obviously this guy was a product of the above which is why he is so cold and cynical. Damage is multi-generational

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Selfish is pretending to want sex, marrying, lose interest, but expecting him to be celibate.
Any kid who actually cares about their parents sex life and hears the whole story will thank their "cheating" father for saving the marriage for as long as he was able to.
The "blow up" event is not his cheating, it is her sexlessness.

Quoted for truth

More than 800 grown children whose parents were unfaithful responded to Nogales’s online Parents Who Cheat survey.

88.4% felt angry toward the cheating parent.
62.5% felt ashamed or embarrassed.
80.2% felt that it influenced their attitudes toward love and relationships.
70.5% said their ability to trust others had been affected.
83% stated that they feel people regularly lie.
86% reported they still believe in monogamy.
By and large, adult children of infidelity know, from experience, the extent to which a family suffers with a parent’s betrayal, and so do not want to follow in their unfaithful parent’s steps. A 2007 survey found 93% respondents rated faithfulness as the single most important component of a successful marriage.

Children feel betrayed when a parent betrays a spouse. While the betrayed parent may not expect anything from the cheating spouse, their child is left with hopeful expectations as well as a host of fears. Children often find themselves in a nightmare that offers few viable options. One option is to accept the unacceptable: that they have been betrayed by their parent, and hope that by doing this they will ensure their parent’s love and attention. Another option is to express their outrage, and in doing so risk being abandoned by a person whose love they so desperately want and need. Whether six, sixteen, or twenty-six years of age at the time of a parent’s infidelity, these children are left with psychological issues that—unresolved—can plague them throughout their life.

Regardless of their age, children whose parents have been unfaithful often react with intense feelings of anger, anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness, and confusion. They may act out, regress, or withdraw. They may feel pressured to win back the love of the unfaithful parent or to become the caretaker of the betrayed parent. The bottom line is that when parents are role models of infidelity, their children can’t help but react—and they may have a particularly hard time finding their way through the challenging time of dating and marriage.

Loss of trust. When a child learns of a parent’s infidelity, they usually find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to trust that someone they love will not lie to them, reject, or abandon them. They very often learn not to put their faith in love, and may also develop the belief that they are not worthy of receiving monogamous love.

A child may feel as if the cheating parent’s sexual transgression is a black mark against them and the rest of the immediate family.

A child often draws the conclusion that marriage is a sham and love an illusion. Additionally, when parents stay married even while one or both continue having an affair, children are profoundly confused about the meaning of both love and marriage.

Acting out. Rather than confronting sad, angry, or confusing feelings directly, children may exhibit behavioral problems during childhood, sexual acting out during adolescence, and intimacy problems or sexual addiction during adult years. Issues of promiscuity may arise in an attempt to play out what a child perceived from their parents about the casualness of sex and the impermanence of love.

Numerous reports teach when one parent betrays the other, a child’s inner world and sense of the world at large are shattered. The personal environment in which a child lives and from which she draws her sense of safety and security—namely her family—is fundamentally changed because the most important people in that environment have become unrecognizable.

When children learn that the most important people in their world are untrustworthy, their ability to trust others can be seriously impaired. They may be overly suspicious, emotionally distant, or refrain from committing to a relationship because they can’t trust the other person will act honorably and be there for them. Wanting to avoid being hurt in the same way they witnessed a parent being hurt, they may do whatever it takes to protect themselves from being emotionally vulnerable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Selfish is pretending to want sex, marrying, lose interest, but expecting him to be celibate.
Any kid who actually cares about their parents sex life and hears the whole story will thank their "cheating" father for saving the marriage for as long as he was able to.
The "blow up" event is not his cheating, it is her sexlessness.

Quoted for truth

More than 800 grown children whose parents were unfaithful responded to Nogales’s online Parents Who Cheat survey.

88.4% felt angry toward the cheating parent.
62.5% felt ashamed or embarrassed.
80.2% felt that it influenced their attitudes toward love and relationships.
70.5% said their ability to trust others had been affected.
83% stated that they feel people regularly lie.
86% reported they still believe in monogamy.
By and large, adult children of infidelity know, from experience, the extent to which a family suffers with a parent’s betrayal, and so do not want to follow in their unfaithful parent’s steps. A 2007 survey found 93% respondents rated faithfulness as the single most important component of a successful marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Selfish is pretending to want sex, marrying, lose interest, but expecting him to be celibate.
Any kid who actually cares about their parents sex life and hears the whole story will thank their "cheating" father for saving the marriage for as long as he was able to.
The "blow up" event is not his cheating, it is her sexlessness.

god, you are so messed up in the head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Selfish is pretending to want sex, marrying, lose interest, but expecting him to be celibate.
Any kid who actually cares about their parents sex life and hears the whole story will thank their "cheating" father for saving the marriage for as long as he was able to.
The "blow up" event is not his cheating, it is her sexlessness.

Quoted for truth

Anonymous wrote:

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Selfish is pretending to want sex, marrying, lose interest, but expecting him to be celibate.
Any kid who actually cares about their parents sex life and hears the whole story will thank their "cheating" father for saving the marriage for as long as he was able to.
The "blow up" event is not his cheating, it is her sexlessness.

Anonymous wrote:My brother married his AP. I am certain the divorce was more painful with that factor involved - as has post affair life - than if he’d left his wife first. She makes life a living hell for him and I understand. He told her within a month or so of starting the affair and both he and she say it was a pretty unhappy marriage so I wish he’d had the balls to just leave.

So basically his 2nd marriage isn't any better. Sounds like he's the problem in his life, bet his kids are real proud of dad.

Anonymous wrote:My brother married his AP. I am certain the divorce was more painful with that factor involved - as has post affair life - than if he’d left his wife first. She makes life a living hell for him and I understand. He told her within a month or so of starting the affair and both he and she say it was a pretty unhappy marriage so I wish he’d had the balls to just leave.

He never should have told her.

My brother married his AP. I am certain the divorce was more painful with that factor involved - as has post affair life - than if he’d left his wife first. She makes life a living hell for him and I understand. He told her within a month or so of starting the affair and both he and she say it was a pretty unhappy marriage so I wish he’d had the balls to just leave.

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Stupid and selfish - no wonder your wife has no interest in having sex with you. Find out how much your kids care when this all blows up in your face.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rationale is: If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want. if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves. If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway. So no harm done TO ME trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.

Fixed that for you, though you are probably too narcissistic and selfish to care.

Exactly who is harmed?
Kids do not know or care about parent's sex life... and if they DID care, their focus would be on the abnormal denying sexless spouse (as in why did you abandon the marriage?)
The sexless spouse does not care: because sex is unimportant.
Again: who is harmed?

did you even read that post prior. Everyone is harmed.

You just need to have the narrative that you aren't harming anyone by lying, cheating and betraying and stealing time from spouse and kids. We get it. Your sh*t doesn't stink. You are entitled. blah, blah, blah.

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

If you hate your wife so much in that you would rather take time with her and spend it on a mistress, just divorce her and go on to a better life. If it's money, men come out better than women in terms of money and so why the issue? I just don't get why not go on to a happier life for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rationale is: If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want. if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves. If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway. So no harm done TO ME trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.

Fixed that for you, though you are probably too narcissistic and selfish to care.

Exactly who is harmed?
Kids do not know or care about parent's sex life... and if they DID care, their focus would be on the abnormal denying sexless spouse (as in why did you abandon the marriage?)
The sexless spouse does not care: because sex is unimportant.
Again: who is harmed?

did you even read that post prior. Everyone is harmed.

You just need to have the narrative that you aren't harming anyone by lying, cheating and betraying and stealing time from spouse and kids. We get it. Your sh*t doesn't stink. You are entitled. blah, blah, blah.

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

In the middle of your work day? It is a few hours you are taking from your kids---and the time and lies and planning that takes away from the energy to be focused on your kids.

I know a guy who couldn't be found when his kid was hit by a car because he was over at the whore's house screwing in her husband's bed. He can't live that down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rationale is: If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want. if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves. If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway. So no harm done TO ME trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.

Fixed that for you, though you are probably too narcissistic and selfish to care.

Exactly who is harmed?
Kids do not know or care about parent's sex life... and if they DID care, their focus would be on the abnormal denying sexless spouse (as in why did you abandon the marriage?)
The sexless spouse does not care: because sex is unimportant.
Again: who is harmed?

did you even read that post prior. Everyone is harmed.

You just need to have the narrative that you aren't harming anyone by lying, cheating and betraying and stealing time from spouse and kids. We get it. Your sh*t doesn't stink. You are entitled. blah, blah, blah.

Zero time stolen from anybody. The time for mistress comes from the time that would have been spent in a romantic relationship with wife. But the wife chose to be a room mate (not a partner), and that relationship no longer needs any time for romance. It is a direct swap of time/energy/attention/sex from wife to mistress, the kids are unaffected.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rationale is: If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want. if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves. If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway. So no harm done TO ME trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.

Fixed that for you, though you are probably too narcissistic and selfish to care.

Exactly who is harmed?
Kids do not know or care about parent's sex life... and if they DID care, their focus would be on the abnormal denying sexless spouse (as in why did you abandon the marriage?)
The sexless spouse does not care: because sex is unimportant.
Again: who is harmed?

did you even read that post prior. Everyone is harmed.

You just need to have the narrative that you aren't harming anyone by lying, cheating and betraying and stealing time from spouse and kids. We get it. Your sh*t doesn't stink. You are entitled. blah, blah, blah.

Anonymous wrote:

The rationale is: If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want. if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves. If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway. So no harm done TO ME trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.

Fixed that for you, though you are probably too narcissistic and selfish to care.

Exactly who is harmed?
Kids do not know or care about parent's sex life... and if they DID care, their focus would be on the abnormal denying sexless spouse (as in why did you abandon the marriage?)
The sexless spouse does not care: because sex is unimportant.
Again: who is harmed?