Anonymous wrote:I chose to become a SAHM when we had children because I wasn't happy in my career and childcare costs were so high. I love my role in the family and wouldn't change it for the world, but it has taught me that I should let my daughter choose the path she is passionate about. My parents forced me to change my major from a creative one to business and I wasn't cut out for that world. When my kids are older I plan to work part time at something I'm passionate about or go back to school to be a teacher (I already do freelance work every few months which I find gratifying). In the meantime, I am passionate about my hobbies and share them with my children. There are tough days, but I feel lucky to be able to stay home and grateful to my husband for valuing what I do.

I hope that my daughter is also grateful that I stayed home when she gets older, but trust she will be independent and intelligent enough to realize there are so many other paths women can choose and that it is a wonderful and empowering thing to have that choice. Being a SAHM mom doesn't mean that kids can't see you engaging in hobbies or organizations, having intelligent conversations, talkimg about previous work and what you plan to do in the future, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Well I have a career and a solid one at that. However, I would never ever discredit the role women have played in bearing and raising children. It is huge. I hope that it is recognized more and more now that we have the choice not to do so and that more men are responsible for raising children. I can't imagine holding your opinion and looking down at bearing and raising children the way you do - so much that you don't even think these women should be educated.

Also sorry but most people work for a paycheck and their jobs aren't even that fulfilling. I'm lucky that's not the case for me but you're kidding yourself if you think even Most men would work outside of the home if they didn't have to do so.

I'm the pp. I'm not the one saying women shouldn't be able to read. that's someone else.

Do you think Einstein was bored with his job? Leonardo Da Vinci thought it was too hard to paint?

Only lazy people find work and intellectual pursuits "hard"

this applies to men and women btw.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Well I have a career and a solid one at that. However, I would never ever discredit the role women have played in bearing and raising children. It is huge. I hope that it is recognized more and more now that we have the choice not to do so and that more men are responsible for raising children. I can't imagine holding your opinion and looking down at bearing and raising children the way you do - so much that you don't even think these women should be educated.

Also sorry but most people work for a paycheck and their jobs aren't even that fulfilling. I'm lucky that's not the case for me but you're kidding yourself if you think even Most men would work outside of the home if they didn't have to do so.

I'm the pp. I'm not the one saying women shouldn't be able to read. that's someone else.

Do you think Einstein was bored with his job? Leonardo Da Vinci thought it was too hard to paint?

Only lazy people find work and intellectual pursuits "hard"

this applies to men and women btw.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a DMV thing- hating on SAHMs. Thank goodness I moved away. All of you trying to justify to each other why you do what you do is really pathetic. All of you who has "exceptional careers" who I envy the lifestyle of sitting in I-66 or 495 traffic so you could contribute to your mortgage and whose idea of weekend fun is to eat at the food court. Misery loves company.

I hope you enjoy sitting on your couch, watching Netflix and eating Cheetos. Your presence wil surely be missed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Well I have a career and a solid one at that. However, I would never ever discredit the role women have played in bearing and raising children. It is huge. I hope that it is recognized more and more now that we have the choice not to do so and that more men are responsible for raising children. I can't imagine holding your opinion and looking down at bearing and raising children the way you do - so much that you don't even think these women should be educated.

Also sorry but most people work for a paycheck and their jobs aren't even that fulfilling. I'm lucky that's not the case for me but you're kidding yourself if you think even Most men would work outside of the home if they didn't have to do so.

I'm the pp. I'm not the one saying women shouldn't be able to read. that's someone else.

Do you think Einstein was bored with his job? Leonardo Da Vinci thought it was too hard to paint?

Only lazy people find work and intellectual pursuits "hard"

this applies to men and women btw.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a DMV thing- hating on SAHMs. Thank goodness I moved away. All of you trying to justify to each other why you do what you do is really pathetic. All of you who has "exceptional careers" who I envy the lifestyle of sitting in I-66 or 495 traffic so you could contribute to your mortgage and whose idea of weekend fun is to eat at the food court. Misery loves company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Well I have a career and a solid one at that. However, I would never ever discredit the role women have played in bearing and raising children. It is huge. I hope that it is recognized more and more now that we have the choice not to do so and that more men are responsible for raising children. I can't imagine holding your opinion and looking down at bearing and raising children the way you do - so much that you don't even think these women should be educated.

Also sorry but most people work for a paycheck and their jobs aren't even that fulfilling. I'm lucky that's not the case for me but you're kidding yourself if you think even Most men would work outside of the home if they didn't have to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel a lot of ambivalence towards SAH moms, because it's always SAH moms and not SAH parents. It's totally fine if one parent wants to step back from their career and focus on the family (and is often very good for the family!), but there is still a lot of social pressure for women to step into that role that men to not receive. When I got married in my mid 20s, I heard questions about whether I was going to step back when we had kids, whether I was going to take a lower prestige/lower pressure job so my husband could focus on his career and I could the raise kids, etc. Why didn't anyone ask my husband whether he was going to step back his career ambitions to start a family years before kids were even in the picture?

Until it's seen as an equally acceptable/normal path for men (and men decide to SAH in equal numbers), it will always be a choice that is colored by gender politics. Even if it's the best choice for your family, it still is a choice that was influenced by societal norms that women have been trying to crack for decades.

And you think anything else isn't? Come on. You sound really naive here. We are all historical actors. No one is operating completely free of our time period's mores and values.

Sure, but by having another family structure (having a SAH dad, or having both parents work and raise kids as equal partners) you are making a conscious choice that it doesn't have to be this way. I'm not saying it's wrong to be a SAH mom--I'm only saying it's a choice I feel ambivalence about. It models a set of norms for your kids--how does your daughter internalize that her career will be equally important in the future if you made the choice to step down from yours? There are all kinds of situations that make not having a parent SAH unfeasible (for example children with special needs or medical problems), or make having a SAH parent unfeasible (when both parents are absolutely required to work to make ends meet). But for most of the privileged situations on this board, it's a choice to not model an equal marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reality is the sum total of everyone's choices.

If you truly agree that our daughters' can aspire to achieve their greatest dreams, assuming that their dreams may not include being a SAHM along the route, then you are doing a great disservice to the next generation of women by staying at home throughout their upbringing modeling the second sex.

This is beyond economics. For many of us, it's a gender fight we chose to fight because we believe the best way to advance gender equality in society is through participating in the workforce achieving our dreams.

No one would ask similar questions from men. Men are assumed to be capable fathers with careers.

Google Fortune 100 boards and talk with your daughters during Women's History Month. March. Sadly, many schools don't even teach women's history until HS.

We have a POTUS USA placemat filled with white men, and Obama. I hope my grandchildren will see a woman on that mat one day. If you don't think this unequal representation limits little girls ambition, you are illogical.

If you think a woman's place is in the home, by all means, mentor and teach your girls to be SAHMs.

This. A 100% this!

The purpose of working whether you are male or female isn't simplt to earn a paycheck to pay bills. Since the dawn of human civilization, our culture had evolved such that the females of our species had been bound by childcare and their weaker physique to fully participate in aspects of life outside the home and family. We had no say in government, sciences, business, technology or the arts.

The only thing we were good for were child bearing and child rearing. Within the past 100 years, we finally have the opportunity to do something in addition to child bearing and child rearing. No one says raising children isn't important, it is, but so is being a fully actualized and free individual with your own thoughts, ideas and skill set. The ability to gain knowledge in fields other than home economics and to be able to apply to any job or position we want is unprecedented and a miracle considering where we've been!!

How many SAHMs in Mclean that spend their days wiping poop and getting Botox could have been the next president, or cured cancer or written the next great American novel?

This isn't about childcare, it's about blatant laziness.

It's worrisome because these SAHMs are terrible role models got little girls.

Interesting because I think these are extremely important contributions to society.

Ok, so if your important contribution to society is birthing and raising children, why should anyone have bothered to send you to school to learn to read and write? I disagree with most of what the PP said, but you're making a ridiculous straw man argument.