Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

And for those of us with money, our kids know they can choose whatever path suites them the best. It's easier to be an artist or social worker or something that doesn't pay extremely well when you know you have financial backing to live well AND do what you love. If you have the means, why wouldn't you encourage your kids to be who they want to be? We need more motivated and successful people in those areas....areas that many avoid because of the lower pay and stress of it

All successful artists (music, acting, painting, etc) have incredible work ethic.

If my kid doesn’t have that then no way in financially support it.

Too many wealthy fake DJs and similar fake artists who really don’t do anything but party and spend their parents’ money.

It’s how the generational wealth gets lost in one generation.

I'm referring to actual career paths--and being a tik tok motivator doesn't count in our family. Talking about pursing teaching or a career as an opera singer of professional musician in an orchestra/private teaching/find a way to make money. So valid important careers that are difficult to pursue due to lower pay. If my kid wanted to do that or wanted to be a social worker/work for non-profit that helps underprivileged kids, I'd support them in that venture. Those are meaningful paths and we need people like that

Anonymous wrote:There’s a line between being generous and providing too much. Some of the comments above sound good in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning if they knew that their every financial need will be met regardless of their work efforts. Most of the great artists didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. Rather, they worked hard and pushed their creativity to support themselves.

You have to know your own kids. My 27 is still highly motivated. Uses our gifts to save more. They didn't want a "luxury" car because that just looks bad for someone their age in the work parking lot. Now their managers know they have parents with money--simply based on the trips they have taken in last 5 years since college graduation (that they have had to request vacation days for). But they don't know our kid flies in business class most of time when we pay or that we paid for their new car.

Kid is still highly motivated to do what they love. They just know they don't have to worry about taking risks.


But if you have an unmotivated kid then don't help them out if it's a deter at to hard work

It’s very difficult for a parent, especially an aging parent, to objectively evaluate if a child is working hard and being productive. Rather, that’s what the world does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

And for those of us with money, our kids know they can choose whatever path suites them the best. It's easier to be an artist or social worker or something that doesn't pay extremely well when you know you have financial backing to live well AND do what you love. If you have the means, why wouldn't you encourage your kids to be who they want to be? We need more motivated and successful people in those areas....areas that many avoid because of the lower pay and stress of it

All successful artists (music, acting, painting, etc) have incredible work ethic.

If my kid doesn’t have that then no way in financially support it.

Too many wealthy fake DJs and similar fake artists who really don’t do anything but party and spend their parents’ money.

It’s how the generational wealth gets lost in one generation.

There’s a line between being generous and providing too much. Some of the comments above sound good in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Plenty of people in their 20s and 30s would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning if they knew that their every financial need will be met regardless of their work efforts. Most of the great artists didn’t come from wealthy backgrounds. Rather, they worked hard and pushed their creativity to support themselves.

We all are searching for immortality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

And for those of us with money, our kids know they can choose whatever path suites them the best. It's easier to be an artist or social worker or something that doesn't pay extremely well when you know you have financial backing to live well AND do what you love. If you have the means, why wouldn't you encourage your kids to be who they want to be? We need more motivated and successful people in those areas....areas that many avoid because of the lower pay and stress of it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

as a high net worth person you are doing your kids a huge disservice. My DH does our finances and brought our kids into them. when they were juniors in high school. My kids know how much we make, How much we spend, and how much we invest. My oldest is really into it and has his own investment account. it actually kinda freaks my college aged kid out because he’s thinking “holy crap I’ll never make that” They are both well aware now is what having a “working mom” when they were growing up meant and what a huge multiplier that has been for our family.

Finances are not a thing to hide from your children.

I hear you. But, my kids are highly successful, have great families and don’t need money from me. Mission accomplished. I had cousins who amounted to less than nothing by being handed too much and expecting more. That was a big influence for me.

Has to do with the individual kid. Most kids are capable of being highly motivated and successful even if you don't burden them with financial issues. We have highly successful kids who had college paid for, first apartment and car paid for and know they are getting millions over time from us. They also know if they choose to sit at home and do nothing they won't be getting financial help

There are two major reasons people are intrigued by generational wealth.

1. Being rich without having to dabble in the workforce. It's viewed as the ultimate luxury in a world where we spend most of waking hours working.

"I don't work because it looks so hard and boring...."

2. The idea that generational wealth implies from some grand acesteral lineage dating back to the founding fathers.

"I don't work, but I have a cousin who does...."

Anonymous wrote:I never set out to be wealthy. My goal was to be a respected professional, which I was. I get far more satisfaction from my professional success than my wealth. Not even close. I want the same personal success for my kids, and they’re achieving it. When you look back on your life, family, friends and achievement and success in your work are far more important than a bank account.

What do you mean by the “same personal success?” Two of my closest friends are wonderful people with unconventional careers. One is a boom/bust entrepreneur (who does great financially overall but would put it all on the line for a dream) and the other is an artist who lives happily within their means. Both have very strained relationships with parents who pushed them towards rigid career paths.

Anonymous wrote:Money doesn't buy happiness. But it DOES solve problems. Problems cause misery. Money helps assuage misery.

I want to leave my kids money because I don't want them to experience misery. Same for my grandkids.

True. Most important though raise happy kids with good emotional intelligence. Unfortunately depression is very high among very wealthy kids
I don't know, but a lot of research has shown to be the case.

Anonymous wrote:Money doesn't buy happiness. But it DOES solve problems. Problems cause misery. Money helps assuage misery.

I want to leave my kids money because I don't want them to experience misery. Same for my grandkids.

This.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it does relieve pressure. We had little money until our late fifties. Now we have a lot. That means we deeply appreciate not worrying about bills. We aren't fearful about our future. We can support or children and grandchildren. Honestly, it just feels like we can breath deeply for the first time in our adult lives.

Money doesn't buy happiness. But it DOES solve problems. Problems cause misery. Money helps assuage misery.

I want to leave my kids money because I don't want them to experience misery. Same for my grandkids.

We told our kids everything because the lack of information from the previous generation created a lot of problems. When it comes to generational wealth, the current beneficiaries are just stewards for the next generation. My father in law did some pretty shady stuff because he hid the cards on finances. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve paid for college, grad school and house down payments for my kids. And funded 529 plans for grandkids. However, there’s a line between being generous and overdoing it and taking away ambition. I don’t ever discuss my income or NW with my kids. Someday it’ll be a necessary conversation but until then I want everyone fully motivated.

IMO you have raised your kids incorrectly if by age 20 you are not fully discussing NW with them. If them knowing you are worth something makes the kid unmotivated there is a lot more at play

How many millions are you worth? 20 is pretty young to just reveal it all, especially if you're not a very spend heavy family.

Kids were 17 and 22 when our NW increased greatly (from $15M to $35M+ with more likely to come). They knew we were doing well, but they were not spoiled and did not get everything they wanted, they still had to live within a budget, yes they got a car to drive and it was nice, but not nearly as nice as many of their friends/cohorts at HS, etc. But with the transaction happening, it would have been strange not to discuss the details with them. They are fiscally responsible, smart kids, and highly motivated on their own. This transaction didnt' change them, except they know they will never have to worry about living a good life, as long as they work hard (by that we mean have a job and not be on drugs/lazy not working or just sitting at home doing nothing). It's easier to work hard and be motivated knowing you don't have to worry about how to pay the bills or having student loans.
So yes, we are not a very "spend heavy family" but we did start spending more after the transaction and the kids now have trusts. We thought keeping them informed and educating them about finances at that level was better than hiding it from them.