Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

I’m asking OP. But thank you for your own take.

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

Because that's going to cause actual trauma to the kid in question and the 5 yo.

When he can't wear it, they are all going to get kicked off the plane and put on that airlines no fly list. That's not only going to be traumatic for the 2 yo but the 5 yo as well who WILL understand and remember that he's not going on a vacation because of his SN sibling.

I'm all for SN kids have rights, but honestly, if you are NOT a SN parent or the relative of a SN person, your opinion here is moot. Being the parent of a SN kid is a fulltime job & those parents deserve breaks. Being the sibling of a SN child is difficult and you can easily feel not as important because so much of your parents' time is spent focusing on the SN sibling.

Look, the kid isn't going to be scarred for life by being left at home with a good caregiver. But personally, I wouldn't go for three reasons.

(1) DH and I have an informal rule to never both be out of the country away from our kids at the same time. (We both have jobs that require some international travel.) The thought of something happening that prevents us both from getting home is too scary -- another 9/11 situation, a quick shutdown in flights because of some new pandemic, the Iceland volcano shutting down flights, civil unrest in whatever country we are going to, etc.

(2) I personally wouldn't be able to relax over Christmas without both of my kids. But I do understand that parents of kids with significant SN may feel different.

(3) I don't think I could bear to tell neighbors or friends we had done this. Not to worry too much about what other people think, but to leave one kid home without family over Christmas while the rest of us go on vacation is so outside of the mainstream that I really wouldn't feel comfortable with people knowing we had done it.

Would you take him if he would wear his mask on plane? Why not try anyway?

The discussion is should they leave a two year old behind during Christmas and taking the older kids. NO, you don't take two kids and leave one child. You take them all or you leave them all. You don't punish one child because they have SN. This child already spends a huge amount of time with nannies and not with their parents/family. The trip is to spend time together. OP clearly has plenty of money so if they didn't go, they are probably fine financially and its a loss due to covid.

The other option is OP can take the nanny to be with the two year old so they all go as a family and she has her normal caregivers.

This child needs their parents as much as the older kids, and if anything more. You don't punish a child because they have SN and make them an outcast.

You should go. Thanks at the nanny well. Have FaceTime calls. Your two year old won’t know what’s going on anyway. Your five year old will feel very special.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine leaving a 2 year old who has seizures that have just recently been brought under control for a week with a nanny while I traveled to the Caribbean for a week. I am just agog. And the grandma who also thinks it's a great idea? Wow.

When my child was 2, I did leave him for a week with my mom with support from a trusted babysitter so that I could visit my deployed husband overseas. It certainly didn't scar our child and I'm glad we did it, but I was never able to fully relax. I can't imagine doing it under the conditions OP describes.

Grandma is prob flying for free…

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Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

You're a sarcastic jerk who enjoys making light of child abandonment and belittling people who are concerned for a 2 year old's well being. You're not really worth responding to.

DP, and I agree, but only if sarcastic jerk = rational.

Not PP but the fact you think you're rational says it all. You just don't get it.

I don't get it. Because going on a vacation while leaving a child with a trusted caregiver is not child abandonment. By any stretch of the imagination.

Like hell it isn't.

Whether you realize it or not, referring to something as "child abandonment" that you don't like but doesn't actually harm a child or put them in danger is incredibly dumb and harmful. You know that there are actual children who are neglected by their parents and, as a result, do not get their basic needs met? You're talking about a child that will be fully supervised by a known caregiver, fed, clothed and with a roof over their head. You can call me a jerk until you turn blue, that doesn't change the fact that you sound absolutely ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

You're a sarcastic jerk who enjoys making light of child abandonment and belittling people who are concerned for a 2 year old's well being. You're not really worth responding to.

DP, and I agree, but only if sarcastic jerk = rational.

Not PP but the fact you think you're rational says it all. You just don't get it.

I don't get it. Because going on a vacation while leaving a child with a trusted caregiver is not child abandonment. By any stretch of the imagination.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

You're a sarcastic jerk who enjoys making light of child abandonment and belittling people who are concerned for a 2 year old's well being. You're not really worth responding to.

DP, and I agree, but only if sarcastic jerk = rational.

Not PP but the fact you think you're rational says it all. You just don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

You're a sarcastic jerk who enjoys making light of child abandonment and belittling people who are concerned for a 2 year old's well being. You're not really worth responding to.

DP, and I agree, but only if sarcastic jerk = rational.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

You're a sarcastic jerk who enjoys making light of child abandonment and belittling people who are concerned for a 2 year old's well being. You're not really worth responding to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.

Indeed, only a 2 year old's parents can care for him, leaving him in the care of anyone else for a week constitutes child abandonment. Call CPS!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t see myself doing this, but it probably won’t scar the two year old. They don’t know what Christmas is. My mom left me for two weeks at that age so she could go defend her thesis. I don’t remember the separation at all. A friend was left with her nanny in a village for two months while her parents took exams. She doesn’t recall it at all.

They may not rember the events, but it leaves an imprint on their emotional recollection.

My parents left me with extended family for my second Thanksgiving so they could take my older siblings to Disney. As a result, I"ve had a lifelong struggle with drugs/alcohol and have trouble forming emotional attachments.

Kidding! FFS, the kid will have zero memories of this. In our household my aunt likes to talk about how I sat there happily with some turkey, and I joke about my abandonment and how my parents have clearly always loved my siblings the most (not, I am the spoiled youngest).

Y'all are nuts.

I didn't claim the kids will remember the events, but that it will emotionally impact him. And tbh, even though you like to joke about being abandoned, and belittling people who are concerned for OP's child, it looks like you were emotionally impacted as well and you play it off as a joke. But it's really not funny to someone who has developed a legit drug/alcohol dependence.

I was definitely emotionally impacted. As an adult I can look back and recognize that even though my family is close, I am not the center of the universe, and other people have needs, too!

Right, like a 2 year old needs his parents.