Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 17, a junior in high school, so very busy. I make her breakfast every morning—sometimes hot, sometimes cold. If it's cold, I still get everything ready for her: toast the bread, spread the butter, pour the cereal, etc. Yes, she's an only child.

For lunch, sometimes she just wants a snack, so I put that together for her. Other days she wants a hot lunch, and I make it and have it ready when she leaves. She eats dinner with the family, and I make sure she's fed every night. I also don't purposely make foods I know she doesn't like.

If she's hungry during the day, I'll get a snack ready for her, and I usually have one waiting when she gets home. I also pack extra things for her when needed. I don't see any problem with this. She's a child, and I'm her mother. Taking care of her doesn't mean she "needs to grow up." She doesn't. And before anyone assumes I'm a SAHM, I'm not—though there's absolutely nothing wrong with being one.

People truly need to stop judging.

You seem to have confused "taking care of her" with coddling her absurdly and ensuring she's high maintenance. This would be absurd even for a SAHM, and no, your daughter isn't so busy she can't do this herself. Laughable.

Nope. I’m not coddling her Oe ensuring she’s “high maintenance”. I’m being a parent to a kid.

You sound like you’re being Cadbury the butler. Would the young lady like high tea waiting when she gets home from school as well?
My aunt treated my cousin this way and it contributed to her marriage falling apart later. She expected her husband to wait on her hand and foot the way her mom did. He did for two years or so before putting his foot down.

My kid knows her worth so if she’s high maintenance, what’s inherently wrong with that? She wouldn’t allow anyone to mistreat her.

oh dear. There's a difference between high maintenance and knowing your worth and not allowing anyone to mistreat her.

The way you are raising her, she will expect to be catered to. That's not how a relationship works. Also, men generally don't like high maintenance women.

This could be why you are divorced. You also don't seem to understand how a relationship should work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 17, a junior in high school, so very busy. I make her breakfast every morning—sometimes hot, sometimes cold. If it's cold, I still get everything ready for her: toast the bread, spread the butter, pour the cereal, etc. Yes, she's an only child.

For lunch, sometimes she just wants a snack, so I put that together for her. Other days she wants a hot lunch, and I make it and have it ready when she leaves. She eats dinner with the family, and I make sure she's fed every night. I also don't purposely make foods I know she doesn't like.

If she's hungry during the day, I'll get a snack ready for her, and I usually have one waiting when she gets home. I also pack extra things for her when needed. I don't see any problem with this. She's a child, and I'm her mother. Taking care of her doesn't mean she "needs to grow up." She doesn't. And before anyone assumes I'm a SAHM, I'm not—though there's absolutely nothing wrong with being one.

People truly need to stop judging.

You seem to have confused "taking care of her" with coddling her absurdly and ensuring she's high maintenance. This would be absurd even for a SAHM, and no, your daughter isn't so busy she can't do this herself. Laughable.

Nope. I’m not coddling her Oe ensuring she’s “high maintenance”. I’m being a parent to a kid.

You sound like you’re being Cadbury the butler. Would the young lady like high tea waiting when she gets home from school as well?
My aunt treated my cousin this way and it contributed to her marriage falling apart later. She expected her husband to wait on her hand and foot the way her mom did. He did for two years or so before putting his foot down.

My kid knows her worth so if she’s high maintenance, what’s inherently wrong with that? She wouldn’t allow anyone to mistreat her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report him to cps. If he isn’t making sure she’s eaten, it’s neglect.

Yeah, please run to CPS and tell them that her father provided high-quality, nutritious food and DD just didn't like it. Ask for him to be arrested.

Can you imagine? "CPS? My husband is feeding a 17 year old vegetables!!!! They're yucky in her tummy!"

CPS takes reports way less serious that that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report him to cps. If he isn’t making sure she’s eaten, it’s neglect.

Yeah, please run to CPS and tell them that her father provided high-quality, nutritious food and DD just didn't like it. Ask for him to be arrested.

Can you imagine? "CPS? My husband is feeding a 17 year old vegetables!!!! They're yucky in her tummy!"

Anonymous wrote:If this kid were living in a 2-parent household with other siblings and did not like the family meal that was prepared for everyone and was told to find something else to eat, that would make sense.

It sounds like this is one kid, going to spend time with dad half of the time, so there are two people in the house for dinner. And he routinely makes food she will not eat and then tells her to go make a sandwich. He has to prepare the meal that HE wants, regardless of whether the kid is going to have to go make a sandwich? So he's eating alone and then she's eating alone? This is such a bizarre way to treat your child during your custodial time.

I'm a single mom with one teen DD at home. When she's with me, we have dinners that we both like and we sit down and eat together. It's not hard. I can get my favorite sushi (which she doesn't like) when she's with her dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report him to cps. If he isn’t making sure she’s eaten, it’s neglect.

Yeah, please run to CPS and tell them that her father provided high-quality, nutritious food and DD just didn't like it. Ask for him to be arrested.

Can you imagine? "CPS? My husband is feeding a 17 year old vegetables!!!! They're yucky in her tummy!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report him to cps. If he isn’t making sure she’s eaten, it’s neglect.

Yeah, please run to CPS and tell them that her father provided high-quality, nutritious food and DD just didn't like it. Ask for him to be arrested.

Anonymous wrote:Report him to cps. If he isn’t making sure she’s eaten, it’s neglect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.

We are on a message board chatting away. There is nothing that goes on here that would prevent you from raising your child as you see fit. Go for it!! The problem comes because OP (and others) want DD’s father to change his ways. But he too should be able to raise his child as he sees fit.

I assume people who get super touchy about being judged as parents are people who worry they're making the wrong choice. I'm confident in my parenting decisions, so I don't care that people on DCUM disagree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.

Maybe talk to OP about that? She started an entire thread to judge how someone else is parenting.

That’s different, they’re coparents. Its OPs business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.

We are on a message board chatting away. There is nothing that goes on here that would prevent you from raising your child as you see fit. Go for it!! The problem comes because OP (and others) want DD’s father to change his ways. But he too should be able to raise his child as he sees fit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.

Maybe talk to OP about that? She started an entire thread to judge how someone else is parenting.

That’s different, they’re coparents. Its OPs business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.

Maybe talk to OP about that? She started an entire thread to judge how someone else is parenting.

Anonymous wrote:PP with the 17-year-old only child. We really need to stop being so judgmental and let other people parent their children the way they see fit. The way I parent my daughter does not affect you in any way, shape, or form. If it's working for our family and my child is doing well, I don't see why strangers feel the need to criticize or second-guess our choices.