Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

The dumbest post ever

I started responding and then noticed that original post was from February. So, thought I'll just check with OP: what did you decide eventually? Did you decide to go ahead with it?

In any case, I think 41 is not too old - especially for a second child. I would not advise anyone to wait until 41 to start trying for a first, but if this is how circumstances ended, nothing wrong with trying at 41.

Please update - would be great to hear that you are expecting

This seems to be the thread that never dies. If you get pregnant at 41 and the baby born at 42, it really, really helps to have excellent health. I think it works better if you are either rich or poor. If you are poor, you can always put the kid to work helping around the house and keeping you company as you age. Not so great for the kid, but oh well. If you are rich, someone else can do the heavy lifting. For a middle class person, saving for college and retirement at the same time can be difficult. Right now for someone in their 40s, college is looking like $1M, and retirement like $2M. That is a lot of saving.

lazy?

It's family, hon.

I love the remarks from Wonder Bread moms. Italian families are all about FAMILY! We take care of each other. When she's too old to help herself, she will live with us. (too bad your mom will be in a home . . . )

In fact, I had to TELL my mom that the nanny would be doing the bulk of before and after care. But she insisted on splitting the "job."

not selfish at all, honey - just keeping my mother happy! and young, for that matter! as age is just a number!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age is just a number. That is why your 75 year old mom will make the best babysitter. Wait until she drives your baby around in traffic. So relaxing!

neurotic much?

My 77 yo mom picks up my son from preschool and then waits for the bus for my 9 yo.

Age isn't important; health is, you moron.

Lazy and you should be ashamed of yourself making your elderly mom do your work fro you. She's not your nanny.

I had my 2nd at 36, that's only 5 years younger than you, OP and I never even gave my age a second thought - of course I was young enough to have him. If I had had him at 41, instead of 36, he would be 6 now instead of 11. Big deal.

Anonymous wrote:Definitely too old. I really wish this trend of 40+ Moms would go away.

This "trend," as you call it, has been around for a while. Ever wondered why families of earlier times had such gigantic families? Having 8 -12 children entailed a woman beginning birthing in her teens all through menopause. A few of those babies might survive to adulthood.

A baby at 40 is not a big deal. Had my 3rd (natural pregnancy, no complications) at 42. At home. (Gasp)

Sick of all of the judgmental folks on this board. You give the DC area a bad name. Seriously. Get over it.

My mom had my brother at 40, me at 42. She died this year at age 81. She was an amazing mom and she and I had 39 fabulous years together. I feel pretty grateful I got to be her daughter.

Some women can get pregnant naturally at 41, some women can't. Personally, all things being equal, I would rather have kids at an earlier age due to decreased risk of downs syndrome, birth defects, and other health concerns, but understandably, life happens and some people don't meet their partners until later in life. That being said, I know plenty of people growing up who had older parents, and they are perfectly happy and healthy, so if you can conceive and carry a pregnancy to term and you want another kid, why not?

Anonymous wrote:

In 2007, 105,071 women aged 40-44 gave birth, the highest rate since 1968

Too bad they did not know the crash of 2008 was just around the corner.

I was one of those women. I was almost 43 when I had my DC - best gift I have ever received. Totally great kid - having children later in life keeps you young

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age is just a number. That is why your 75 year old mom will make the best babysitter. Wait until she drives your baby around in traffic. So relaxing!

neurotic much?

My 77 yo mom picks up my son from preschool and then waits for the bus for my 9 yo.

Age isn't important; health is, you moron.

Lazy and you should be ashamed of yourself making your elderly mom do your work fro you. She's not your nanny.

In 2007, 105,071 women aged 40-44 gave birth, the highest rate since 1968

Too bad they did not know the crash of 2008 was just around the corner.

Depends on the situation. I had babies at 25, 29 and 45. The first one and last one were not planned. Same father. At 45 I still felt pretty young and full of energy. He was born when I was 45 and 8 months. Easy pregnancy labor and delivery. At age 53 I developed chronic blood clots and other health problems. I also had a lot more energy at 45 than I do 56 almost 57. Do not regret having him? No but I do think parenting was easier in my 20s and 30s. I would not tell some either way. I do think it takes more of a toll on you.

I had mine at 43 and DH was 49. We adopted, but I'm not sure that makes a difference when you're raising a kid.

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have a second but I just feel that 41 is too old. Maybe not now but I bet I'll really feel it in my mid-50s. To those who have the life experience, what are your thoughts?

Didn't read the thread, just responding to your initial post. I had two children over 41, and I think it's OK, obviously. Not too old. I would have had another (still fertile), but my third child had health problems, so we quit. The only drawback is fatigue. It's much harder when you are older. I hired a nanny to help me with my third child. It was absolutely necessary and worth every penny even though I SAH. But if you are one and done, that's fine! Your child will be fine, you will be happy. Do what's right for you. I really wanted three children (well, four actually), so was ecstatic to have my third well into my 40s. But that's me. And yes, I'm tired, but the kids are in their teens, so it does get easier.

Had my DS when I was 39. Best thing in my life...don't sweat it so much...take care of your health...and enjoy your kids...


Life has no guarantees...there were 12 people who showered, dressed, ate breakfast, drank coffee, kissed their family and came to a what they thought was a normal workday at the Navy Yard...

Do you want that kid? Will you kiss and hug and love that kid? Then have that baby...