h

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

You know, most children come home at 2 or 3pm from school: are they supposed to play video games or not do any after school activities? Most jobs require overtime, including low paying. And it's hard to go back into job market after employment gap. But in general as a SAHM who worked part time I agree there is no point to stay at home 100%

To me it's much more enjoyable to be in the office now vs being SAHM. And WAY easier. Particular when there are several kids each with their own interests and after school activities and you feel like a free driver without any life of your own

Yes, I do know. I am a working mother. My son never got out of school at 2pm, and he was in an aftercare program when his school day was done. I adjusted my work schedule so that I could pick him up every day while he was in elementary school. I never had an employment gap, my ex-husband and I both worked. I couldn't imagine just being home all day not working or engaging with other people. Where is the fulfillment in that?

If you have kids in travel sports you can't just offload them in daycare. I was engaging with coaches, other parents when I had to be around for my child's training after school. But it's what both of us agreed and a luxury for most

Travel sports as you say are a luxury, and most of us would agree an unnecessary one. But why on earth did you see "engaging with coaches and other parents" a viable use of your time? It wasn't as important as you thought it was. It would have been smarter for you to stay engaged in the workforce, or at the very least have some kind of needlepoint shop on Etsy or something.

Your condescending ass got owned in the next post, was amusing to see

Ooooh, BURN. You sure showed me. Boy was my face red after your scolding. PP didn't mention her little part-time RE management gig in her initial post. She was mostly telling off working parents for "offloading kids in daycare" and her superior need for her to tell the coaches what their job needed to be for Brayden , Jayden and Caden to excel at lacross. Even she agreed it was a luxury the lower classes wouldn't enjoy.

But thanks for your input!

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Uh, you don’t need to cook an “impressive” meal for kids. I don’t cook “impressive” for myself. I cook nutritious meals using fresh meat and veggies. That is both necessary and sufficient.

Putting away a load of clothes from the dryer takes me five minutes. If it takes you 45 minutes, you’re not at all impressive at putting away clothes.

I do all that other stuff as well. As I said, not an 8 hour full time job.

NP. I’m a work outside home mom, and I am pretty efficient in what I do. Your times are crazy for these activities. Meals take only 15 minutes and folding and putting clothes away only 5? Something isn’t adding up. I don’t buy it and it has nothing to do with SAHM comment.

BTW, one of the reasons I work is because I think being a SAHM is one of the toughest job around. They deserve their compensation. Your whole comment is not believable.

(shrug) I work full time, run my own house by myself, and do every important parenting task for two kids. I know for a fact that in my case, the parenting stuff is not 8 hours a day because it can't be. If it's taking you more time than that, then you're inventing tasks that don't actually need to be done. And it's really not that challenging. Oh yeah, my mom also raised two kids by herself while working 50-60 hour weeks. She got everything done with even less "time at home" than I have.

Ultimately, of course, I don't care if you believe me or not.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Bingo. If it f4cks, floats or flies---rent, never buy.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Uh, you don’t need to cook an “impressive” meal for kids. I don’t cook “impressive” for myself. I cook nutritious meals using fresh meat and veggies. That is both necessary and sufficient.

Putting away a load of clothes from the dryer takes me five minutes. If it takes you 45 minutes, you’re not at all impressive at putting away clothes.

I do all that other stuff as well. As I said, not an 8 hour full time job.

NP. I’m a work outside home mom, and I am pretty efficient in what I do. Your times are crazy for these activities. Meals take only 15 minutes and folding and putting clothes away only 5? Something isn’t adding up. I don’t buy it and it has nothing to do with SAHM comment.

BTW, one of the reasons I work is because I think being a SAHM is one of the toughest job around. They deserve their compensation. Your whole comment is not believable.

Nice try but none of the articles you posted support your close minded, ignorant response to the PP.

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Yes, they are. After my divorce I went to office. My exH refused to drive children around for activities: chess was dropped, online math classes dropped, swim team dropped; summer hikes and family fishing trips dropped. Kids are whole day on screens when on their 50% at dad's house.

When my teens are at my place, I try to take them to gym in the evenings on free passes, biking, we cook together and they know NY Times recipes, they garden, paint fence, change locks and even cemented the brick chimney on the roof under my supervision.

I bet these "single dads" are just the same: their kids are left for the day with screens, end of parenting.

Lazy Father here. I do ALL the scheduling of kid doctor/dentist appointments, I take them to the appointments, I schedule all extracurriculars, pay for them, and take kids to them, I pay for summer camps and take kids to them, I cook for my kids and do their laundry, I help with homework and arrange tutors as necessary, in the evening I take them to the gym, and many other things besides. I fully expect that the entire college search and application process will be on me. The sole parenting activity my XW does is pick them up from school three days a week when school is in session. She refused to take kids to any extracurriculars, as her view was that since I had arranged the activity it was 100% my job to take the kids to it. If not for me, music lessons would certainly have been dropped. Kids are on their screens at mom's house, no active parenting. And oh by the way, I also work full time.

Crappy uninvolved parents come in both genders.

But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels.

Another "lazy" dad here. I did/do all of the above as well. Just b/c you had a sh*tty husband that didn't carry his weight, doesn't mean you can apply that experience to the "entire" US. There are just as many lazy mom's out there. Get a grip

It's not about being lazy. It's about specific skills with parenting. There just aren't that many fathers that do this stuff compared to women. Those are just facts. It's like STEM careers. Women aren't doing nothing just because they aren't going into STEM and men aren't doing nothing just becuase they aren't teachers. There just aren't a lot of Mr. Moms out there.

Ok. Show us the data (i.e. facts)

I feel like just the fact that we have a history of humanity all across the world now for at least 10,000 years should be enough, but sure. Really though if you google what men do best as adults or what women do best as adults or something like that probably 1000 links will pop up. There is also the famous study Jordan Peterson likes to quote about how the more egalitarian a society is, the more gender roles are emphasized. I don't know the study but he talks about that often if you just do a google search on it.

A 74% response rate was achieved, and 1049 respondents were academic physicians. Women were more likely than men to have spouses or domestic partners who were employed full-time (85.6% [95% CI, 82.7% to 89.2%] vs. 44.9% [CI, 40.8% to 49.8%]). Among married or partnered respondents with children, after adjustment for work hours, spousal employment, and other factors, women spent 8.5 more hours per week on domestic activities. In the subgroup with spouses or domestic partners who were employed full-time, women were more likely to take time off during disruptions of usual child care arrangements than men (42.6% [CI, 36.6% to 49.0%] vs. 12.4% [CI, 5.4% to 19.5%]).

The traditional family unit, headed by a breadwinning husband and stay-at-home wife, now characterizes a minority of American households (1). Women have entered the workforce in large numbers over the past few decades, and family structures are considerably more varied than in the past. In families headed by a married couple, responsibility for parenting and domestic activities has been more evenly divided (2). Nevertheless, women in the general population still spend more time on parenting and housework than men (3). Scholars have noted that this may reflect rational economic calculations in the face of a market that still pays men more than women (4), or it may be driven by deeper sociocultural barriers to changes in traditional gender roles (5).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4131769/


More Data on the Extent of Fatherlessness
An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father.
Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010.
Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers.
Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Table 1. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, DC: U.S. Dept of Education, National Center of Education Statistics, 2001.
57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.
Source: Family Structure and Children’s Living Arrangements 2012. Current Population Report. U.S. Census Bureau July 1, 2012.
According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America.
Source: National Center for Fathering, Fathering in America Poll, January, 1999.
With the increasing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate, the proportion of children living with just one parent rose from 9.1% in 1960 to 20.7% in 2012. Currently, 55.1% of all black children, 31.1% of all Hispanic children, and 20.7% of all white children are living in single-parent homes.
Source: U.S. Census Bureau. “Living Arrangements of Children Under 18 Years Old: 1960 to Present”. U.S. Census Bureau July 1, 2012.
https://fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-extent-of-fatherlessness/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Search%20-%20Fatherlessness%20Research%20-%20US&gclid=CjwKCAjw3K2XBhAzEiwAmmgrAk-5ZDHy7MDoLypg57yfnKdWUt8kvpya4sxQeSEH8nckfOBBKY0UpRoCs6sQAvD_BwE

What The Science Says
Researchers at Rockefeller University in New York discovered a single gene in mice that could be responsible for maternal behavior. When they suppressed the gene, the mama mice spent less time licking, nurturing and caring for their young.

Does this gene also apply to humans? The researchers think it could. “Mice and women express different versions of these receptors, and it is hypothesized that different versions are associated with different maternal capacities,” said lead researcher Ana Ribeiro. “There is also evidence from mice that there are modifications that occur in young pups that determine what type of mother a female pup will become.”

But until research is conducted on humans, the mom gene remains the domain of rodents.
https://www.thetot.com/mama/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-mom-gene/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-sex-and-babies/201109/is-there-mommy-gene

https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/mental-health/mothers-are-not-naturally-better-at-multitasking/

This new research follows a 2011 study in the American Sociological Review which found that working mothers multitask about 10 hours more per week than working fathers do, and that the labor we're doing while multitasking is more intensive and stressful than the multitasking men take on.

"When they multitask at home, for example, mothers are more likely than fathers to engage in housework or childcare activities, which are usually labor intensive efforts," Shira Offer, the lead author of the study said when it was released.

She continued: "Fathers, by contrast, tend to engage in other types of activities when they multitask at home, such as talking to a third person or engaging in self-care. These are less burdensome experiences."

Interestingly, Offer and her colleagues found that for dads, this less demanding form of multitasking is a positive experience, but for moms, multitasking is a negative one: It makes them feel stressed and conflicted.


Maybe that's because, for fathers, multitasking momentarily does make them feel like a superhero, but for mothers—who are expected to be multitasking superheroes—it just makes us feel like failures.

Offer believes more flexible workplaces would benefit mothers by benefiting fathers: If more dads could start work later or leave early when they need to, Offer believes it would lead to more "egalitarian norms regarding mothers' and fathers' parenting roles."

The hard truth is, women and men perform equally poorly when multitasking, but women are doing more of it and are more stressed by it.


https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1747021820960707


There is a widespread stereotype that women are better at multitasking. Previous studies examining gender difference in multitasking used either a concurrent or sequential multitasking paradigm and offered mixed results. This study examined a possibility that men were better at concurrent multitasking while women were better at task switching. In addition, men and women were also compared in terms of multitasking experience, measured by a computer monitoring software, a self-reported Media Use Questionnaire, a laboratory task-switching paradigm, and a self-reported Multitasking Prevalence Inventory. Results showed a smaller concurrent multitasking (dual-task) cost for men than women and no gender difference in sequential multitasking (task-switching) cost. Men had more experience in multitasking involving video games while women were more experienced in multitasking involving music, instant messaging, and web surfing. The gender difference in dual-task performance, however, was not mediated by the gender differences in multitasking experience but completely explained by difference in the processing speed. The findings suggest that men have an advantage in concurrent multitasking, which may be a result of the individual differences in cognitive abilities.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1747021820960707

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Yes, they are. After my divorce I went to office. My exH refused to drive children around for activities: chess was dropped, online math classes dropped, swim team dropped; summer hikes and family fishing trips dropped. Kids are whole day on screens when on their 50% at dad's house.

When my teens are at my place, I try to take them to gym in the evenings on free passes, biking, we cook together and they know NY Times recipes, they garden, paint fence, change locks and even cemented the brick chimney on the roof under my supervision.

I bet these "single dads" are just the same: their kids are left for the day with screens, end of parenting.

Lazy Father here. I do ALL the scheduling of kid doctor/dentist appointments, I take them to the appointments, I schedule all extracurriculars, pay for them, and take kids to them, I pay for summer camps and take kids to them, I cook for my kids and do their laundry, I help with homework and arrange tutors as necessary, in the evening I take them to the gym, and many other things besides. I fully expect that the entire college search and application process will be on me. The sole parenting activity my XW does is pick them up from school three days a week when school is in session. She refused to take kids to any extracurriculars, as her view was that since I had arranged the activity it was 100% my job to take the kids to it. If not for me, music lessons would certainly have been dropped. Kids are on their screens at mom's house, no active parenting. And oh by the way, I also work full time.

Crappy uninvolved parents come in both genders.

But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels.

Another "lazy" dad here. I did/do all of the above as well. Just b/c you had a sh*tty husband that didn't carry his weight, doesn't mean you can apply that experience to the "entire" US. There are just as many lazy mom's out there. Get a grip

It's not about being lazy. It's about specific skills with parenting. There just aren't that many fathers that do this stuff compared to women. Those are just facts. It's like STEM careers. Women aren't doing nothing just because they aren't going into STEM and men aren't doing nothing just becuase they aren't teachers. There just aren't a lot of Mr. Moms out there.

Ok. Show us the data (i.e. facts)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Yes, they are. After my divorce I went to office. My exH refused to drive children around for activities: chess was dropped, online math classes dropped, swim team dropped; summer hikes and family fishing trips dropped. Kids are whole day on screens when on their 50% at dad's house.

When my teens are at my place, I try to take them to gym in the evenings on free passes, biking, we cook together and they know NY Times recipes, they garden, paint fence, change locks and even cemented the brick chimney on the roof under my supervision.

I bet these "single dads" are just the same: their kids are left for the day with screens, end of parenting.

Lazy Father here. I do ALL the scheduling of kid doctor/dentist appointments, I take them to the appointments, I schedule all extracurriculars, pay for them, and take kids to them, I pay for summer camps and take kids to them, I cook for my kids and do their laundry, I help with homework and arrange tutors as necessary, in the evening I take them to the gym, and many other things besides. I fully expect that the entire college search and application process will be on me. The sole parenting activity my XW does is pick them up from school three days a week when school is in session. She refused to take kids to any extracurriculars, as her view was that since I had arranged the activity it was 100% my job to take the kids to it. If not for me, music lessons would certainly have been dropped. Kids are on their screens at mom's house, no active parenting. And oh by the way, I also work full time.

Crappy uninvolved parents come in both genders.

But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels.

Another "lazy" dad here. I did/do all of the above as well. Just b/c you had a sh*tty husband that didn't carry his weight, doesn't mean you can apply that experience to the "entire" US. There are just as many lazy mom's out there. Get a grip

It's not about being lazy. It's about specific skills with parenting. There just aren't that many fathers that do this stuff compared to women. Those are just facts. It's like STEM careers. Women aren't doing nothing just because they aren't going into STEM and men aren't doing nothing just becuase they aren't teachers. There just aren't a lot of Mr. Moms out there.

OP- I am a family law attorney. Its really hard to predict because there may be compelling facts that would make it higher or lower. but my general rule of thumb is that the temporary guidelines are on the high side of reasonable in relation to the final support award. the differentiating factor is the judge you pull. it's a crapshoot. but, I'm not sure why you aren't asking your attorney.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Yes, they are. After my divorce I went to office. My exH refused to drive children around for activities: chess was dropped, online math classes dropped, swim team dropped; summer hikes and family fishing trips dropped. Kids are whole day on screens when on their 50% at dad's house.

When my teens are at my place, I try to take them to gym in the evenings on free passes, biking, we cook together and they know NY Times recipes, they garden, paint fence, change locks and even cemented the brick chimney on the roof under my supervision.

I bet these "single dads" are just the same: their kids are left for the day with screens, end of parenting.

Lazy Father here. I do ALL the scheduling of kid doctor/dentist appointments, I take them to the appointments, I schedule all extracurriculars, pay for them, and take kids to them, I pay for summer camps and take kids to them, I cook for my kids and do their laundry, I help with homework and arrange tutors as necessary, in the evening I take them to the gym, and many other things besides. I fully expect that the entire college search and application process will be on me. The sole parenting activity my XW does is pick them up from school three days a week when school is in session. She refused to take kids to any extracurriculars, as her view was that since I had arranged the activity it was 100% my job to take the kids to it. If not for me, music lessons would certainly have been dropped. Kids are on their screens at mom's house, no active parenting. And oh by the way, I also work full time.

Crappy uninvolved parents come in both genders.

But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels.

Another "lazy" dad here. I did/do all of the above as well. Just b/c you had a sh*tty husband that didn't carry his weight, doesn't mean you can apply that experience to the "entire" US. There are just as many lazy mom's out there. Get a grip

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Uh, you don’t need to cook an “impressive” meal for kids. I don’t cook “impressive” for myself. I cook nutritious meals using fresh meat and veggies. That is both necessary and sufficient.

Putting away a load of clothes from the dryer takes me five minutes. If it takes you 45 minutes, you’re not at all impressive at putting away clothes.

I do all that other stuff as well. As I said, not an 8 hour full time job.

Please upload video of you folding and then putting away in multiple locations in the house a full load of laundry in under 5 minutes. Or maybe you have one of those tiny under the counter washers?

I am in a 5 bedroom double storey house and it takes me 5 minutes to fold and put away. I literally cannot understand how it is taking you so long.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Uh, you don’t need to cook an “impressive” meal for kids. I don’t cook “impressive” for myself. I cook nutritious meals using fresh meat and veggies. That is both necessary and sufficient.

Putting away a load of clothes from the dryer takes me five minutes. If it takes you 45 minutes, you’re not at all impressive at putting away clothes.

I do all that other stuff as well. As I said, not an 8 hour full time job.

Please upload video of you folding and then putting away in multiple locations in the house a full load of laundry in under 5 minutes. Or maybe you have one of those tiny under the counter washers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

I've written this before and been shouted at here. I've been a single dad for nearly a decade. Daily cooking and cleaning with teenagers around is at most 90 minutes a day, probably less. Might have to catch up a bit on the weekend with some laundry or vacuuming. No maid or cook in my home, or grocery delivery or lawn service.

There is no way. What do you kids do? Just eat the same food and clothes? Do they do sports or other activities with uniforms? Do you order food already packaged? Laundry alone takes me about 60 minutes a day. Maybe it's not just me, but it takes 60 minutes of actual work. Gathering the clothes, running the wash, running the dryer, folding, and putting away. 60 minutes easily 1 load. Meals another 45 minutes between food prep serving, and cleaning up. Plus time to eat and shop.

Different PP single dad. No way in hell does laundry take 60 minutes a day. Are you standing there watching the clothes tumble in the dryer like Rain Man or something? Each bedroom has a laundry basket, you take it to the washing machine and put them in, that's a couple of minutes tops. Less than a minute to put them in the dryer. Then five minutes to put them away (if it's a teenager they should do this not you). I don't even run a laundry load every day, two kids and I don't generate that many dirty clothes. And yes both my kids do sports.

I cook meals for everyone and that might take 15 minutes per meal.

Do vacuuming and dusting and yard work on the weekends.

This is not an "8 hour a day full-time job".

If you spend 15 minutes on a meal, you’re not a great cook. Sure, you can feed people, but it’s not going to be unimpressive.
If you’re a sahm, kids are there ALL day- which means, you don’t just vacuum and clean on weekends (or you’re a slob).
It’s never 5 minutes to fold and put away for a family of 4. I’ve timed it many times. More like 45 minutes just for 4. Teens can do it themselves, but most women are not sahm of just 2 teens- and if they are, they’ve put in years of pregnancy and childcare while you were bolstering your career.

But most sahm I know don’t spend most of their time on household chores. They are reading to kids, tutoring, chauffeuring to multiple activities, teaching children to cook/clean/garden, enforcing rules, TALKING (emotionally supporting) the children, taking them to playgrounds and play dates, doing all errands -grocery store 1 and 2, dry cleaners, car maintenance, dentist apps, doctor apps, etc.

My impression of men who aren’t impressed with their sahm? THEY are disconnected and lazy fathers.

Yes, they are. After my divorce I went to office. My exH refused to drive children around for activities: chess was dropped, online math classes dropped, swim team dropped; summer hikes and family fishing trips dropped. Kids are whole day on screens when on their 50% at dad's house.

When my teens are at my place, I try to take them to gym in the evenings on free passes, biking, we cook together and they know NY Times recipes, they garden, paint fence, change locks and even cemented the brick chimney on the roof under my supervision.

I bet these "single dads" are just the same: their kids are left for the day with screens, end of parenting.

Lazy Father here. I do ALL the scheduling of kid doctor/dentist appointments, I take them to the appointments, I schedule all extracurriculars, pay for them, and take kids to them, I pay for summer camps and take kids to them, I cook for my kids and do their laundry, I help with homework and arrange tutors as necessary, in the evening I take them to the gym, and many other things besides. I fully expect that the entire college search and application process will be on me. The sole parenting activity my XW does is pick them up from school three days a week when school is in session. She refused to take kids to any extracurriculars, as her view was that since I had arranged the activity it was 100% my job to take the kids to it. If not for me, music lessons would certainly have been dropped. Kids are on their screens at mom's house, no active parenting. And oh by the way, I also work full time.

Crappy uninvolved parents come in both genders.

But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

People always say this. How you you say it with a straight face, when SAHMs get alimony, while WOHMs (who statistically do many of the things SAHMs do, while also working) get nothing?

Exactly. Once the child is in school what's the purpose of a woman staying home all day? To cook and clean? I don't get it, it just sounds like pure laziness to me. It's all good until the husband leaves or wants a divorce and then they complain about not having a career. Smh.

You know, most children come home at 2 or 3pm from school: are they supposed to play video games or not do any after school activities? Most jobs require overtime, including low paying. And it's hard to go back into job market after employment gap. But in general as a SAHM who worked part time I agree there is no point to stay at home 100%

To me it's much more enjoyable to be in the office now vs being SAHM. And WAY easier. Particular when there are several kids each with their own interests and after school activities and you feel like a free driver without any life of your own

Yes, I do know. I am a working mother. My son never got out of school at 2pm, and he was in an aftercare program when his school day was done. I adjusted my work schedule so that I could pick him up every day while he was in elementary school. I never had an employment gap, my ex-husband and I both worked. I couldn't imagine just being home all day not working or engaging with other people. Where is the fulfillment in that?

If you have kids in travel sports you can't just offload them in daycare. I was engaging with coaches, other parents when I had to be around for my child's training after school. But it's what both of us agreed and a luxury for most

Just say you've enjoyed not working full-time, sis. It's ok. Tons of working moms have kids in travel sports. Like literally, I'm sure the majority of moms who have kids in travel sports work. So please...

She said she worked bro...