Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 22:12     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.


But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.



Np here. Part of this is practice, that is all. I used to SAH and my first year (with one kid only) was tough. I had a hard time stimulating her and cooking and cleaning...after a few years, plus two other kids, I figured out how to be efficient. By the time my youngest was 1, I was down to doing 3 loads of laundry a week, and running the d/w only twice a week. Our house was fairly clean (could be guest ready in 30 mins), and we ate out only once a week. But most of this was learning to be efficient, and reducing the overall workload by being mindful of daily practices. Use one water glass a day. reuse your towel for a week. why change clothes four times a day? That is what those huge ikea bib smocks are for!
OP, we all have stuff we dislike in housework. Figure out how to cook twice a week where you can make leftovers/recycle another two nights worth of dinners and see if DH can do the other three nights.


Eh diapers leak, potty accidents happen. Beds get wet. Little kids like dirt and squishy things. Efficiency only goes so far.

You did a load of laundry every other day? I often did 3 loads in a day and I only have 2 kids. You only ran your dishwasher twice a week? I know little old ladies living alone who run their dishwashers more than that. I would be grossed out having dirty dishes sitting around in my dishwasher for days. Did you get ants? If not, you were very lucky OR you were using paper plates.

I think at some point, you just learn to let some things slide. Like you said, you cook one big meal and then eat off the leftovers for a couple of days. Maybe you use paper plates. [/quot

Lol. I am the PP you quoted. Yes, I had 3 large loads per week. Still do (colors, whites, linens/towels). But I was doing it every day when I had one kid till someone (my MIL of all ppl who was not a great mom but was a great homemaker) gave me some advice on efficiency. She was poor much of her life so she reduced things like washing dishes, clothes from a cost perspective, but the result is the same. fewer dishes = less work = smaller water bill = 10 more mins with baby. It is really about watching what you're doing. Eventually it becomes habit and you no longer think about it. We dont have ants because I prewash everything I stick in the D/W. We also live in a warm climate so I would feed the kids bkfast/lunch on the deck most days so that also reduced sweeping work.

Anyway, non sequitur. But my overall feeling is that OP is spending too much time on unnecessary stuff that she could use to prep a few meals.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 22:09     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Ok, I'm not going to get into the whole debate about a SAHM's workload or whether it's harder than it was 10n years ago. Admittedly, my only experience with SAHM-ing is from my maternity leaves.

My issue with OP's attitude is the whole "I'll take care of me, to hell with him" approach. That just isn't conducive to a happy marriage - whichever side it comes from! With one or more small child(ren), every adult in the household is going to be doing more than they used to. Every adult feels as though they've taken on 150% ... and they are usually all right. There just isn't time for inefficiencies - you need to learn to work together if you are going to survive.

Each person doing their own shopping and cooking? It just isn't efficient. Those kinds of efforts need to be combined. Fending for yourselves just doesn't work anymore. Throwing a patato in the oven for yourself? Add and extra one for your husband ... or better yet, add 3 or 4 extra for leftovers the rest of the week. Trust me, learning to be efficient is well worth the effort.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 22:08     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah no one cares what people did in the 1950s or alternatively in 2006

All that matters is that people agree OP's husband is a raging c*nt for thinking a SAHP should find 15 minutes out of their entire day to put chicken breasts and BBQ sauce in a slow cooker


And don't forget finding an hour a week to put the baby in a car seat and go to the grocery store. Sheeshh - that's for DH to worry about after commuting home around dinnertime.


Maybe Op takes care of the yardwork and home maintenance items AND all of the housecleaning and laundry. If so, her dh can certainly help out with meal planning/shop/prep. He lives there too.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 21:55     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah no one cares what people did in the 1950s or alternatively in 2006

All that matters is that people agree OP's husband is a raging c*nt for thinking a SAHP should find 15 minutes out of their entire day to put chicken breasts and BBQ sauce in a slow cooker


And don't forget finding an hour a week to put the baby in a car seat and go to the grocery store. Sheeshh - that's for DH to worry about after commuting home around dinnertime.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 21:51     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.


But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.



Np here. Part of this is practice, that is all. I used to SAH and my first year (with one kid only) was tough. I had a hard time stimulating her and cooking and cleaning...after a few years, plus two other kids, I figured out how to be efficient. By the time my youngest was 1, I was down to doing 3 loads of laundry a week, and running the d/w only twice a week. Our house was fairly clean (could be guest ready in 30 mins), and we ate out only once a week. But most of this was learning to be efficient, and reducing the overall workload by being mindful of daily practices. Use one water glass a day. reuse your towel for a week. why change clothes four times a day? That is what those huge ikea bib smocks are for!
OP, we all have stuff we dislike in housework. Figure out how to cook twice a week where you can make leftovers/recycle another two nights worth of dinners and see if DH can do the other three nights.


Eh diapers leak, potty accidents happen. Beds get wet. Little kids like dirt and squishy things. Efficiency only goes so far.

You did a load of laundry every other day? I often did 3 loads in a day and I only have 2 kids. You only ran your dishwasher twice a week? I know little old ladies living alone who run their dishwashers more than that. I would be grossed out having dirty dishes sitting around in my dishwasher for days. Did you get ants? If not, you were very lucky OR you were using paper plates.

I think at some point, you just learn to let some things slide. Like you said, you cook one big meal and then eat off the leftovers for a couple of days. Maybe you use paper plates.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 21:51     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
OMG I missed OPs excuses - she cleans up after the baby, does some laundry and dishes everyday. Honey, that's what almost every mommy in the world does everyday whether they work full time or not, and they still make something called dinner. I'm guessing your bizarre idea of household duties is regrettably modeled after what little your mother did in the home and so you feel like your attitude is normal. But it's not.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 21:37     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.


But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.



Np here. Part of this is practice, that is all. I used to SAH and my first year (with one kid only) was tough. I had a hard time stimulating her and cooking and cleaning...after a few years, plus two other kids, I figured out how to be efficient. By the time my youngest was 1, I was down to doing 3 loads of laundry a week, and running the d/w only twice a week. Our house was fairly clean (could be guest ready in 30 mins), and we ate out only once a week. But most of this was learning to be efficient, and reducing the overall workload by being mindful of daily practices. Use one water glass a day. reuse your towel for a week. why change clothes four times a day? That is what those huge ikea bib smocks are for!
OP, we all have stuff we dislike in housework. Figure out how to cook twice a week where you can make leftovers/recycle another two nights worth of dinners and see if DH can do the other three nights.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 20:14     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless your 12 month old was hurdling baby gates, the point stands


I hate to break it to you but no one cares what either of you did ten years ago...


Ha. To a degree I understand that because when I was in the trenches I heard women swearing up and down that they just popped their baby in a playpen and the baby played happily while they cleaned their house from top to bottom and made a delicious, nutritious meal for their family.

My toddle learned how to climb out of his pack n play when he was 13 months old. I guess it's a good thing I wasn't down in the root cellar reorganizing my preserves and alphabetizing my canned peaches.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 20:08     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
I've been a working parent and a SAHM. I was almost always the cook when I worked and I do feel responsible for having dinner now that I am at home. The nights I am not going to be home for whatever reason I will leave some BBQ in the crock pot etc. DH works long hours at a job he doesn't really like. This allows me to be home, volunteer at school, go to the gym etc. The least I can do is have a plate of spaghetti for the guy when he gets home. It is about being nice to someone.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 20:05     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:Unless your 12 month old was hurdling baby gates, the point stands


I used baby gates to prevent falls down stairs and perhaps prevent my toddlers from getting into the kitchen while I was cooking. But I did not kid myself that I could take my eyes off of them - I couldn't.

I generally got dinner on after the toddler went to bed or while my toddler was sitting in his highchair having a deconstructed meal. You do what you gotta do.

But I didn't have the variety of toddler that would just sit on the floor playing with pots and pans. I also didn't have a multi nap taking toddler. You may have had it easier than you realize. All kids develop differently.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 19:54     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless your 12 month old was hurdling baby gates, the point stands


I hate to break it to you but no one cares what either of you did ten years ago...


Right, because making dinner today is different than it was in 2008, or 2007, or, hell, yesterday or even tonight when I did it.

Lazy OP should continue to cram crackers and a diet coke in her face because WE DONT KNOW HER LIFE. HER PAIN.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 19:47     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.


But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.



And? Nobody is saying that this equates to a days worth of work. You forgot about taking care of the child.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 19:43     Subject: Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism and time management stuff from the sahms is fair. But if your kid is in daycare or you have a nanny, why are you even responding? You've never done it and you can't go back in time and do it. Why is their daily laundry? Well, maybe at your house, laundry isn't done every day, because your nanny is doing your laundry for your child on an as needed basis. In my house, I feed my child between 4 to 5 times per day, and pretty much after every feeding, he needs a change of clothes. Because he's a young child, and he's messy. Combined to that to your husband's daily clothes, my daily clothes, whatever sheets need to be changed out, whatever towels, hand towels, and kitchen towels need to be changed out, and I do a small to medium sized load of laundry every day, even for my small family. Why isn't your dishwasher full at night? Because your child is being fed a daycare. All of the prep for the child's meals, the meals that you eat, the meals that your child eats, none of those dishes are generated at home. Like I said, I think that the stay at home moms have relevant criticisms. If you have outsourced your child care to a nanny, or to a daycare, you simply don't have any idea what you're talking about.


But the point is.. These things don't equate to a day's worth of work. I WAH and can easily manage this before work, or in literally a few minutes during the day. It takes a minute or two to wipe down a bathroom and swish the toilets.clean counters are clean, so a quick wiped own is generally all that's needed. I have A dog that poops her bed at night and can STILL manage several loads of laundry a day without it stressing me out. Dishes are done before work. So is showering, etc. I eat at home, plus make all other meals that need to go elsewhere that day (lunches, etc.) plus my own food for home.

Even so.. Let's call things as they are. Laundry is not a huge undertaking. I often end up with 5-6 loads a day and it does not break my labour budget. It literally takes a few moments to flip loads. Folding takes longer, but it can also wait. Dishes are not magic. Most kitchens have the cupboards above the dishwasher.. So basically you flip stuff up to the cupboard. What does it take if you actually time it? 2 minutes? Same with loading.

If your child needs a change of clothes after every feeding, five times a day, use a bib or tea towel. You are being a masochist and / or wasteful.

I make dinner every night. Sometimes I have a half hour to spare. Some times I don't. So learn how to make meals for time crunches. I can pp together a slow cooker meal with clients on the phone.. I imagine OP can do that with baby playing with pots in the kitchen. I preload my washer at night. I do things to make life more you fight things, the longer they take and the harder they seem.

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 19:39     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Yeah no one cares what people did in the 1950s or alternatively in 2006

All that matters is that people agree OP's husband is a raging c*nt for thinking a SAHP should find 15 minutes out of their entire day to put chicken breasts and BBQ sauce in a slow cooker
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2016 19:36     Subject: Re:Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?
Anonymous wrote:Unless your 12 month old was hurdling baby gates, the point stands


I hate to break it to you but no one cares what either of you did ten years ago...