Yep. It sucks.
Lifetime commitment

No, I really miss having my family. Loved every minute of it. If I could do it again, I would have more kids. I had 2 kids. No grandchildren currently.

It really does suck a lot. Like A LOT.

If I got a do over id only have one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

Your kids are way too young for you to have any perspective on this question. When my son was this age, I was miserable. At some point, they become little people and that's when any real payoff starts. You also get a lot of freedom back.

Yikes, I can still have a perspective, just maybe not yours. And I am sure that my heart will grow with each stage, but the question was posed to parents, and even though my guy is little, I still get to answer. Also, I think its dangerous for parents to tell parents that 'it will get better', because maybe it won't. I love DS, I truly do. But I can already tell that I am different than a lot of Moms of little ones.

Of course you get to answer but what the PP was getting at was you haven't entered the "parenting" stage yet. You're in the "keeping them alive" stage which is totally different. It's physically hard but they have not yet begun to test boundaries, purposely push your buttons, defy your rules, etc. You haven't had to correct them for being mean, or have them say something that hurts you, or embarrass you because they act out when you KNOW THEY KNOW BETTER. It's not that your opinion is invalid, it's just you haven't gotten to te stage where the things that make parenting truly difficult are even happening yet.

New poster, but I disagree. Her perspective is just as valid and for some parents the newborn stage “keeping them alive stage” is very hard and they may find it harder than what you cite as hard. We are all different and what we find challenging is different too.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids, and I'm scared to because I feel like everyone i know who has kids, or writes about having kids, seems to complain constantly about it. It just seems to suck.

Is it really that bad? Or does the good outweigh the bad?

Having children and finding a wonderful wife have been the two best things that ever happened to this Dad.

A prospective parent who is cautious about having kids will usually make a very good parent, because the keys to success are caring and trying to do the right thing. Everyone will have missteps. No one is perfect. The caring parent usually has fewer missteps than others will.

Yes having kids pretty much ruins the life you once had. It’s the biggest vanity project you can undertake, it does not make the world a better place.

The hubris of thinking your DNA must move on even though there are millions of unwanted children around the world. Who cares if our population declines? We are destroying the earth.

No. Who says this?

Anonymous wrote:Yes it sucks. I have 5, they are all amazing humans and I just realized how much having kids actually sucks.

This thread is from 2013....I think Op has figured it out by now.

All adult milestones are double edged swords. Marriage has huge benefits but also requires a lot of patience and compromise, while limiting your freedom and options in real ways. Jobs/careers offer financial stability and social status, but also stress and responsibility. Home ownership can be liberating and comforting, but also a massive pain in the neck.

Parenting is no different but I think offers more rewards than most. I find being a parent to be truly fulfilling in a way that very few jobs, and certainly no house, can ever be. Meaningful on a profound level. Yes it's a huge headache sometimes, but even on my worst day as a parent, I feel this indescribably connection to my child that gives my life shape and purpose. I do think marriage can come close to this if it stands the test of time, but many don't.

With both parenting and marriage, you need to be emotionally mature to get the most out of it.

Not at all. It's hard as hell but so much fun and completely worth it. It probably sucks if you go into it thinking that it will be like taking care of a cat or hamster, but if you're being realistic, then no.

Anonymous wrote:Yes it sucks. I have 5, they are all amazing humans and I just realized how much having kids actually sucks.

It took 5 times to realize that?

Yes it sucks. I have 5, they are all amazing humans and I just realized how much having kids actually sucks.

This is such a dumb question.

It really sucks. But it is also 'rewarding' in the sense that you have boundless love for this little (and eventually big) person. I think you just have to have low expectations honestly. I thought it would be REALLY hard, and it is, so I wasn't surprised.

I do miss, almost daily, my life pre-kids, however.

No, it doesn't. I didn't even really want kids and got pregnant by accident. I love being a mother and it is one of the best things I've ever done that brings me the most joy.