Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a line between being generous and providing too much. Some of the comments above sound good in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning if they knew that their every financial need will be met regardless of their work efforts. Most of the great artists didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. Rather, they worked hard and pushed their creativity to support themselves.

You have to know your own kids. My 27 is still highly motivated. Uses our gifts to save more. They didn't want a "luxury" car because that just looks bad for someone their age in the work parking lot. Now their managers know they have parents with money--simply based on the trips they have taken in last 5 years since college graduation (that they have had to request vacation days for). But they don't know our kid flies in business class most of time when we pay or that we paid for their new car.

Kid is still highly motivated to do what they love. They just know they don't have to worry about taking risks.


But if you have an unmotivated kid then don't help them out if it's a deter at to hard work

I’m pretty sure your kid’s coworkers / boss doesn’t know you - their parents - have $ from them requesting PTO days unless your kid is also oversharing their travel plans.

We drop a crap ton on travel annually and nobody knows because we all keep it super high level / vague outside the family convos and we don’t post on socials.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with creating true generational wealth, $25M+, is that kids are not having kids anymore. With current fertility rates, if you have 2 kids there is a chance you get no grandkids and a good chance you will have no great grandkids….let alone 4-5-6 generations out.

The other issue is that all the driven/good future offspring will preserve or grow the money, but eventually you get a bad generation. And what happens is the least deserving wastes it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a line between being generous and providing too much. Some of the comments above sound good in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning if they knew that their every financial need will be met regardless of their work efforts. Most of the great artists didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. Rather, they worked hard and pushed their creativity to support themselves.

You have to know your own kids. My 27 is still highly motivated. Uses our gifts to save more. They didn't want a "luxury" car because that just looks bad for someone their age in the work parking lot. Now their managers know they have parents with money--simply based on the trips they have taken in last 5 years since college graduation (that they have had to request vacation days for). But they don't know our kid flies in business class most of time when we pay or that we paid for their new car.

Kid is still highly motivated to do what they love. They just know they don't have to worry about taking risks.


But if you have an unmotivated kid then don't help them out if it's a deter at to hard work

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

And for those of us with money, our kids know they can choose whatever path suites them the best. It's easier to be an artist or social worker or something that doesn't pay extremely well when you know you have financial backing to live well AND do what you love. If you have the means, why wouldn't you encourage your kids to be who they want to be? We need more motivated and successful people in those areas....areas that many avoid because of the lower pay and stress of it

All successful artists (music, acting, painting, etc) have incredible work ethic.

If my kid doesn’t have that then no way in financially support it.

Too many wealthy fake DJs and similar fake artists who really don’t do anything but party and spend their parents’ money.

It’s how the generational wealth gets lost in one generation.

Anonymous wrote:There’s a line between being generous and providing too much. Some of the comments above sound good in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning if they knew that their every financial need will be met regardless of their work efforts. Most of the great artists didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. Rather, they worked hard and pushed their creativity to support themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

And for those of us with money, our kids know they can choose whatever path suites them the best. It's easier to be an artist or social worker or something that doesn't pay extremely well when you know you have financial backing to live well AND do what you love. If you have the means, why wouldn't you encourage your kids to be who they want to be? We need more motivated and successful people in those areas....areas that many avoid because of the lower pay and stress of it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

as a high net worth person you are doing your kids a huge disservice. My DH does our finances and brought our kids into them. when they were juniors in high school. My kids know how much we make, How much we spend, and how much we invest. My oldest is really into it and has his own investment account. it actually kinda freaks my college aged kid out because he’s thinking “holy crap I’ll never make that” They are both well aware now is what having a “working mom” when they were growing up meant and what a huge multiplier that has been for our family.

Finances are not a thing to hide from your children.

I hear you. But, my kids are highly successful, have great families and don’t need money from me. Mission accomplished. I had cousins who amounted to less than nothing by being handed too much and expecting more. That was a big influence for me.

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.