Anonymous wrote:We are in a fortunate situation financially...never considered private schools to be justified from a Return on Investment, but they do have benefits. If money was a non-issue, would you go private or a W school?

This is like asking if you would rather fly first class or coach.

Anonymous wrote:We are in a fortunate situation financially...never considered private schools to be justified from a Return on Investment, but they do have benefits. If money was a non-issue, would you go private or a W school?

We did it in 2020 during the pandemic and have no intentions of returning. We are not wealthy though so it is a stretch. But the smaller class sizes, one on one relationships with teachers, higher academic standards and culture keep us there.

Anonymous wrote:We are in a fortunate situation financially...never considered private schools to be justified from a Return on Investment, but they do have benefits. If money was a non-issue, would you go private or a W school?

Umm, if you are going to ask this in a public school forum, what you will get is bias confirmation. The wealthy people in this forum are parents of public school children in MCPS. You should ask this in the private school forum - you will get people who have considered this question and made the move and stayed; made the move and returned or decided not to do so. I think you are looking for people to make you feel better about not going to private school. Just have confidence in yourself and your decision - don't be insecure, looking for affirmation from strangers.

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Anonymous wrote:This type of thread is always very triggering to parents who want to pretend they could afford private school but in reality it’s out of reach ($100k/year in post tax dollars for two kids is really tough even for UMC families!), so they spin us all a yarn about why actually public is the exact same or better and it’s not really about the money.

I don’t understand why you won’t just admit to yourself and us that you actually CAN’T afford it, and that’s the real reason. Not math at Wootton or whatever TF you’re trying to convince us of.

The question OP asked was for those of us who can easily afford private. Can’t speak for others, but our decision to send our kids to a W school wasn’t based on money, the cost of private wouldn’t matter to us, we just thought public was a better environment, better opportunities and generally offered a great education. Very happy in MCPS as many other posters here are.

+1 The W school my older kids attended is vastly better than any public or private school I attended growing up in mostly rural areas, and I still have managed to have an excellent career. They both got a great education, and were extremely well-prepared for college.

We significantly over-funded our 529s and could easily afford to send our younger kids to private HS and college without touching any other funds in our brokerage accounts. But why would we? They have friends from Big 3 schools, including ones they met in college, and none of those kids was any better prepared or happier than ours. I also appreciate the confidence that navigating a big school gives kids. The W schools are all in a bubble of wealthy and well-educated parents, but not nearly to the same degree as the local privates.

The basis for you saying it’s vastly better is your secondhand knowledge of your kid’s friends? Critical thinking isn’t your strong suit.

And basic reading comprehension is not yours.

We’ve done both. There’s no real debate.

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Anonymous wrote:This type of thread is always very triggering to parents who want to pretend they could afford private school but in reality it’s out of reach ($100k/year in post tax dollars for two kids is really tough even for UMC families!), so they spin us all a yarn about why actually public is the exact same or better and it’s not really about the money.

I don’t understand why you won’t just admit to yourself and us that you actually CAN’T afford it, and that’s the real reason. Not math at Wootton or whatever TF you’re trying to convince us of.

The question OP asked was for those of us who can easily afford private. Can’t speak for others, but our decision to send our kids to a W school wasn’t based on money, the cost of private wouldn’t matter to us, we just thought public was a better environment, better opportunities and generally offered a great education. Very happy in MCPS as many other posters here are.

+1 The W school my older kids attended is vastly better than any public or private school I attended growing up in mostly rural areas, and I still have managed to have an excellent career. They both got a great education, and were extremely well-prepared for college.

We significantly over-funded our 529s and could easily afford to send our younger kids to private HS and college without touching any other funds in our brokerage accounts. But why would we? They have friends from Big 3 schools, including ones they met in college, and none of those kids was any better prepared or happier than ours. I also appreciate the confidence that navigating a big school gives kids. The W schools are all in a bubble of wealthy and well-educated parents, but not nearly to the same degree as the local privates.

The basis for you saying it’s vastly better is your secondhand knowledge of your kid’s friends? Critical thinking isn’t your strong suit.

And basic reading comprehension is not yours.

I’d probably go private if we made considerably more money than we do, but we wouldn’t be able to make considerably more money without spending many more hours away from our kids. Trade offs. I’m happy with our choices. We’re zoned for Blair, not a W (kids currently much younger).

My husband I think would be philosophically opposed to private no matter how much money we made, though.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like Churchill and Whitman are the stand out of the W schools.

Their wealth certainly stands out. And the poor kids do, too.

We are in a W cluster and pay for private. We value the experience and the ride and aren’t trying to buy an outcome. There is no real debate that the private experience is better. Those that claim so are simply insecure.

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve had this debate (fight) with DH and his parents for years. I prefer the W-school public experience for my privileged kids because DH went to well regarded privates and never learned how to relate to anyone other than UC/UMC people. It’s painful to watch and I don’t want that for my kids.

If you think your kids will be exposed to middle class or lower middle class kids in W schools, you’re delusional.

Why would you want that exposure? Why not be around wealthy high achievers? It will get your kid to think big--like be a CEO not a GS-13.

We have different opinions of what we want for our children. That’s cool. I want my children to be productive contributors to society, not necessarily CEOs. I don’t care for them to chase money unless that’s something they choose. It’s important to me that they get a solid education, know how to figure out how to get what they need (without a ton of coddling and hand holding), and are exposed to a variety of people. Privates are just too small for this. I want their view of the world to include people who struggle, who don’t have it as easy as they do, who don’t fit into the same lawyer, trust fund, real estate box. But also don’t fit in the same smart-kid box. I feel that they get this at our public.

Do I “supplement?” Sure. But I would do that anywhere.

+1

I went to 12 yrs of private school (not around here). I was “gifted”. Graduated 3rd in my HS class. I am now a doctor who works in public health - for the state. I make plenty of money but we are not rolling in it (per DCUM standards) by any means. My work is valuable, and I definitely am fulfilled by what I do. I could be making double (maybe even more than that) in private practice, but that’s not what I want, nor would that hold any true meaning for me. I chose this path - no regrets.

I want my kids also to contribute to society and be happy. Making sh¡t loads of cash is not the endgame for me with regards to my kids. They are both in public and doing well. I have no regrets, nor do I think I am any less of a parent who spends 50K per year on their kids education.

Everyone chooses differently, and that’s ok. But when people come on here and claim that there way is better, or makes them a better parent, or I’m not doing the best for my kids - well, I can’t help them with their problems. That’s their issue (bringing others down to feel better about themselves), not mine.

My Whitman high school graduate and my private high school graduate are both doing well. I learned a lot by experiencing two different MOCO options and despite all the hand wringing, there really are good and bad things about each option. Both of my kids are excelling. Both have some things I wish I changed about their education but they are not so different and their education and life experiences are also not so different.

And of course, both public school and private school parents think their choice was best.

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve had this debate (fight) with DH and his parents for years. I prefer the W-school public experience for my privileged kids because DH went to well regarded privates and never learned how to relate to anyone other than UC/UMC people. It’s painful to watch and I don’t want that for my kids.

If you think your kids will be exposed to middle class or lower middle class kids in W schools, you’re delusional.

Why would you want that exposure? Why not be around wealthy high achievers? It will get your kid to think big--like be a CEO not a GS-13.

We have different opinions of what we want for our children. That’s cool. I want my children to be productive contributors to society, not necessarily CEOs. I don’t care for them to chase money unless that’s something they choose. It’s important to me that they get a solid education, know how to figure out how to get what they need (without a ton of coddling and hand holding), and are exposed to a variety of people. Privates are just too small for this. I want their view of the world to include people who struggle, who don’t have it as easy as they do, who don’t fit into the same lawyer, trust fund, real estate box. But also don’t fit in the same smart-kid box. I feel that they get this at our public.

Do I “supplement?” Sure. But I would do that anywhere.

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Anonymous wrote:Depends. If foreign language or religion was very important, then private. Also private if my kid was average academically.

My kids, one gifted, one pretty average are in private with lots of financial aid. My gifted kid could go anywhere. The small class sizes, accessible teachers, and focus on writing have been fantastic for my average kid.

I honestly don’t get this. My sister and I both tested into gifted programs. We still benefited greatly from small class sizes and particular academic programs.

DP. Gifted students can typically thrive anywhere, though that’s not to say there aren’t advantages to particular situation. I was in public school gifted education and ended up very academic and did a humanities PhD. With my current perspective I can appreciate that private high school could have been an amazing experience for me, had it been in the cards. It wasn’t in the cards and it was fine.

+1
Except my public gifted program was a bit of a joke. I would have also benefited from a larger pool of kids who wanted to learn and came from educated families. I did well with my public education, bit I think I could have benefited greatly from private. Now my gifted kids are in private. Actually there are many gifted children in top privates. Yes, they could go to a good college from a public, but that's not the point for me. As a PP stated the value proposition is not matriculation.

At our private school, my kid had more accommodations (even ones we didn't ask for) than he ever had in public. And it is amazing how organized the school is in providing them. And we never feel like we have to fight for anything...it is all handed to us based on his psycho educational report.

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Anonymous wrote:Depends. If foreign language or religion was very important, then private. Also private if my kid was average academically.

My kids, one gifted, one pretty average are in private with lots of financial aid. My gifted kid could go anywhere. The small class sizes, accessible teachers, and focus on writing have been fantastic for my average kid.

I honestly don’t get this. My sister and I both tested into gifted programs. We still benefited greatly from small class sizes and particular academic programs.

DP. Gifted students can typically thrive anywhere, though that’s not to say there aren’t advantages to particular situation. I was in public school gifted education and ended up very academic and did a humanities PhD. With my current perspective I can appreciate that private high school could have been an amazing experience for me, had it been in the cards. It wasn’t in the cards and it was fine.

+1
Except my public gifted program was a bit of a joke. I would have also benefited from a larger pool of kids who wanted to learn and came from educated families. I did well with my public education, bit I think I could have benefited greatly from private. Now my gifted kids are in private. Actually there are many gifted children in top privates. Yes, they could go to a good college from a public, but that's not the point for me. As a PP stated the value proposition is not matriculation.

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Anonymous wrote:We could have afforded it easily (Biglaw) but I place Trump supporters and (non religious) private school parents living in average or better public school districts in the same category: people whose values I don’t share and who I will have nothing to do with.

The feeling is mutual!! How about that. I have absolutely no respect for families who have wealth and instead of spending it on a good education, they choose multiple homes, trips, etc. We have a net worth of $12M plus $1M annual income, and we have only one home and basic cars. We spent $120K on education last year between my college and HS students. Money well spent and they are great kids with wonderful friends. Wouldn't have it any other way and glad they are away from families like yours!!

+1. I don’t get what the point of this money is, if not for their kids. Famous poster Retired Biglaw Partner loves to brag about how little money he spent on his kids’ education which is just bizarre to me. What on earth was it all for, if not for your kids?

+1
I love watching my kids enjoy their "luxury" education. Seriously, they love learning amd this has continued from early childhood.

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Anonymous wrote:We could have afforded it easily (Biglaw) but I place Trump supporters and (non religious) private school parents living in average or better public school districts in the same category: people whose values I don’t share and who I will have nothing to do with.

The feeling is mutual!! How about that. I have absolutely no respect for families who have wealth and instead of spending it on a good education, they choose multiple homes, trips, etc. We have a net worth of $12M plus $1M annual income, and we have only one home and basic cars. We spent $120K on education last year between my college and HS students. Money well spent and they are great kids with wonderful friends. Wouldn't have it any other way and glad they are away from families like yours!!

+1. I don’t get what the point of this money is, if not for their kids. Famous poster Retired Biglaw Partner loves to brag about how little money he spent on his kids’ education which is just bizarre to me. What on earth was it all for, if not for your kids?

Lol I didn’t know I was famous!

My kids went to top ranked public schools, UVA, and top ranked LACs on merit aid. They all have masters degrees, good and productive jobs, and nice spouses. I covered the house in the nice suburb where there schools were located, paid for college, paid for beautiful weddings, provided down payments for houses, have a vacation home that they enjoy immensely, and between my spouse and me in my early retirement have provided them with so much free and loving childcare that they literally have never had to spend a dime on it themselves.

Yes, you’re right - I didn’t spend hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to keep them away from the great unwashed with a single-eyed drive to get them into an expensive named-brand college that impressed my friends and looked good on a bumper sticker. I knew enough all along to know that, in the end, it would amount to nothing.

If that’s your definition of not “doing it all for the kids,” then I’m guilty as charged. But I’m pretty confident I’d be acquitted if any of them were on your jury.

People like PP show that public school parents can be just as insufferable and out of touch as private school parents. This guy actually thinks his kids didn’t grow up (and continue to be coddled!) in a privileged bubble just because he sent them to public school in some (historically redlined no doubt) wealthy neighborhood. Get over yourself, biglaw creep.

Jealousy is not cute

Where’s the jealousy? It’s criticism of an out of touch hypocrite.