it feels to work. Sure, you aren't doing jack shit when you get home but spending time with your kids. Most people don't have that amount of money to do that.

If you have a flexible job, you can easily sit here and say that it is easy to manage a career and kids. You won't miss a 4pm performance little Suzy is in because you can stand up, leave and go. Most people don't have a flexible work environment.

If you don't have enough money to outsource household duties and your job isn't flexible, you should consider working part time, staying at home, or trying to make the best of working full time.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes 5 minutes to load a dishwasher! I load everything and there are 5 of us!

It takes about 5 minutes to fold laundry - I do it daily for 5 of us. It's one load! EASY

10 minutes in the evening!!!
--------------------------------
It takes 2 minutes, if even, to load a washer

Yes, it takes about 5 minutes to unload my dishwasher in the AM. 5 minutes!!!

Total time is 7 minutes in the AM!!!

I think u have 17 minutes a day to make y our life easier. It's not a big deal. Just do it EVERY day so stuff doesn't pile up!

Okay NP on the "it only takes 5 minutes" speech.

Loading a dishwasher does not take 2 minutes of less. It just doesn't. Also, many people have to scrub certain pans and also hand wash items.

If you throw in laundry at night and dryer before you leave in AM, aren't your clothes are all wrinkled when you try and fold them 10 hours later?

I throw in a load in AM, dryer when I get home and fold while dinner is cooking. I make everyone take their clothes up before dinner. I use almost all hangers because folding sucks. This process is efficient but it still takes more than 5 minutes, a lot more. There are also days this does not get done because that is life.

Emptying the dishwasher does take about 5 minutes. I will agree with that. And if you get an elementary-school child, that should be their AM chore while you are getting ready.


But to sit here and chastise people about their routine and how easy it can be to do a few simple chores. No one needs that PP. Everyone has different circumstances. And one load of dishwasher and one load of laundry does not even equal an entire days worth of household/child duties, Making lunches, cooking dinner, doing homework, and anything else that comes along. And it also does not do anything about trash, pets, floor cleaning, bathrooms, lawn care, errands, groceries etc... that adds up quickly too.

This thread seems to have hit a nerve. Everyone does have different circumstances, but the truth is it is hard. I have a fairly flexible schedule, a supportive spouse, and some family support, and I am still exhausted a lot. Also, I think many of us feel conflicted. I would like to lean in more, but I have one child and don't want to miss much more than I'm already missing. I think all you can do is make the best decisions for your family and yourself at the time, and try to be supportive of one another.

Yes, it takes 5 minutes to load a dishwasher! I load everything and there are 5 of us!

It takes about 5 minutes to fold laundry - I do it daily for 5 of us. It's one load! EASY

10 minutes in the evening!!!
--------------------------------
It takes 2 minutes, if even, to load a washer

Yes, it takes about 5 minutes to unload my dishwasher in the AM. 5 minutes!!!

Total time is 7 minutes in the AM!!!

I think u have 17 minutes a day to make y our life easier. It's not a big deal. Just do it EVERY day so stuff doesn't pile up!