Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband are cheap and petty. Be glad you have a beach house someone lets you use and move on with your life.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the cousin broke something he was not supposed to touch and only offered to pay 1/2. After reluctantly agreeing to pay up, ran off to his mommy complaining to get you in trouble because he did not get his own way.

Cousin didn’t break anything. Cousin’s friend’s kid broke it and cousin conveyed what the friend was willing to pay. Then OP is a jerk to cousin who did nothing wrong. I can see why cousin complained to mom.

The adult cousin was responsible for supervising his minor guests. They broke an expensive item (by beach toy standards). His responsibility.

He “complained to mom” because he’s a spoiled toddler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

Oh FFS. It was an example of this mentality. Spare me your lecture and take your moral superiority elsewhere. Or, you could actually address the boogie board issue….

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

That was the agreement EVERYONE came to, including the cousin. That there were places to store "do not use" items. Why, why, why is this so hard for people to understand?! The OP said everyone agreed that there was "leave behind, understand can be shared" storage and "do not use" storage. And it worked, without incident, for 12 YEARS. Until cousin decided he wanted to see what an expensive boogie felt like to ride.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are lucky enough to have free access to a beach house and you are whining about a couple hundred dollars within the family. Get a grip.

This and the other statements on here similar make zero sense. Every year, we take our kid's friend for free to a beach house with us. Last year, my kid broke his friend's phone. Just destroyed it. We still [paid to replace it even though the friend was staying with us for free because my kid was responsible and it was the right thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Anonymous wrote:You are lucky enough to have free access to a beach house and you are whining about a couple hundred dollars within the family. Get a grip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

What’s the saying? “An eye for an eye makes the whole world better off”?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it was petty and penny-pinching to insist on full cost replacement and would have been more graceful to tell the cousin not to worry about it. But then it was also petty and penny-pinching to assign depreciation of 50%. So in classic DCUM fashion everyone in this story sucks.

Funny how this thread has gone on for nearly 20 pages after this PP nailed it on page 1. We just can’t resist a good beach house drama.

Ha, yes.

+2