Anonymous
07/19/2021 14:08
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
I have an only boy and my best mom friend (turned real friend) has 4 girls. The kids get on great and we socialize with and without the kids all the time.
Some families are zoos but it doesn't always correlate with number of kids. My sister in law has 2 and going to their house is pure chaos.
Some families are zoos but it doesn't always correlate with number of kids. My sister in law has 2 and going to their house is pure chaos.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 17:19
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don’t have a lot of kids yet but after reading this thread it looks like I’m going to have to in order to outweigh these truly stupid people procreating. If you’re making decisions about your family based on environmental “impacts” (WTF) do us a favor and just have no kids!
I think a lot of people are making decisions about having kids based on the future that these kids will have. Only idiots don't think ahead.
There is a correlation with number kids and education. You know, idiocracy.
Plan ahead for what the freaking ice age? You need to go back on your meds.
I have a PhD and 3 kids… most women I know in DC with 3 kids are highly educated (as most women in NW DC are)
Then you probably know what anecdotal evidence is. Studies show that fertility correlates negatively with education.
Also, studies show that schooling is negatively correlates with family size, meaning the bigger the family size, the less educated the kids.
As a matter of fact I do know… but I am not sure you do. Anecdotal evidence is based on personal experience and is notoriously unreliable. You probably mean “correlation” and depending on your sample size, you might be right. I am also pretty sure that if you control for income level, family size and education are NOT correlated and if they are, they might skew the other way (I.e. richer people are more educated and have more kids)… I don’t actually know this, but it makes logical sense.
My kids are in one of the famous private schools in DC where most kids come from very rich and educated families. I would say that onlies are less likely than sets of 3 (based on my ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE). Some of the richest families in the schools have 2 or 3 kids… I can’t think of any with only 1 (of the richest most educated ones)… but again… based on my experience and therefore might be totally wrong.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 12:44
Subject: Re:I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:I'm not as judgmental about it as OP. I think people should have whatever kind of family makes sense for them, and I know people with 3+ kids and it's what they want and their families seem happy. It's not what I want for myself, but I don't think there is something wrong with it.
However, I do agree that as a parent with just one kid, 3 kids is about when our lives just don't match up well enough for us to maintain a close friendship. I have a sibling with 4 kids and we have some good friends with 3. And the thing that is challenging about it is that the dynamics of their family just kind of dictate everything. I feel like we are constantly being asked to accommodate them and never the other way around. It winds up feeling like a very one way relationship. And OP is right that having a ton of young kids around just kind of kills adult conversation, especially because of the age differences -- there's always an older kid who is bored and wants to go home, or a younger kid who needs more focused attention. It's so much easier to just get together with people who have 1-2 kids. The adults will outnumber them, and with fewer kids, often age differenced don't matter as much because the kids will just accept it instead of segmenting themselves by age group.
Also, I discovered a while back that having large families over to our house, which is a small 3 bedroom with a somewhat small outdoor area, is a disaster. We just stopped inviting our friends/family with large families because when they come it gets so loud and chaotic and someone is always getting into something. They just kind of take over and then they bicker with each other and it winds up being too overwhelming for us (we're used to much mellower gatherings).
But again, I could do without the judgment. I don't think there's anything wrong with a large family. But that doesn't mean I'm desperate to hang out with them either.
I agree -- the dynamics can change, the logistics are harder, and the smaller family is always expected to accommodate the larger. And, frankly, I've had one too many moms of 3+ kids make snarky comments about my only child -- how lonely she must be (no, she's not, thanks for your fake concern), or implying that you're not a "real" mom or a "real" family if you don't have multiple kids, or acting like they know everything about childrearing (no, your sample size of three is not statistically different from mine of one). There are certainly moms with multiple kids who manage not to be condescending (I'm good friends with several!), but I've encountered too many, personally. Although to be fair, it's not about how many kids they have -- someone who is judgmental or condescending about kids is likely judgmental and condescending in general, and would be like that with or without children and regardless of how many they have. I chalk my experiences up to bad luck, but there you are.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 12:30
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don’t have a lot of kids yet but after reading this thread it looks like I’m going to have to in order to outweigh these truly stupid people procreating. If you’re making decisions about your family based on environmental “impacts” (WTF) do us a favor and just have no kids!
I think a lot of people are making decisions about having kids based on the future that these kids will have. Only idiots don't think ahead.
There is a correlation with number kids and education. You know, idiocracy.
Plan ahead for what the freaking ice age? You need to go back on your meds.
I have a PhD and 3 kids… most women I know in DC with 3 kids are highly educated (as most women in NW DC are)
Then you probably know what anecdotal evidence is. Studies show that fertility correlates negatively with education.
Also, studies show that schooling is negatively correlates with family size, meaning the bigger the family size, the less educated the kids.
Wow, this is super racist. Minority populations in the US have larger families than white families, and you’re just categorically calling them all stupid.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 11:29
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Not the ones with 7 kids!
Anonymous
07/16/2021 11:21
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people are still so ignorant to blame global warming on cars.
Oh, well, it’s SAHMs with seven children. They don’t read much
I'm still confused about the poster who wrote about the 7 kids who each have single family homes. You know most people in the USA live in apartments.
Did you know 77% of Americans live in houses?
Anonymous
07/16/2021 11:18
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don’t have a lot of kids yet but after reading this thread it looks like I’m going to have to in order to outweigh these truly stupid people procreating. If you’re making decisions about your family based on environmental “impacts” (WTF) do us a favor and just have no kids!
I think a lot of people are making decisions about having kids based on the future that these kids will have. Only idiots don't think ahead.
There is a correlation with number kids and education. You know, idiocracy.
Plan ahead for what the freaking ice age? You need to go back on your meds.
I have a PhD and 3 kids… most women I know in DC with 3 kids are highly educated (as most women in NW DC are)
Then you probably know what anecdotal evidence is. Studies show that fertility correlates negatively with education.
Also, studies show that schooling is negatively correlates with family size, meaning the bigger the family size, the less educated the kids.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 11:08
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people are still so ignorant to blame global warming on cars.
Oh, well, it’s SAHMs with seven children. They don’t read much
I'm still confused about the poster who wrote about the 7 kids who each have single family homes. You know most people in the USA live in apartments.
Anonymous
07/16/2021 11:05
Subject: I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
It’s actually a combination of both - overpopulation combined with incredibly wasteful and inefficient Western lifestyles. If PP Mom of 7 raises kids to live off the land in an ecologically sustainable way, perhaps even with some improvements to their little corner of the world, it’s possible they could have LESS negative impact than your singleton who lives in a 4000 sqft new build McMansion in the burbs, drives their SUV literally EVERYWHERE, plants non-natives/invasive species around the perimeter of their massive lawn complete with a sprinkler system, keeps the air conditioning set at 70 all the time, gets crap delivered from Amazon on a daily or weekly basis, and so on and so on…
You have got to start using your brains when you hear these types of platitudes, people.
Oh, please!
A singleton in McMansion vs 7 kids in SFHs, 1 car vs 7 cars, 10 lb of food a week vs 70 lb of wood a week consumed.
You didn’t read the beginning of my comment apparently, or else you somehow didn’t understand it (which is truly sad because it’s not complicated). Obviously, when lifestyles are comparable 7 is worse than 1…
Do you think the mom with 7 kids grows her own food, makes her own clothes and uses cloth diapers and bikes instead of driving? Seriously?
Yes and she even has a blog and instagram