Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 09:15     Subject: Re:Why would he be in a random parking lot?
I find it so weird that people are so freaked out about a spouse checking once in awhile to see location. What are you people doing????

So what if he sees I’m still at the gym or Whole Foods?

We periodically check our youngest teen’s location when he’s out for safety.

These “I’d divorce” if anyone used iPhone locator are weird and suspicious. We both use it occasionally in our house and it’s not a trust issue—it’s we need to be somewhere how far away r u —w/out texting-calling which isn’t good when someone’s driving or when to stick something in the oven.

I gotta think you have something to hide if you are that freaked out in a marriage about this stuff.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 09:11     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you not understand that a call or a text is allowing the person to decide if they want to engage with you or not..... My husband has never declined a text or a call from me and our cars have to capability to answer phones remotely or to talk to text.....
My issue with tracking is you're doing it without their knowledge.... If you said I'm going to track you tonight to see when you're going to be home and he is like okay. Sounds good then. Yeah there's nothing wrong with that but you're just looking up there whereabouts to be nosy which is wrong on so many levels. Can I read my husband's email because I have the password. Yes I can but I never would unless I thought that he was cheating or something was going on. The fact that you think there is no problem with violating privacy is crazy to me and not a relationship I would ever want to be in.... inFact I would feel quite suffocated


DP. You do know how the iPhone family sharing app works, right? No one is “violating” anyone’s privacy. When you turn on the location sharing feature on your iPhone, you are giving your family express permission to see your location. And some of us do this because we *want* our family to know where we are (I know. I know. Crazy concept to some of you). DH and I aren’t using this feature because we want to be “nosy”. We are using it because Larla and Larlo are starving, one of us is on dinner duty, and if we don’t get some semblance of a hot dinner on the table stat, someone is going to die… but swim practice went late. I’m carrying 2 swim bags. 4 fins. 20 pairs of goggles. And a partridge in a pear tree. And I don’t feel like answering my effing phone when DH calls to ask me where I am.


There are like a million other ways to know when your spouse will be home and when to start dinner without tracking them


NP
But that’s the easiest way…. For us. This is a reason that Apple introduced the feature and allows you to individually share it with whomever you’d like and turn it off instantaneously when you wish.

I can call my husband every day to ask him when he’s coming home, and he could say he’s leaving in 10 minutes, but then get caught up and not leave for another 20 minutes or so; or right before I boil the noodles I could glance at my phone to see if he’s 30 minutes away or 5 minutes away.

I do this with my 16yo daughter as well. She has practice that ends at 6:45 instead of bugging her and asking her every 5 min when she’s gotten on the road, I check her location. I can tell if she’s on the lacrosse field, in the school parking lot or driving down the road.


For teen drivers- it’s a safety and piece of mind thing. I also plan dinner —things that don’t work well warmed up later like pasta and noodles, etc.

And my ex cheated and kept his locator on. I was checking to see if he left the office for dinner and such- and he was always running late on Fridays. I’m the one who one time saw his phone showing all the way in MD and we live in VA and then it glitched back to his office. It wasn’t a glitch. He hacked it.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 09:06     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tracking is more manufactured crap that we've been convinced we need like granite countertops and farmhouse sinks


No it’s like an electronic calendar. Necessary? Absolutely not. A useful tool? Yes, on occasion.

And honestly the fact that OP’s husband left his location sharing on makes me think his location is more likely to be innocent. As we have seen in this thread, yes sometimes the cheaters are stupid enough to leave it on. But usually they are not that careless. My husband is very tech savvy and I know he would never share his location if he cheated on me. My looking at his location (which he knows I do) has zero to do with suspicion about cheating.


The real crafty ones leave it on because they know if they suddenly turned it off it would raise suspicion. They do things like leave it at work or in their car while they meet up or they do what the other pps spouse did and “fix” their location thru laptop sp their iPhone locator makes it appear they are somewhere they aren’t- like at work.

There is a whole subculture on Reddit and Medium that advise people how to avoid getting caught and tips for finding APs, flings, etc—using other married people, special ops/mutually assured destruction,

It is gross.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:42     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Same poster

I’ll add that my family and I have a rule that if we receive a call from the other person in the middle of the day, that we answer. And it is likely time-sensitive. When you’re going to be home, is not that important.

My husband is having business-related calls while he’s driving home. Or, he could just be in a position where he does not want to talk or text. (Even voice texting, I tried to tell my 16yo daughter, takes your attention away from the road.)
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:38     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you not understand that a call or a text is allowing the person to decide if they want to engage with you or not..... My husband has never declined a text or a call from me and our cars have to capability to answer phones remotely or to talk to text.....
My issue with tracking is you're doing it without their knowledge.... If you said I'm going to track you tonight to see when you're going to be home and he is like okay. Sounds good then. Yeah there's nothing wrong with that but you're just looking up there whereabouts to be nosy which is wrong on so many levels. Can I read my husband's email because I have the password. Yes I can but I never would unless I thought that he was cheating or something was going on. The fact that you think there is no problem with violating privacy is crazy to me and not a relationship I would ever want to be in.... inFact I would feel quite suffocated


DP. You do know how the iPhone family sharing app works, right? No one is “violating” anyone’s privacy. When you turn on the location sharing feature on your iPhone, you are giving your family express permission to see your location. And some of us do this because we *want* our family to know where we are (I know. I know. Crazy concept to some of you). DH and I aren’t using this feature because we want to be “nosy”. We are using it because Larla and Larlo are starving, one of us is on dinner duty, and if we don’t get some semblance of a hot dinner on the table stat, someone is going to die… but swim practice went late. I’m carrying 2 swim bags. 4 fins. 20 pairs of goggles. And a partridge in a pear tree. And I don’t feel like answering my effing phone when DH calls to ask me where I am.


There are like a million other ways to know when your spouse will be home and when to start dinner without tracking them


NP
But that’s the easiest way…. For us. This is a reason that Apple introduced the feature and allows you to individually share it with whomever you’d like and turn it off instantaneously when you wish.

I can call my husband every day to ask him when he’s coming home, and he could say he’s leaving in 10 minutes, but then get caught up and not leave for another 20 minutes or so; or right before I boil the noodles I could glance at my phone to see if he’s 30 minutes away or 5 minutes away.

I do this with my 16yo daughter as well. She has practice that ends at 6:45 instead of bugging her and asking her every 5 min when she’s gotten on the road, I check her location. I can tell if she’s on the lacrosse field, in the school parking lot or driving down the road.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:30     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever in a position or I feel the need to track my spouse's whereabouts without them knowing, then I feel it's time to bow out of that relationship.


Yep. And if I found my husband was tracking me, it would be a dealbreaker.


That's you. I always felt safer like if something happened to me he could be able to help find out where I went.


So paranoid.


Good grief.


This lady thinks in the very unlikely chance that she’s abducted it’s a good thing to have her husband track her, and she’s not paranoid? Sure.

It's better than the lady who has to check where her husband is so she knows when to put the meatloaf in. 🥴🥴🥴
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:27     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever in a position or I feel the need to track my spouse's whereabouts without them knowing, then I feel it's time to bow out of that relationship.


Yep. And if I found my husband was tracking me, it would be a dealbreaker.


That's you. I always felt safer like if something happened to me he could be able to help find out where I went.


So paranoid.


Good grief.


This lady thinks in the very unlikely chance that she’s abducted it’s a good thing to have her husband track her, and she’s not paranoid? Sure.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:26     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
After devouring a fast food meal, I will often enjoy the solitude of sitting in my car, listening to a sports talk radio station, &—no kidding—exploring DCUM. Sometimes an hour will go by before I get back to reality & go home.

So…your husband might just be decompressing. OR, to see another thing guys do in cars, check out an early scene in the movie “Hall Pass.”
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 08:14     Subject: Re:Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:If he wanted alone time, why would he drive from where he works to random parking lots? Why not just sit in his car where he works?


Yeah, nobody would think that was weird.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 06:48     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Plausible. I sit in my car when I need alone time. Listen to music. Game on my phone. Any odd call records?


Same. It’s the only time I have to myself. I’ve even sat in my driveway for 10+ minutes just to regroup before entering the craziness of a home with young kids.



I would sit in parking lot of job for 10 to 20 mins before driving home.

especially when my wife was drunk and fat and something I wanted to run away from.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 06:46     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:Tracking is more manufactured crap that we've been convinced we need like granite countertops and farmhouse sinks


No it’s like an electronic calendar. Necessary? Absolutely not. A useful tool? Yes, on occasion.

And honestly the fact that OP’s husband left his location sharing on makes me think his location is more likely to be innocent. As we have seen in this thread, yes sometimes the cheaters are stupid enough to leave it on. But usually they are not that careless. My husband is very tech savvy and I know he would never share his location if he cheated on me. My looking at his location (which he knows I do) has zero to do with suspicion about cheating.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 06:43     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Just stop coming to this thread to keep rationalizing your behavior. It is not normal or healthy to have this level of paranoia but you and your husband can have any relationship you want. So if you two want to be tracked then track each other . Honestly none of us care.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 06:39     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever in a position or I feel the need to track my spouse's whereabouts without them knowing, then I feel it's time to bow out of that relationship.


Yep. And if I found my husband was tracking me, it would be a dealbreaker.


That's you. I always felt safer like if something happened to me he could be able to help find out where I went.


So paranoid.


Good grief.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 06:23     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever in a position or I feel the need to track my spouse's whereabouts without them knowing, then I feel it's time to bow out of that relationship.


Yep. And if I found my husband was tracking me, it would be a dealbreaker.


That's you. I always felt safer like if something happened to me he could be able to help find out where I went.


So paranoid.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2023 05:56     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I'm ever in a position or I feel the need to track my spouse's whereabouts without them knowing, then I feel it's time to bow out of that relationship.


Yep. And if I found my husband was tracking me, it would be a dealbreaker.


That's you. I always felt safer like if something happened to me he could be able to help find out where I went.