Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband refused to take care of our children for one night so that I could welcome my father, the man who gave me life, by picking him up at the airport, he would no longer be my husband. You’ve got much bigger problems than an Uber ride OP. Unbelievable!

Or at least send him to get his FIL. OP and her husband are weird. Given it's a holiday, this should have been no drama.

Friday after Thanksgiving is NOT a federal holiday.

It is a state holiday in MD and, as you well know, huge numbers of people take the day off regardless. There is little to no traffic the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband refused to take care of our children for one night so that I could welcome my father, the man who gave me life, by picking him up at the airport, he would no longer be my husband. You’ve got much bigger problems than an Uber ride OP. Unbelievable!

Or at least send him to get his FIL. OP and her husband are weird. Given it's a holiday, this should have been no drama.

Friday after Thanksgiving is NOT a federal holiday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This generation had more opportunities for great jobs, with good pensions, affordable homes, job stability and decent working hours. Many women were SAHMs.Now with our crappy jobs with poor retirement plans while juggling parenting and a million other things we are supposed to be chauffeurs not just to our kids, but to able bodied reitred folks who can't be bothered to wake up for an early flight, but expect you to battle rush hour and a possible accident to get them.

Love all the women here chiming in the shame OP. That['s sisterhood for ya.

Pretty sure it was stated his chosen timing would have been rude had it not been a holiday. Do you know any white collar people working on Friday? It is a state holiday in MD. So not likely to be traffic, certainly not rush-hour level. Btw does sisterhood mean supporting a woman whose DH can't take care of the kids for a few hours?

I really don't get this. I had to work that Friday. And yes, i am a white collar person. I know many of my co-workers did take vacation days, but they actually had to request that.

I'm definitely a pick-up-at-the-airport person. If someone is taking the time/trouble to travel to visit me, the least I can do is pick them up. I don't mind it at all, I think it's kind of fun to get to see them right away.

Anonymous wrote:If my husband refused to take care of our children for one night so that I could welcome my father, the man who gave me life, by picking him up at the airport, he would no longer be my husband. You’ve got much bigger problems than an Uber ride OP. Unbelievable!

LOL. Dramatic much?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is the only region I have ever lived in where people seem to really push back against picking guests up. So I think it's regional vs an age thing. Or maybe people in DC are just less kind than elsewhere.

It’s the freaking traffic out to Dulles and back. I can leave work early to rush my kids out of school/make them miss their activities and then spend 90 minutes driving with squabbling kids, and serve takeout for dinner - OR you can read a book in a taxi for 30 min and be welcomed into my home for a home cooked meal and relaxed kids happy to see you.

Take out?! The horror. Your kids are 1 and 4. What activities are they missing? It’s a PITA but you go and pick up your dad. He visits with the kids while you are stuck in rush hour traffic. The world won’t end if bath and bed gets pushed a couple of hours. Or as others suggested, see if DH can get out early to pick them up from daycare and you do the ride alone. It’s not an age thing. It’s polite. I visited a friend this summer and insisted on getting an Uber. She insisted back on picking me up then dropping me off at the airport. It was more time for us to talk and hang out.

And yes, I have kids and spent years when they were young sitting in rush hour with them melting down so I get it. You do this for family.

NP. No thanks. No one should have to cater to the olds when they could just make it easy for everyone.

+++ a million.

PP, does it make you feel good about yourself being a mortar and torturing your kids? Also, kids are different. Now that i have 2, i am telling you my older one would go insane if we changed up her schedule and pushed night routine even by one hour. The younger is as mellow as a kid can be no matter what.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL recently suggested flying into an airport nearly 2.5 hours from our home so that she could take a direct flight We would just have to drive across a couple of bridges and tunnels in rush hour holiday traffic to pick her up and then back again a few days later to drop her off. She doesn't have internet and so she had her daughter make all the arrangements. The daughter then informed my husband and I that she was making these arrangements because changing planes would be too stressful for MIL.
The thing about the 'old people entitlement' is that some of our quote unquote elderly relatives have been pulling this since they were sixty. We're now at the point where WE are almost sixty, and they are still kicking in their mid-eighties. In other words, when YOU were almost sixty, we picked you up at the airport and now that We are almost sixty, we are driving across our state to pick ou up. When do we get to be the coddled old people? I'm thinking never!

Wow. This is insane. I think this is what 's called "learned helplessness" in psychology.

If my mother who barely speaks English is able to handle a couple of transfers at new airports where she's never been before, i would think it is not too much to ask of someone who was born and raised in this country. My mom actually enjoys those trips by herself and figuring out things without pulling out my step by step instructions and airport floorplans printed ahead of time.

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever answer why her DH can't pick up the dad while she stays with the kids? Or why she can't pick up her own father when DH stays with the kids? Seems simple enough.

Before my dad bought the flight, we had the discussion about timing and pick up. We did not know it would be the day after thanksgiving and therefore normal traffic and work would not be an issue. (He just said it would be Friday at 5:30pm.) While speaking to him, I found a flight for Tuesday arriving at 10am (that was cheaper). If he chose the 10 am arriving flight, he said he would have to get up at 4am and he didn’t want to do that. I really just couldn’t understand why he couldn’t take that flight and I would be able to pick him up easily.
The call ended at a standstill and 2 days later my sister let me know that his flight was booked and that my brother (who lives an hour away) would be picking him up. So it ended with my brother driving two hours instead of my dad taking a 10-15 minute cab or Uber (that we offered to pay for).

Also, we would have been able to figure out the pick up if we knew it was the Friday after thanksgiving. But now I’m annoyed that he was choosing to inconvenience me or my brother over himself.

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever answer why her DH can't pick up the dad while she stays with the kids? Or why she can't pick up her own father when DH stays with the kids? Seems simple enough.

Op didn't like the way the thread was leaning, so didn't come back.

Did OP ever answer why her DH can't pick up the dad while she stays with the kids? Or why she can't pick up her own father when DH stays with the kids? Seems simple enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t imagine telling my father he needs to Uber from the airport. The man raised you. I’m sure he had do to things that were occasionally a minor inconvenience for you and your comfort. How ungrateful.

x1000

You are assuming every family is like your. I am not OP, but my parents didn't do much for their own parents and I could give a long list of things they did not do, but they expect to be catered to. We do what we can handle, but set boundaries. Somehow they feel entitled to guilt trip and they even re-write history.

The fact you are so quick to label an very overwhelmed and stressed out OP as "ungrateful" tells me a lot about your personality. It's one thing to simply share that you always drive your parents, but they are the most selfless people and you feel you owe it to them. it's another thing to pass judgment on others.

Hey, I am indeed passing judgment on you. You don't know anything about my family dynamic. You are projecting and presuming that the people who are polite, the people who pick up guests at the airport, only do it for people they like. The fact that you claim that you can be rude to a guest because you don't like them shows how immature and narcissistic you are.

When you grow up you'll understand that having manners isn't because the other person "deserves" them, you have manners because you are a polite person who has manners.

TBH I prefer taking a cab or Uber. It gives me a chance to collect myself before visits. I’m not elderly though so I’m not sure how I will feel when older. If I was going somewhere and eating a pick up I would definitely coordinate my flight to make it easiest for my host. Or at least split the difference if multiple flights are available.

We always pick up guests and family. One of my daughters (DD28) is flying in for Christmas. She lives in DC, spends a lot of time in NYC, and has traveled extensively. She is certainly comfortable with a taxi or an Uber. But, we’ll most definitely be at the airport to pick her up. We are snowbirds back home in Florida. I think it’s really rude to expect guests to take a cab from the airport.

I once had a friend announce she was coming to visit and to save money she took special flights. I was working crazy hours and she expected me to pick her up at 4:30am at the airport and then for the return flight she needed to be there by 3:30 AM, 4:00am the latest. When she was in town she complained when I would not drive 4.5 hours to show her the beach. She wondered why so many of her friendships faded and her romantic relationships ended with people telling her she was too entitled. i have never expected anyone to pick me up at an airport and when they offered I made it clear I was fine using public transit. Being a good guest is a thing too and you can even do it for family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t imagine telling my father he needs to Uber from the airport. The man raised you. I’m sure he had do to things that were occasionally a minor inconvenience for you and your comfort. How ungrateful.

x1000

You are assuming every family is like your. I am not OP, but my parents didn't do much for their own parents and I could give a long list of things they did not do, but they expect to be catered to. We do what we can handle, but set boundaries. Somehow they feel entitled to guilt trip and they even re-write history.

The fact you are so quick to label an very overwhelmed and stressed out OP as "ungrateful" tells me a lot about your personality. It's one thing to simply share that you always drive your parents, but they are the most selfless people and you feel you owe it to them. it's another thing to pass judgment on others.