Geez, I'm grateful that our zoned school is so awful that nobody even asks why our child doesn't go there...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think PP got it right. Unfortunately, most of the public school parents who ask don't want to hear you say it's because your public school is too crowded, has mediocre academics that aren't fit to be tailored for advanced kids, doesn't offer an age-appropriate amount of recess, doesn't provide enough PE, art or music, etc. They certainly don't want you to say that after visiting the school and doing careful research, you couldn't send your kids there in good conscience when you have the resources to send them elsewhere. They're more comfortable hearing that your child needs extra help or small classes or something or anything that doesn't imply that you think badly of the school their child attends. If you think PP is wrong, then you be completely honest about why you chose private & see how many public school friends you make in the neighborhood.

OK, you go ahead and say these things to the hundreds and thousands of neighbors who come to your door asking this question every single day.

Honestly, in all my years as a private school parent, I've never had these types of problems with my neighbors. I wonder if your neighbors and neighborhood are simply more awful than most?

Different poster. You're not getting it. PP was saying she won't say those things to public school parents who ask, so she agrees it's best to tell those people something else to avoid conflict.

Maybe you live in a neighborhood where many families choose private school, so it's not a question that gets asked. Almost all families in my neighborhood attend the local public school, so I face the question relatively often ... about once every other month. Sometimes it's parents asking because they are checking into other options besides the local public school, and others because they're surprised I'm not choosing the local public school. More than half the time, the person asking is earnestly seeking info, but it's not uncommon to face someone who seems to want to argue about my choice.

Anonymous wrote:

I think PP got it right. Unfortunately, most of the public school parents who ask don't want to hear you say it's because your public school is too crowded, has mediocre academics that aren't fit to be tailored for advanced kids, doesn't offer an age-appropriate amount of recess, doesn't provide enough PE, art or music, etc. They certainly don't want you to say that after visiting the school and doing careful research, you couldn't send your kids there in good conscience when you have the resources to send them elsewhere. They're more comfortable hearing that your child needs extra help or small classes or something or anything that doesn't imply that you think badly of the school their child attends. If you think PP is wrong, then you be completely honest about why you chose private & see how many public school friends you make in the neighborhood.

OK, you go ahead and say these things to the hundreds and thousands of neighbors who come to your door asking this question every single day.

Honestly, in all my years as a private school parent, I've never had these types of problems with my neighbors. I wonder if your neighbors and neighborhood are simply more awful than most?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure to say something self-deprecating to protect the feelings of super-sensitive public school parents who will view your choice of private school as criticism of public schools. Of course very few public school parents are so insecure. But the tricky part is that most public school parents who ask you a question like this are the insecure ones!

Troll. Or you're just a very sad, smug, nasty, yet insecure person yourself.

Thank goodness I know, with kids in private schools myself, that not all private school parents are like you. I would leave if all the parents were like you.

I stand by what I wrote. Most public school parents won't ask this question in an accusatory way. But most of those who do ask it this way are feeling insecure and are itching to pick an argument. I know; I've faced the question before. After having answered honestly the first few times, I learned to give a self-deprecatory response that changes the subject.

I've got no use for your insults.

Clearly you have no use for introspection or self-examination, either,

I think PP got it right. Unfortunately, most of the public school parents who ask don't want to hear you say it's because your public school is too crowded, has mediocre academics that aren't fit to be tailored for advanced kids, doesn't offer an age-appropriate amount of recess, doesn't provide enough PE, art or music, etc. They certainly don't want you to say that after visiting the school and doing careful research, you couldn't send your kids there in good conscience when you have the resources to send them elsewhere. They're more comfortable hearing that your child needs extra help or small classes or something or anything that doesn't imply that you think badly of the school their child attends. If you think PP is wrong, then you be completely honest about why you chose private & see how many public school friends you make in the neighborhood.

My kids, my money, my choice.

As someone whose child will be entering an Independent School for middle school, I found this thread really misses the point. I was until recently a public school parent who asked questions about why kids were in private. I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone - and I don't think I did - but I really was trying to figure out if there were educational clues that I was missing that should have led me to pull my kid from MCPS.

For the people who ask in a nasty way you also could say, we wanted to do something about the overcrowding in public schools. And the best way for us to do that was by not contributing to it and sending our child to private school. Finish by saying, you're welcome.

I hate the notion that parents insult their kids as a justification as to why they chose private school. My kids are very smart, they have no social problems, and they'd thrive as well anywhere as well as the next kid. They don't need extra care, and my basis for choosing private isn't that they are super special snowflakes. I'm not going to self-deprecate (really, kid-deprecate) in explaining my choice. My kids are at a top private lower school. They track into top schools for middle and high school. I've known students, teachers and parents from these schools my whole life and am happy with my choice. The parents in my area have very mixed views on our local public elementary, and it gets worse for high school. I'm not willing to take that risk. A number of the same moms who were pretty critical about our initially choosing private are now asking me for assistance in transferring their kids to our kids school. I'm sure it happens in some cases in the other direction as well, and we'd re-visit the public option of the private wasn't meetings our needs well. But I'm certainly not going to insult my kids in describing my choice!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure to say something self-deprecating to protect the feelings of super-sensitive public school parents who will view your choice of private school as criticism of public schools. Of course very few public school parents are so insecure. But the tricky part is that most public school parents who ask you a question like this are the insecure ones!

Troll. Or you're just a very sad, smug, nasty, yet insecure person yourself.

Thank goodness I know, with kids in private schools myself, that not all private school parents are like you. I would leave if all the parents were like you.

I stand by what I wrote. Most public school parents won't ask this question in an accusatory way. But most of those who do ask it this way are feeling insecure and are itching to pick an argument. I know; I've faced the question before. After having answered honestly the first few times, I learned to give a self-deprecatory response that changes the subject.

I've got no use for your insults.

Clearly you have no use for introspection or self-examination, either,

Even more fun, explaining New England boarding school. Esp. When we are not in "boarding school people" circles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure to say something self-deprecating to protect the feelings of super-sensitive public school parents who will view your choice of private school as criticism of public schools. Of course very few public school parents are so insecure. But the tricky part is that most public school parents who ask you a question like this are the insecure ones!

Troll. Or you're just a very sad, smug, nasty, yet insecure person yourself.

Thank goodness I know, with kids in private schools myself, that not all private school parents are like you. I would leave if all the parents were like you.

I stand by what I wrote. Most public school parents won't ask this question in an accusatory way. But most of those who do ask it this way are feeling insecure and are itching to pick an argument. I know; I've faced the question before. After having answered honestly the first few times, I learned to give a self-deprecatory response that changes the subject.

I've got no use for your insults.

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure to say something self-deprecating to protect the feelings of super-sensitive public school parents who will view your choice of private school as criticism of public schools. Of course very few public school parents are so insecure. But the tricky part is that most public school parents who ask you a question like this are the insecure ones!

Troll. Or you're just a very sad, smug, nasty, yet insecure person yourself.

Thank goodness I know, with kids in private schools myself, that not all private school parents are like you. I would leave if all the parents were like you.

Just make sure to say something self-deprecating to protect the feelings of super-sensitive public school parents who will view your choice of private school as criticism of public schools. Of course very few public school parents are so insecure. But the tricky part is that most public school parents who ask you a question like this are the insecure ones!

We live in CCMD, and while about 75% of the kids on our street go to private (including ours), I definitely get asked by some of the neighbors with kids in public school why we chose private. When we were still at our neighborhood preschool, where the majority of kids go on to MoCo publics, I was constantly asked why we were going the private route. A couple of the queen bee SAHMs who I had been friendly with started being less friendly once they heard we weren't continuing on to the neighborhood public school. Some people don't care, others are somewhat offended when people "reject" the same choice they made, especially when you're willing to spend $30K/year per child to reject that choice.

When asked about our choice, I simply say that we thought our very shy oldest would do better in a smaller setting and we wanted to keep our kids together, so we sent his sibling to the same school.

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange thread, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" or something. I find it hard to believe that you're being besieged by angry public school parents, and I say that as a private school parent myself.

It's not rocket science: you do owe them courtesy but you don't owe them lots of personal information. Same rules apply to everybody else in your life.

I too find these threads odd; this isn't the only one, so clearly either this happens in an uncomfortable way or else DCUM parents fret that it might.

We've been private for four years now, and we've never had an awkward interaction of this type. I don't think anyone has ever come out and asked us "why not the local public school?" though some have asked us why we chose the school we did, which I suppose could implicitly been that question. We just basically try to answer the question

1) Honestly, in terms of what we were looking for,
2) Without getting unnecessarily detailed, and
3) Without criticizing any other school, whether public or private.

I wouldn't do #3 under any circumstances, there's no call for it.