Anonymous wrote:As the title says: I'm getting married in a few days in it hasn't crossed my mind to keep my surname. We're going to start a family and I'd love all of us to have the same surname, as we're playing for the same team. My soon to be husband is ecstatic as well that I'm taking his surname. I was aware that women with fancy careers or with research published under their names kept their surnames at higher rates as they had build a name under their maiden surname. However, I started noticing a similar trend among women with less public careers and even homemakers who I know for a fact are married. I can't imagine having a different surname than my children, but it looks like some women see nothing wrong with this. Is there a reason for this? Doesn't it cause problems the road? Just asking out of curiosity.

This is a sad troll attempt.

When I got married I happily took my husband's last name, didn't think twice about it. Our child (a boy) has his last name (no hyphens because whyyyyyy??), as I believe, he should. But alas, we divorced after close to two decades later and I went back to my maiden name. Hassle...meh. I go with how I feel at the moment. Paperwork is paperwork. Do what's worth it to YOU to do.

Seriously, you are just plugging things into AI, aren't you? :rolleyes:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

Here are the titles and sources of five academic studies and articles related to family members sharing last names:

1. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" by Hayley Davies, 2011 (SAGE Journals)
2. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" (ResearchGate)
3. "Last name analysis of mobility, gender imbalance, and nepotism across academic systems" (PNAS)
4. "The Power of Naming: Surnames, Children, and Spouses" (Oxford Academic)
5. "A Study of Family Communication & the College Experience" (STARS, University of Central Florida)

These studies explore the implications of shared family last names in various contexts including family dynamics, academic settings, and societal norms.

DP. Did you just google them without reading them? Are you sure they make the point that was asked about for references, or is this some ChatGPT thing where you just spew platitudes like "your insights are helpful" and "these studies 'explore the implications'"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

There's a lot of crap coming out of their nether end. Get more TP!

I have it on good authority that we're now supposed to be exited about getting a bidet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women I know who married in the 90s didn't change their names. It's different if you are getting married after a graduate degree and working for awhile. It's not a new thing.

This. OP has been living in a bunker or something if this seems like a new trend to her.

The trend of women changing their last names after marriage, contrary to the perception that it's a declining practice, remains quite prevalent. A survey by the Pew Research Center found that nearly 80% of American women in opposite-sex marriages opt to take their husband’s last name. This survey highlights that while there is an evolving nature of marriage and a rise in gender equality, the tradition of changing one's last name after marriage continues to persist among a significant majority of American women.

The decision to change a last name is influenced by various factors, including age, education, ethnicity, and personal values. For instance, younger women and those with higher levels of education, particularly postgraduate degrees, are more likely to keep their maiden names. However, this represents a minority compared to the overall trend.

It's important to understand that while individual experiences and anecdotes might suggest a different trend, comprehensive surveys and studies provide a broader and more accurate picture of societal practices and norms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

Here are the titles and sources of five academic studies and articles related to family members sharing last names:

1. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" by Hayley Davies, 2011 (SAGE Journals)
2. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" (ResearchGate)
3. "Last name analysis of mobility, gender imbalance, and nepotism across academic systems" (PNAS)
4. "The Power of Naming: Surnames, Children, and Spouses" (Oxford Academic)
5. "A Study of Family Communication & the College Experience" (STARS, University of Central Florida)

These studies explore the implications of shared family last names in various contexts including family dynamics, academic settings, and societal norms.

Anonymous wrote:Most women I know who married in the 90s didn't change their names. It's different if you are getting married after a graduate degree and working for awhile. It's not a new thing.

This. OP has been living in a bunker or something if this seems like a new trend to her.

Most women I know who married in the 90s didn't change their names. It's different if you are getting married after a graduate degree and working for awhile. It's not a new thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

There's a lot of crap coming out of their nether end. Get more TP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A trend? Most of my friends did not take their husband’s names 20-30 years ago.

It's important not to be deceived by a small sample like your friend group. The overall trend, backed by stats, shows a different story. About 85% of women in recent years have taken their husband's last name. This trend indicates a strong cultural norm and practical ease in adopting the husband's surname, even in more liberal areas like DC. The DCUrbanMom forum might have a vocal left-leaning voice, but it doesn't fully represent the wider societal views, which clearly favor name-taking.

Marriages rates are down and cohabitation is up. It may be that straight women getting married are already more conservative on average than their unmarried straight or married lesbian counterparts.

The drop in marriage rates and the increase in cohabitation don't necessarily mean straight women who get married are more conservative. It's about changing attitudes toward relationships.

Plus, in straight marriages, most women still go for the husband's last name, not just because of tradition, but also because it makes life simpler, like in dealing with schools, travel, and paperwork. This choice isn't so much about conservatism as it is about practicality and ease in daily life.

And even though there are more gay marriages these days, they're still a small percentage compared to straight marriages, so their preferences, like last name changes, don't significantly impact the overall trend.

You sure have a thing for anecdata, eh?

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

If that is so, why does the wife have to change her name and not the husband? 99% of men wouldn’t change their name and that is why I as a woman wouldn’t change mine.

After my father gave my future husband a goat and an acre of land it just made sense to take his last name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed my name because I wanted to have the same name as my children and wanted to be part of the same team as my husband. It seems weird to me when a woman doesn't change her name. It's like she's married but with a foot out of the marriage. It also seems to be disrespectful to her husband. I bet if they married someone they looked up to they would have changed their surname.

That is complete crap.

"Looked up to?!" LOL.