Anonymous wrote:Traditional marriages are better in every way.

For men yes.

Traditional marriages are better in every way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse can’t fill all of your emotional needs and that’s okay.

This! Both partners need outside friends and interests. And it’s okay to have an inner life of your own that your partner isn’t privy to. We don’t give up our individual identities and minds when we pair up.

+1

I was really down during the pandemic & when I started to see friends in-person again, it made a HUGE difference in my state of being. Friendship is crucial for both spouses.

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse can’t fill all of your emotional needs and that’s okay.

This! Both partners need outside friends and interests. And it’s okay to have an inner life of your own that your partner isn’t privy to. We don’t give up our individual identities and minds when we pair up.

I am convinced that there is a small group of posters on DCUM who always post about divorce and the impact on children and they fall into two categories

1) Adult children of divorce who had an extremely bad experience and believe that all children must have the same experience that they did, despite the fact that evidence overwhelmingly shows that impacts vary widely among children, with some children showing virtually no difference from other kids (See the recent Atlantic article showing that recent data show that previous studies overstated the impact on children)

2) Unhappily married women who justify staying in their horrible marriages by saying how bad divorce is for children because it makes them feel better

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think blending families post divorce is a disservice to kids, pretty much unilaterally.

-divorced parent with kids.

+1000000000000

+2M

I don't know any blended family whos kids are not messed up.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce crushes children. Way too many people get divorced who could instead build a more satisfying marriage if they were less selfish, challenged their belief systems, and put in the work.

Eh. I don’t disagree that many people divorce before really trying to resolve their differences. But I also know plenty of couples who can’t stand each other yet stay together for the kids, under the delusion that being revised by miserably-married parents is healthy for kids. It’s not - especially not when parents then split as soon as the kids leave for college.

So maybe my follow up is that if you’re going to stay in your lousy marriage “for the kids,” you stay in it for the long haul and suck it up. The stability you think matters to them when they’re under your roof doesn’t become that much less important once they grow up. Don’t divorce when your kids are adults and assume there will be no fall out.