Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 17:07     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
It’s telling that the OP won’t address her actual question, which was whether or not this would hurt her sister’s feelings. So what was your real purpose for starting this thread, OP?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:23     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:I think most of the PPs here can’t afford a ski vacation and are just being mean.


Interesting, I guess I think that many people don't understand saving for years for a vacation that you'll take once.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:22     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Adults choose who to invite on vacations. This isnt a family celebration. Adults understand this.


OK Mr. Spock.

Do people really interact with their family this way? How sad.

OP is talking about a one time vacation tailored to a specific activity that this other sister’s kids either can’t do or are not as proficient at as the rest of the group, not how her family handles the run of the mill beach vacation. Get a grip people, everything does not revolve around you.


dp I do hope that op at the very least talks to the sister who is not going to be invited. The worst if she found out that she wasn't included after the fact. Don't sneak around, op.


I have said like 10 times on this thread that I am not going to sneak around. It is August. Clearly, we are not going on a ski vacation in September, so it's fine for me to take a few weeks and work out the details, and then tell her. I haven't told my own kids either, as this will be their Christmas gift.

I have no idea why the idea that I would sneak around keeps coming up.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:18     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:Make it a no-kids vacation and invite all adult siblings.


So, you think excluding my own kids is less cruel than excluding my sibling?
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:15     Subject: Re:If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate when families feel like they have to cater to the lowest common denominator in a family. Always having to attach themselves to the weakest link.
I wouldn't want to go on a beach vacation with that sister if I was expected to help watch her for young kids. My kids are old enough to enjoy the beach without drowning and are wonderful swimmers I don't want to have to run around looking after a four-year-old all day it's not even mine. That's why when my kids were little we planned vacations that our entire family could enjoy and where I knew I could keep the kids safe. I would never want to go on a vacation where I would need to have everyone else help me care for my own children.
It's one thing if we're all going to a park and invite the cousins along and watch them but it's an entirely different thing to go on a vacation that is geared towards older kids and expect the entire family to watch your toddlers.


OP here,

The thing is, I actually really love doing things with her kids. I used to teach preschool, I'd have more kids if I could afford them. Twice, we took beach vacations when this sister had a baby about the same age, I took her toddlers and older kids with my kids to the beach, and loved it. All this summer, whenever I went to the pool or minigolf or whatever, I picked up this sister's kids. I really enjoyed that, because playing minigolf with a 4 and 8 year old is fun. Next summer, we'll probably go to the beach together, and I'll watch her kids some more.

But being stuck on an easy slope, while the slope you came to ski is right there where you can see it, and you can't be with your own children, isn't fun. It's like going to Ruth Chris on New Years Eve. It's an activity that is more fun when little kids aren't there.



You don't need to invite her! The question was, "Would you be hurt?" Most people are saying, "Yeah, I'd be hurt." All this other info is background noise. Do you care if your sister will be hurt, or not? If no, then the three of you go ahead and have fun. If you do care, then don't invite youngest sister.

If you don't care, though, then I'm not sure why you bothered to ask in the first place, unless you just assumed everyone would say, "nah, it's fine!"
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:13     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
I agree and I don't think you should miss out on having this fun trip and I don't think you're younger sister should miss out either. She'll miss out on plenty if she does have kids. That's part of the price you pay.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:10     Subject: Re:If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:I hate when families feel like they have to cater to the lowest common denominator in a family. Always having to attach themselves to the weakest link.
I wouldn't want to go on a beach vacation with that sister if I was expected to help watch her for young kids. My kids are old enough to enjoy the beach without drowning and are wonderful swimmers I don't want to have to run around looking after a four-year-old all day it's not even mine. That's why when my kids were little we planned vacations that our entire family could enjoy and where I knew I could keep the kids safe. I would never want to go on a vacation where I would need to have everyone else help me care for my own children.
It's one thing if we're all going to a park and invite the cousins along and watch them but it's an entirely different thing to go on a vacation that is geared towards older kids and expect the entire family to watch your toddlers.


OP here,

The thing is, I actually really love doing things with her kids. I used to teach preschool, I'd have more kids if I could afford them. Twice, we took beach vacations when this sister had a baby about the same age, I took her toddlers and older kids with my kids to the beach, and loved it. All this summer, whenever I went to the pool or minigolf or whatever, I picked up this sister's kids. I really enjoyed that, because playing minigolf with a 4 and 8 year old is fun. Next summer, we'll probably go to the beach together, and I'll watch her kids some more.

But being stuck on an easy slope, while the slope you came to ski is right there where you can see it, and you can't be with your own children, isn't fun. It's like going to Ruth Chris on New Years Eve. It's an activity that is more fun when little kids aren't there.

Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:03     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you know the sister wants to go skiing??


The OP has made it pretty clear they would come if invited.


OP here,

I don't know if they'd come. But I think it's a reasonable possibility that either they'd come, or they'd try and campaign to turn it into something else that they would come on. So, I'm not going to just invite them and hope they don't come. That seems like a bad idea.

I don't know if my baby sister will come too. Obviously, they need to check work and school schedules. If we decide to invite them, We'll do that before we talk to #3, so that if baby sister declines sister #3 never needs to know.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 16:01     Subject: Re:If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Don't be a jerk, OP. She's going to be hurt. Invite her, at least give her the chance to decline on her own. Don't offer to babysit or stay back... plenty of things you can do that don't involve excluding her from the trip.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 15:57     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:How do you know the sister wants to go skiing??


I don’t, the way it works when you invite people is you decide whether you want them along, and if you do you invite them and they decide if they want to come. We are still on the “should I invite them?” stage.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 15:50     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess we can tell which posters are the sister who is used to having help from family take care if the kids and which posters are sick of it And want a fun vacation.

Lol, truth.


LOL, I guess we can tell which posters are the sister who generally does what she wants regardless of the feelings of the other people in the family and which are the sister who don't think the rest of the family does or should revolve around them. *shrug*
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 15:47     Subject: Re:If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Exactly. There are plenty of vacations and things I wanted to do in my kids were little but I didn't and couldn't because well I had little kids. I never blamed my family for not offering to take care of them for me that seems very conceited.
I had to bail on a bachelorette party early I couldn't go on East weekend spa trip etc.

Let's face it if that's sister is requiring the original poster to help out with kids right now at home she is definitely going to be needing it on vacation to a ski resort.
It sounds like the original poster has helped out a lot which to me means she deserves this vacation without that sister even more.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 15:45     Subject: Re:If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
I hate when families feel like they have to cater to the lowest common denominator in a family. Always having to attach themselves to the weakest link.
I wouldn't want to go on a beach vacation with that sister if I was expected to help watch her for young kids. My kids are old enough to enjoy the beach without drowning and are wonderful swimmers I don't want to have to run around looking after a four-year-old all day it's not even mine. That's why when my kids were little we planned vacations that our entire family could enjoy and where I knew I could keep the kids safe. I would never want to go on a vacation where I would need to have everyone else help me care for my own children.
It's one thing if we're all going to a park and invite the cousins along and watch them but it's an entirely different thing to go on a vacation that is geared towards older kids and expect the entire family to watch your toddlers.
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 14:16     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:Make it a no-kids vacation and invite all adult siblings.

OP planned this vacation with her kids, who are also skiers, in mind, so her kids need to get cut out to appease the other sister?!
Anonymous
Post 08/23/2021 14:05     Subject: If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?
Anonymous wrote:I guess we can tell which posters are the sister who is used to having help from family take care if the kids and which posters are sick of it And want a fun vacation.

Lol, truth.