Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 07:46     Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:"Demonstrating commitment" is total BS. Even a job does not require this and it provides a livelihood. The college admission is racketeering.


Guys, you are all understandably frustrated and embittered, but using hyperbole like "racketeering" is not helpful and also untrue. The colleges are doing their best in a difficult situation. And let's face it, for the most part we are speaking of 50-100 of the 3,000 colleges in the US, so maybe that is the issue?

I will simply ask this: what could the colleges do that would make it better for everyone?
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 07:23     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
OP, just want to say how sorry I am and empathize with you. I am watching my dtr and her friend group go thru this as well. Kids I’ve known for years, who I would place bets on, kids whose moral fabric I’ve seen tested, kids who support one another, kids who have fantastic stats - most are struggling to get offers they can 1. get really excited for, 2. have the program they want, and 3. are in line with what the family can afford. I’ve never been so vested in what is happening with my kids’ peers. Covid robbed them of a year and a half of their best high school experiences, and now this. They will come thru it, but it is heartbreaking to watch.

Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 07:21     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.


I have a junior/senior kid in college. My memory of where your kid is still relatively fresh. Looking over the past 3-4 years, there were stumbling blocks every step of the way. My kid's now at a stage where she needs an internship. This stage is even more brutal. At least for college applications, they send out rejection letters.
Most of her job applications land in a black hole, never to be heard again. Even after 3 rounds of interviews, being ghosted is nothing new. Some of these interviews can add up to 6 hrs long. I bring this up to say your kid needs to get used to getting rejections. It's all part of the process.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 06:53     Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
I think your son’s results seem like unusually bad breaks in a really tough year EXCEPT Vermont which has me stumped.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 00:17     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is Op again. I don’t want to out my son but he is half Asian American and half parent from another country. Not Georgetown Day, but I don’t think it would be wise to say which one. I thought most schools prefer not to use the term safety anymore because no school is a “safety” or sure bet anymore. Our school also calls them “likelies.”
We slip up a lot and still call them safeties but they are right, there are no safe bets.

I think my son will have to be convinced that calling admissions reps won’t be bothering them and making his chances even worse. I hope the counselor is encouraging because he is more likely to trust her advice than ours, we are old and out of it.

This is our only child, so we having nothing to compare. We know the application process is hard this year and we were trying to be realistic but never thought he would only get in one school.



OP, what major did he apply to? That may help solve some of the mystery.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2021 00:15     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Hi, this is Op again. I don’t want to out my son but he is half Asian American and half parent from another country. Not Georgetown Day, but I don’t think it would be wise to say which one. I thought most schools prefer not to use the term safety anymore because no school is a “safety” or sure bet anymore. Our school also calls them “likelies.”
We slip up a lot and still call them safeties but they are right, there are no safe bets.

I think my son will have to be convinced that calling admissions reps won’t be bothering them and making his chances even worse. I hope the counselor is encouraging because he is more likely to trust her advice than ours, we are old and out of it.

This is our only child, so we having nothing to compare. We know the application process is hard this year and we were trying to be realistic but never thought he would only get in one school.

Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 23:46     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
So OP’s son goes to GDS?
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 23:37     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What’s a foundational school?


GDS term for safety


TY!
Yikes, just call it a safety GDS, it doesn’t sound any less douchy when you call it a foundational school.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 23:34     Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
When my child didn’t get into a school that she wanted to attend last year, and had applied to early decision, and btw was incredibly qualified to attend, the counselor at her school spoke to the admissions office and asked how her application had “read.” That was code for, is there anything in there that you saw as a red flag. Maybe a stray comment in a teacher recommendation or a crap essay or something the admissions officer uncovered on their own via social media etc. The admissions officer was able to reassure the counselor that my kid’s application read great, there were no red flags, and it was a numbers issue. While she was disappointed, that helped her with the waiting for the spring decisions (she got into a few state schools’ honors programs and ended up at a perfect place for her even if not her first choice). Anyway, my point is that your counselor should have followed up after the ED1 and ED2 rounds to get a sense of why your child wasn’t getting in. I’m assuming you swapped out something else for UVM to conceal your child’s identity, too. Because unless there’s a suspension or misbehavior on social media or a mediocre essay or reference, he should have been admitted there.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 23:02     Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Rejected from Tulane with a 1580?! What in the world.

It’s only out of 1600 right? (The did away with the writing section that they were doing for a while?)

How can a kid with 1580/1600 be rejected from Tulane?!


Yield Protection!


Interesting that people keep posting that. My DC is looking at Tulane for next year, and just got an email rebutting the argument that high stats kids don’t get in because of yield protection. It basically said they have more high stats kids than they can take, and they lean heavily on demonstrated interest. They’re very explicit about that.


You’re contradicting yourself – yield protection is explicitly waitlisting or rejecting people who don’t convey demonstrated interest.


Just telling you what Tulane itself is saying. They clearly don’t see this as the same. There are those on this board that seem to believe that high stats kids get rejected, irrespective of demonstrated interest, because schools think they will accept offers from higher-ranked colleges.

As pp above noted, any university is only going to take a certain ## of kids from any school, or any region. If 100 (or even 50) high stats UMC white kids kids apply from DC, a lot of them are going to get rejected. A kid from Alaska, on the other hand....
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 22:29     Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
"Demonstrating commitment" is total BS. Even a job does not require this and it provides a livelihood. The college admission is racketeering.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 22:12     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to get n the phone with your HS guidance office NOW and have them work those waitlists aggressively. Make them make calls. Discuss the specifics. Find out who they have relationships with. Be relentless. Follow other poster's advice on sending LOCIs also.

And please ignore all the other BS in this thread.


This.

Two years ago, my friend's son was waitlisted by all 8 schools he applied. He was the top of his class. Other kids with worse grades/test results/extra curriculum ... got into schools that waitlisted him. His headmaster and guidance office were shocked. The headmaster asked him to pick one school, and both he and the advisor called the admission office of that school. Then the whole family drove to the school to meet the dean of admission. He was able to get off the wait list.

The admission process is a crap shot and it is unnecessarily traumatizing our kids and families. I agree with one of the PPs - it is like a cartel.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 22:10     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:OP, something very similar happened to my brother (graduated HS in 2000). He had great grades and high test scores. Ended up only getting into our very highly-ranked state flagship, though he really thought he'd get into a more competitive private.

He ended up having a great college experience and then getting into Harvard Law School. He also met his now-wife in college.

TBH, I think he was better off going to in-state public, where he was able to live with friends. He was prone to high stress in HS, and I think he learned to manage it all better by staying close to home for college.


I like this assessment. I think a private elite undergrad is not so important. Grad school or law medicine is where you want the prestige.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 22:07     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no skin in this game yet but will soon. Truthfully, I think in today’s political climate within Top Tier colleges and universities being a white or Asian male is going to seriously erode your chances no matter what your grades, test scores, accomplishments, etc. Coming from a Top Tier private high school is soon going to be passé.

These schools are looking for diversity and equity on campus. They need to follow the new fashionable liberal and woke ideologies on that higher education is embracing. You are going to see fewer and fewer upper middle class high star white and Asian acceptance. Only the Uber connected will get admitted. It is time to start preparing our kids that it is a different world and they need to have back up plans and to be self reliant. Times are about to get tough for kids who thought merit counted. Because it doesn’t anymore. Merit is considered entitled.


I mean, it isn’t new that Asian kids are disadvantaged in admissions at top schools. The joke at my high school was that Asian kids had 100 points deducted from their SAT scores.


No it isn’t new but it is only going to get worse. Columbia is having multiple graduations to shield special kids from the evils of the white straight population on campus. I think that is a huge sign of where we are fast headed. I am not starting a political conversation here, just stating the obvious. (Go to the politics forum for that). Meritocracy are white /Asian (though Asians are finally getting some love) are considered a dirty words right now especially on elite college campuses. Seriously, prepare your hard worker to blaze his own path. That is what I am doing with my kids. Prepare them to be resilient problem solving entrepreneurs.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2021 22:05     Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no skin in this game yet but will soon. Truthfully, I think in today’s political climate within Top Tier colleges and universities being a white or Asian male is going to seriously erode your chances no matter what your grades, test scores, accomplishments, etc. Coming from a Top Tier private high school is soon going to be passé.

These schools are looking for diversity and equity on campus. They need to follow the new fashionable liberal and woke ideologies on that higher education is embracing. You are going to see fewer and fewer upper middle class high star white and Asian acceptance. Only the Uber connected will get admitted. It is time to start preparing our kids that it is a different world and they need to have back up plans and to be self reliant. Times are about to get tough for kids who thought merit counted. Because it doesn’t anymore. Merit is considered entitled.


I mean, it isn’t new that Asian kids are disadvantaged in admissions at top schools. The joke at my high school was that Asian kids had 100 points deducted from their SAT scores.


Yup. And outside of engineering/very heavily STEM schools, the odds are worse for Asian and white girls than boys.