Anonymous wrote:Bottom line: You need to take time to know who you are marrying and establish open empathetic communication and understanding before jumping on to marriage wagon and popping out children.
If your relationship is worth it, together both spouses can make one month back home manageable and fun. Magic word: Together
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, thanks for teaching me all about Bangladesh. I never want to visit now.
As if it wasn’t obvious from the beginning…
Anonymous wrote:Op, thanks for teaching me all about Bangladesh. I never want to visit now.
Anonymous wrote:As a South Asian, I am sympathetic to *some* of what OP is describing. Many things are difficult very different. I myself would not be cooking in OPs situation. I would however be eating homemade food and enjoying not having to cook.
OP, you will not get sick from food cooked with unfiltered water such as roti or rice - heat kills pathogens in the water. If you have a gluten allergy, eat rice. Also your kids are half Bengali- they should learn to eat and maybe love the food. I understand young children are picky, and you haven’t cooked Bengali food for them in the US, but this is how you teach children - it is part of who they are. I would prioritize regularly going to south Asian restaurants when you return to the US so they (and you) gain familiarity with the cuisine. You have chosen your spouse - you don’t have to love it, but food is part of culture, and you should find food you like enough to be able to manage short term. My children love paranthas (which they eat plain), rice and fish or chicken curry.
Re the shower- your ILs sound very accommodating. I imagine water is in short supply, and you are likely using a lot. You may not be used to bucket baths, but it can be learned - it is not hard. I think you should keep future visits shorter and communicate more with your husband.
Anonymous wrote:who does your husband go to visit other than his sister?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op also said "tea packets"
That is not how I have heard Americans say it. Americans say teabags.
OP is Bangladeshi herself or probably Indian since she talks about both countries.
Op here. No, I am white. It's probably just something I picked up since I am around South Asians a lot. I think his sister asked me a few days ago if I wanted tea packets. It's not an everyday word for me. In the US most of us use teabags tea packets and don't think much about it.. We usually just say tea
You still didn’t say why you didn’t just marry a white dude and saved you some hassle
Sometimes I wonder why I didn't do this honestly but I married my husband because I loved him. We met when I was 22. He was my second boyfriend.
We both lost our parents in our childhood and that connected us. I liked that Dh is so loyal to his family. He sent his mom money even when he didn't have any. Dh is also very cute. My family raised me to be open to marrying outside my race. Both of our families have been extremely accepting. My family loves my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op also said "tea packets"
That is not how I have heard Americans say it. Americans say teabags.
OP is Bangladeshi herself or probably Indian since she talks about both countries.
Op here. No, I am white. It's probably just something I picked up since I am around South Asians a lot. I think his sister asked me a few days ago if I wanted tea packets. It's not an everyday word for me. In the US most of us use teabags tea packets and don't think much about it.. We usually just say tea
You still didn’t say why you didn’t just marry a white dude and saved you some hassle
Dp
Every married person has had some hassles. Many of those hassles don't rise to the occasion of throwing the whole relationship out. What is this odd culture on dcum against complaining even if the complaints are as valid as they come.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op also said "tea packets"
That is not how I have heard Americans say it. Americans say teabags.
OP is Bangladeshi herself or probably Indian since she talks about both countries.
Op here. No, I am white. It's probably just something I picked up since I am around South Asians a lot. I think his sister asked me a few days ago if I wanted tea packets. It's not an everyday word for me. In the US most of us use teabags tea packets and don't think much about it.. We usually just say tea
You still didn’t say why you didn’t just marry a white dude and saved you some hassle
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op also said "tea packets"
That is not how I have heard Americans say it. Americans say teabags.
OP is Bangladeshi herself or probably Indian since she talks about both countries.
Op here. No, I am white. It's probably just something I picked up since I am around South Asians a lot. I think his sister asked me a few days ago if I wanted tea packets. It's not an everyday word for me. In the US most of us use teabags tea packets and don't think much about it.. We usually just say tea
You still didn’t say why you didn’t just marry a white dude and saved you some hassle
Anonymous wrote:Op
What is your country of origin and if the US, which state were you in most of your life before marriage?