My recovery was rough. Painful, couldn't walk up steps, couldn't drive. And I have never had abs since then. My stomach is flabby and kind of misshapen. Is that worse than a misshapen vagina? I'm not sure. But c sections are not easy or fun.

I kind of feel questions like these perfectly illustrate why maternal mortality is so high in a country like ours.

I had an emergency c-section. It was a bit scary but I think if you plan a c-section it might be fine. I healed pretty nicely and quickly. I think if you are someone who doesn't recover from surgery well, it might be a bigger challenge.

OP. I can't believe this thread was dug up after almost an entire year! Thought I'd give an update what happened to me after posting this.

Ended up developing Pre-E at 33 weeks and was hospitalized. 2 days on Magnesium while they gave me steroids to develop DC's lungs, couldn't get out of bed, sh!tting myself constantly. 3 addition days of 3 failed inductions, still on magnesium, still crapping myself, swelled up with about 40 pounds of water weight, totally delirious, no food, no sleep because they were running in the room every 20 minutes when my blood pressure went out of control.

F*ckers pressured me the entire 5 days to deliver vaginally. Said it was "better", couldn't give me any reasons WHY it was better. After the inductions failed they wanted to break my waters as a last resort. Epidural had worn off, nothing they could do for pain, I hadn't slept or eaten in 5 days.

I told them to f*** off with that crap and give me the damn c section. Best decision of my life. I slept during the whole thing, zero complications, hurt for about a day but by day 5 I was running up and down the stairs again.

My only regret was not getting a c sec for my first kid. It was a breeze, WAY better than giving birth vaginally.

No more kids for me, but if I did, I'd 100% do a c section again.

The posts about duolas are funny to me because one of the most lazy, narcissitc women I know decided to become a doula as her third career. I could not imagine anyone I would want less at a birth. But I think there are few barriers to entry so it’s great for a snake oil salesman that does not want to open a book.
I’m sure there are great duolas too — but not clear there’s a way to filter for those.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads. Another way to try to make a new mom feel like crap about herself.

3 sections, one emergent after developing HELLP (which sent my baby into huge decells before doula lady gets on me for not being strong enough or doula-ed up enough to give birth to my four pound baby vaginally)

The next two were ENTIRELY elective and if I had it all to do over again they would all have been elective c sections. I recovered quickly and easily each time. My mom needed to have major reconstructive pelvic surgery after vaginally delivering four babies. I have avoided that!

If I had one wish for the women facing pregnancy/childbirth /young childhood rearing it would be to say that you can do your best, do what you want, and if you love your baby, take care of yourself and provide food and shelter and warmth and love that everything is going to be ok and all these incredibly stupid culture wars will be a distant memory. Never let any militant 'side' convince you to override your own best interests.

It doesn't matter how the baby got here. It doesn't matter. It's not a contest. You're not winning. The only thing we're trying to do is keep as many moms and babies alive as possible Childbirth is dangerous and painful. Do what is best for you.

+1 there's no "problem" with C-sections. My mom had one to have me, I had two to have my kids. Happy we are all here and alive and healthy.

2 planned c-sections. 1 smooth but the other not so much. It’s major surgery with risk. Physical recovery from both c-sections was easy and painless. Had to have extensive therapy from my second surgery.

I had 2 vaginal births. The first one really sucked, and had to be sped up with pitocin and it sucked and epidural didn't fully work. The second one the epidural worked, and went smoothly and pretty quickly. There was a chance, due to low-lying placenta, that I'd need a c-section with #2, so I was researching it frantically then.

Here's my (non-medical professional) take, after reading a bunch of summaries and random papers.

The literature about C-sections seems to be: once you've had a c-section, being able to have a vaginal birth is much less likely, even if you'd like one. It seems that it increases the risk of placental issues, especially past the 4th or 5th child.
With the allergies and micro-biome stuff. To me, it's probably true; but the effect is not large enough to justify not doing a medically-indicated C-section, obviously.

The association between auto-immune disease and c-sections seems to be borne out in the literature, at least to degree that my bias is that it's generally true. The association isn't strong enough to warrant prohibiting all c-sections, but other things equal to me would be enough to choose vaginal as default, especially given the availability of the epidural. Similarly my bias is also that breast-feeding, other things equal, does confer greater immunity and protection from the same. Does it mean one should make blanket statements about ALWAYS BREASTFEED/ ALWAYS VAGINALLY DELIVER? No! The first priority is life and well-being of mother and baby - survival and health, but after that it's worth considering these subtler effects which are also hard to tease out in a study in a heterogeneous population, but intuitively seem to make sense.

Yep, everyone who had a planned c-section took the easy way out. That’s the desired answer here, right? My baby was breech, so it was planned, I wasn’t lazy. Did all the cr@p I *had to do* - acupuncture, chiropractic, several painful unsuccessful ECV attempts. The procedure went great. I had horrible, unplanned complications weeks later. So glad it was easier than really giving birth.

So tired of these discussions.

Anonymous wrote:Planned C-section. No issues. This whole conversation makes me really sad. No event with these variables, medicated or otherwise, should be touted as a personal achievement.

I agree, which is why it's gross that some women posting are saying they are stronger than other women because they had unmedicated births. Why would you post something like this on a forum about c-sections?

Planned C-section. No issues. This whole conversation makes me really sad. No event with these variables, medicated or otherwise, should be touted as a personal achievement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far alon

g in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

Doulas are a waste they are not medical doctors. Worthless

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

I feel sorry for you. You are not stronger than me, but you have way more trauma that you haven’t dealt with and it makes it you a really ugly personal. I’m sure you have a hard time being with yourself. I can’t imagine the pain of being you.

I also don’t understand why you are so threatened by someone having a positive birth experience with a doula. It doesn’t take away from your trauma or your story. You really need to be in therapy. I say this sincerely. You need help.

There’s clearly a doula on here with a NCB agenda who doesn’t like real stories from real moms who hired real doulas and found them useless. My doula was the biggest waste of 1,000. Hiring some random woman to come watch me deliver and gawk when things got hairy. She knew nothing - the L and D nurses and my husband and medical team were more than sufficient and everyone else in the room knew a lot more and had far more actual education than she did. Newsflash - hiring a doula does not prevent a complex delivery or birth trauma or complications. The skill and knowledge of the doulas you are referring to are about the top .05 percent of doulas, maybe.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads. Another way to try to make a new mom feel like crap about herself.

3 sections, one emergent after developing HELLP (which sent my baby into huge decells before doula lady gets on me for not being strong enough or doula-ed up enough to give birth to my four pound baby vaginally)

The next two were ENTIRELY elective and if I had it all to do over again they would all have been elective c sections. I recovered quickly and easily each time. My mom needed to have major reconstructive pelvic surgery after vaginally delivering four babies. I have avoided that!

If I had one wish for the women facing pregnancy/childbirth /young childhood rearing it would be to say that you can do your best, do what you want, and if you love your baby, take care of yourself and provide food and shelter and warmth and love that everything is going to be ok and all these incredibly stupid culture wars will be a distant memory. Never let any militant 'side' convince you to override your own best interests.

It doesn't matter how the baby got here. It doesn't matter. It's not a contest. You're not winning. The only thing we're trying to do is keep as many moms and babies alive as possible Childbirth is dangerous and painful. Do what is best for you.

I’m the pp and not sure if you’re agreeing with me or responding to me but just in case it wasn’t clear…I think we agree entirely with each other

Anonymous wrote:These threads. Another way to try to make a new mom feel like crap about herself.

3 sections, one emergent after developing HELLP (which sent my baby into huge decells before doula lady gets on me for not being strong enough or doula-ed up enough to give birth to my four pound baby vaginally)

The next two were ENTIRELY elective and if I had it all to do over again they would all have been elective c sections. I recovered quickly and easily each time. My mom needed to have major reconstructive pelvic surgery after vaginally delivering four babies. I have avoided that!

If I had one wish for the women facing pregnancy/childbirth /young childhood rearing it would be to say that you can do your best, do what you want, and if you love your baby, take care of yourself and provide food and shelter and warmth and love that everything is going to be ok and all these incredibly stupid culture wars will be a distant memory. Never let any militant 'side' convince you to override your own best interests.

It doesn't matter how the baby got here. It doesn't matter. It's not a contest. You're not winning. The only thing we're trying to do is keep as many moms and babies alive as possible Childbirth is dangerous and painful. Do what is best for you.