Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

I agree with you completely, on all points, and you’ve put this so well. The people who keep hovering to bash the OP and justify rudeness are just absolutely irrational and desperate. Kids with anxiety (just going with this, not ‘hating’ or ‘accusing’ either girl of anything) are aided immensely by working on that issue, not by having their mommies and daddies lurk on message boards to make wild-eyed accusations of people ‘hurting’ their kids by engaging in the various acts of being human.

So stupid. You can find this behavior rude AND ALSO let it go, for gods sake. It’s the DRAMA of declaring how rude people are “these days” etc etc. Get over it. So there is a rude kid (or else anxious or whatever)—both you and your kid need to MOVE ON and quit stressing about this total non-event. Can you just teach your kid that not everyone will like them, even if they’re friendly? It’s truly not that big of a deal and some of you are turning into a referendum on manners in 2023. Get a damn life.

What a spittle-flecked insane little response. Get well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

You're quoting me and I'm not white. Way to make assumptions, racist.

I don't think you've proved the point you think you have here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

I agree with you completely, on all points, and you’ve put this so well. The people who keep hovering to bash the OP and justify rudeness are just absolutely irrational and desperate. Kids with anxiety (just going with this, not ‘hating’ or ‘accusing’ either girl of anything) are aided immensely by working on that issue, not by having their mommies and daddies lurk on message boards to make wild-eyed accusations of people ‘hurting’ their kids by engaging in the various acts of being human.

So stupid. You can find this behavior rude AND ALSO let it go, for gods sake. It’s the DRAMA of declaring how rude people are “these days” etc etc. Get over it. So there is a rude kid (or else anxious or whatever)—both you and your kid need to MOVE ON and quit stressing about this total non-event. Can you just teach your kid that not everyone will like them, even if they’re friendly? It’s truly not that big of a deal and some of you are turning into a referendum on manners in 2023. Get a damn life.

What a spittle-flecked insane little response. Get well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

I agree with you completely, on all points, and you’ve put this so well. The people who keep hovering to bash the OP and justify rudeness are just absolutely irrational and desperate. Kids with anxiety (just going with this, not ‘hating’ or ‘accusing’ either girl of anything) are aided immensely by working on that issue, not by having their mommies and daddies lurk on message boards to make wild-eyed accusations of people ‘hurting’ their kids by engaging in the various acts of being human.

So stupid. You can find this behavior rude AND ALSO let it go, for gods sake. It’s the DRAMA of declaring how rude people are “these days” etc etc. Get over it. So there is a rude kid (or else anxious or whatever)—both you and your kid need to MOVE ON and quit stressing about this total non-event. Can you just teach your kid that not everyone will like them, even if they’re friendly? It’s truly not that big of a deal and some of you are turning into a referendum on manners in 2023. Get a damn life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

I agree with you completely, on all points, and you’ve put this so well. The people who keep hovering to bash the OP and justify rudeness are just absolutely irrational and desperate. Kids with anxiety (just going with this, not ‘hating’ or ‘accusing’ either girl of anything) are aided immensely by working on that issue, not by having their mommies and daddies lurk on message boards to make wild-eyed accusations of people ‘hurting’ their kids by engaging in the various acts of being human.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfriendly = mean comments, bumping as you pass, whispering, glaring, getting others involved in being mean.

Neutral = doesn’t choose to interact with your kid. NOT A CRIME.

Friendly = friendly, but guess what, still human and imperfect, so maybe some bumps on the road here and there

Does-not-exist-OP-expectation-of-friendship = absolutely perfectly friendly at all times

You must’ve missed where I’ve said multiple times that there’s no expectation of friendship

You must have missed where NEUTRAL IS WHAT THIS KID IS, not “unfriendly.”

No, ignoring someone who says hi to you really is unfeiendly. I think you're trying to make it ok by saying it's neutral. But it's not neutral, it's literally unfriendly. If someone you know and see every day says hi, and you ignore them, you are being unfriendly. You cannot unilaterally change the definition of words.

This. Some of these posters should read up on the psychological effects of the silent treatment. Ignoring someone is a form of rejection and is how many people express anger or resentment. It's considered dysfunctional.

I'm not saying that means the 8 yr old should be forced to say hi to anyone, these kids are young and still learning, just saying that the idea that refusing to say hi to someone who has greeted you could be seen as a "neutral" behavior is not an argument that most psychologists would agree with. It is a hurtful behavior and it's normal for OP's DD to feel hurt by it. I get what people are saying about learning not to care -- I agree people do need to learn not to take it personally. But silent treatment is a dysfunctional behavior and being hurt by the silent treatment is a normal reaction.

It's a wonder some of you people are able to make it through the day. If you say hi to your metro seatmate and they don't respond do you just get off the train and go home and cry?

Anonymous wrote:There’s a girl at DD’s bus stop (they usually are the only ones there in the morning) and they are in the same grade. They are 8 turning 9 and this girl will not even acknowledge my daughter. At first I chalked it up to her being a little shy and my DD is a bit more outgoing.

But as the year goes on, the more I get annoyed by it. I’ve seen my DD wave hi, say good morning and this girl straight up ignores her. She stands at the top of her driveway, while my DD stands on the curb. It’s starting to make my DD feel uncomfortable. She keeps saying “Larla just doesn’t like me”

My question is… the mom of this girl is VERY vocal about kids not being friendly/kind/etc in our grade. It’s a frequent topic of hers… the hypocrisy is starting to grate on me. Would you say something the next time she brings this up?

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

You're quoting me and I'm not white. Way to make assumptions, racist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

I'm an introverted white person and I agree with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.

Well you aren't in charge of societal norms. I'm black and live in a black neighborhood and we all say hello to each other. Old and young. Y'all sound broken to me. Is this why white people are all so miserable? I thought the reason the white parents at our school ignored me was racism, but maybe it's just that they think basic decency isn't en vogue anymore. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is explaining so much.

For the last few years I've really wondered what the deal is. So many people just do not perform BASIC social niceties. They do not nod or smile or say hello when they pass a neighbor on the street. They don't greet other parents at school. People do not introduce themselves. They do not make eye contact when they talk to you. They don't say hi to the cashier or the bus driver. They don't say "excuse me" if they bump into people on the street.

It's not every single person but it's a shocking number of people. Just like... normal social behavior. Not burdensome. I think it's honestly harder to behave this way than to just say hi to people and try to learn their names, put names with faces. I don't think of myself as a particularly social person -- I prefer spending my evenings and weekends at home or with my immediate family, I like sitting and reading alone, I don't linger to chat at school events. But I look at people, greet them, learn names.

The pretzels people are twisting themselves into justify what is basically anti-social behavior. It's okay that an 8 year old doesn't have this down yet -- I'm not mad at this girl for not saying hi. But people are comparing saying hello to someone to unwanted hugs. I'm a rape survivor and am extremely well versed in the concept of "a culture of consent." But this... is not it. You guys are just justifying being rude. That's it. The world would be nice for you and easier for everyone if we just agree to do these bare minimum things. Your social anxiety would actually decrease if you practiced doing these things and committed to making this effort.

Has it ever occurred to you that societal norms (yes, even including what you are calling "social niceties") change over time?

This is not 1950, Marge, we don't say hi to everyone we see walking down the street. Sorrynotsorry. It's 2023, the world is different.