Anonymous
05/16/2021 15:46
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and my parents bought me a $750k 3br condo. I’m single and childless. I would have never been able to afford to be a homeowner on my salary, and now I can have a home while working a job I love. If I had to buy it on my own, I wouldn’t have been able to work as a nanny and I love the kids in my care.
My parents did the same for my brother, but his home was 1million+. My parents put their beach home in my name to even things out. I never asked for the home and I’m really grateful to have this security.
Yeah, you are the person the rest of us are allowed to hate.
To clarify, what exactly is the reason here for permitted hate? That she received good fortune and generosity from her loved ones?
Is this “hateful” behavior, or is this projected jealousy?
I'm not jealous of a nanny living in her daddy's 3 bedroom condo, LOL. That's just sad.
I absolutely hate the mentality, and the parent who is enabling their kid.
So, you are right, I shouldn't hate the nanny, but I do kind of hate her parents for enabling bad life choices.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 15:44
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My ILs bought BIL (and his wife) a house in an expensive neighborhood in Bethesda. There were no other young families there because no one in their late 20s/early 30s could afford to live there. It is a well to do neighborhood with an aging demographic.
Despite the house being fully paid for, they could not come up with the annual tax bill for it. This cost ate thru his early inheritance instead and in the end 20 years later of a marriage constantly hampered by money problems, came the divorce and the admission that they couldn't even afford to pay the real estate taxes.
One could argue that the ILs wanted to help the young family and give them a nice place to live.
One could also argue that the ILs wanted to brag to their friends and show their son was a "winner" in life with his big fancy house and so crippled him with an unaffordable asset and floated his lifestyle with an early inheritance that was not compounding but eroded.
Parents do buy adult children luxury homes, but outcomes will vary. Wait 20 years to see where the homeowners land.
Wow.
Wow, this is a great lesson learned, and a great example of why you don't create an artificial lifestyle for your kids. I'm the poster who said there is a huge difference between "help" and "float." Helping is giving your kids money for an addition or helping with a down payment for their first house. Floating is pushing them into a life that they would never be able to afford without your help. The latter is always going to be problematic.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 14:25
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:There seems to be an interesting ideology here that if your parents are rich you must be given money/a house and only if you are poor or less well off that you wouldn't be given it because your parents can't afford to. Goodness forbid your parents make you work for that you have and own what you can afford on your own. Someone should tell Gates' and Buffett's children they aren't getting all that money.
I don’t where you get that because it’s pretty much the opposite— half the people are saying no matter how rich your parents are they should never give you a dime (til they are dead I guess)* and half the people are saying if parents want to use their money by helping their kids there’s nothing wrong with it. I didn’t see anyone saying parents must give money to kids but maybe I missed it because I admit I haven’t read every post.
* I guess there is a subgroup that says parents can give some money as long as it doesn’t let you have more kids or a nicer house than maybe you could afford otherwise.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 11:35
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
There seems to be an interesting ideology here that if your parents are rich you must be given money/a house and only if you are poor or less well off that you wouldn't be given it because your parents can't afford to. Goodness forbid your parents make you work for that you have and own what you can afford on your own. Someone should tell Gates' and Buffett's children they aren't getting all that money.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 11:32
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:My ILs bought BIL (and his wife) a house in an expensive neighborhood in Bethesda. There were no other young families there because no one in their late 20s/early 30s could afford to live there. It is a well to do neighborhood with an aging demographic.
Despite the house being fully paid for, they could not come up with the annual tax bill for it. This cost ate thru his early inheritance instead and in the end 20 years later of a marriage constantly hampered by money problems, came the divorce and the admission that they couldn't even afford to pay the real estate taxes.
One could argue that the ILs wanted to help the young family and give them a nice place to live.
One could also argue that the ILs wanted to brag to their friends and show their son was a "winner" in life with his big fancy house and so crippled him with an unaffordable asset and floated his lifestyle with an early inheritance that was not compounding but eroded.
Parents do buy adult children luxury homes, but outcomes will vary. Wait 20 years to see where the homeowners land.
Wow.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 11:29
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:Oh, we all know that one couple - earnest, low earning jobs “because it’s a calling, we don’t care about the money..” three (if not four kids), who live in a house YOU KNOW they didn’t pay for. I think, collectively, it’s okay to hate them.
I don’t have the same animosity for the couple who works hard, have good jobs that pay well, can afford to live in this area...but the parental help just did exactly that, it HELPED. Example, they could afford a house, but the inheritance helped them buy a slightly better house...
The difference is between getting HELPED and being FLOATED.
But your kids a condo and let them work up from their on their own, but buying your kids a house when they are 40 and have three kids, that’s enabling.
Uh no, it’s not to hate people just because they are using their family money to work low earning jobs and raise a family.
WTF is wrong with you? Hate the economic system we have which is taking all the productivity gains of the last 30 years and funneling them to the .1% so the top echelon gets more and the rest of us fight for scraps but don’t hate on someone who’ s using their money to actually help society.
Why on earth would it better for this family to be in i-banking or law than teaching or something?
Anonymous
05/16/2021 11:12
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and my parents bought me a $750k 3br condo. I’m single and childless. I would have never been able to afford to be a homeowner on my salary, and now I can have a home while working a job I love. If I had to buy it on my own, I wouldn’t have been able to work as a nanny and I love the kids in my care.
My parents did the same for my brother, but his home was 1million+. My parents put their beach home in my name to even things out. I never asked for the home and I’m really grateful to have this security.
Yeah, you are the person the rest of us are allowed to hate.
To clarify, what exactly is the reason here for permitted hate? That she received good fortune and generosity from her loved ones?
Is this “hateful” behavior, or is this projected jealousy?
+1. Instead of being hateful or jealous, I recommend channeling your energy toward making this type of financial help available for your own children. Plenty of families do this, and the kids do not turn out to be slackers.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 10:31
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Stop being salty and put all your money on Doge Coin. Join the rich don’t bash them.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 06:33
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tax the shit out of it. This is what privilege is.
I disagree with this. A lot of these parents worked, scrimped, and saved to get there. They didn't not spend money on crazy things - they saved and bought homes, they ate out once a month, they didn't do lavish things with their kids. Now they have money and lots of it. Their sacrifices and hard work gave them that money. Now, you see those who have astounding higher education debt, taking jobs (or not) that have easy hours, taking lavish vacations, and spending money eating out all the time pissed at others having wealth that obtained it through sacrifice. They want to tax their capital gains and inheritances. It is petty.
😂
Anonymous
05/16/2021 06:09
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
My dad built my sister a house op.
He also gave me a condo with a garage in the most exclusive neighborhood in my city, back in my home country.
Then my sister moved into mom's and dad's house with her DH, dad sadly passed away, and my sister just renovated mom's house and spent thousands of Euros with new balconies, attic finished, pavement from one property to another, to our free-standing garages, etc.
Imagine! They built her a house, what a spoiled person she must be! Then she remodeled their whole house with mom not putting in a penny!
I am sorry you grew up without being able to get and do such things. However, it doesn't give you the permission to criticize and to be rude to people who can afford such things.
He also gave me a condo with a garage in the most exclusive neighborhood in my city, back in my home country.
Then my sister moved into mom's and dad's house with her DH, dad sadly passed away, and my sister just renovated mom's house and spent thousands of Euros with new balconies, attic finished, pavement from one property to another, to our free-standing garages, etc.
Imagine! They built her a house, what a spoiled person she must be! Then she remodeled their whole house with mom not putting in a penny!
I am sorry you grew up without being able to get and do such things. However, it doesn't give you the permission to criticize and to be rude to people who can afford such things.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 06:05
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
My house that needs some updating and has no finished basement might sell for over 700K right now. Or more, maybe even 800K due to being the center of a court, with a huge flat back yard, and it backs onto a green area and around it are trees and a small forest.
In no way is my 800K house a luxury house. At all.
In no way is my 800K house a luxury house. At all.
Anonymous
05/16/2021 05:46
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
I don’t see anything wrong with helping your kids out, but I do think it gives them a false sense of financial security and could adversely influence their opinions about economic policy, which further widens the wealth gap.
Anonymous
05/15/2021 21:00
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
My ILs bought BIL (and his wife) a house in an expensive neighborhood in Bethesda. There were no other young families there because no one in their late 20s/early 30s could afford to live there. It is a well to do neighborhood with an aging demographic.
Despite the house being fully paid for, they could not come up with the annual tax bill for it. This cost ate thru his early inheritance instead and in the end 20 years later of a marriage constantly hampered by money problems, came the divorce and the admission that they couldn't even afford to pay the real estate taxes.
One could argue that the ILs wanted to help the young family and give them a nice place to live.
One could also argue that the ILs wanted to brag to their friends and show their son was a "winner" in life with his big fancy house and so crippled him with an unaffordable asset and floated his lifestyle with an early inheritance that was not compounding but eroded.
Parents do buy adult children luxury homes, but outcomes will vary. Wait 20 years to see where the homeowners land.
Despite the house being fully paid for, they could not come up with the annual tax bill for it. This cost ate thru his early inheritance instead and in the end 20 years later of a marriage constantly hampered by money problems, came the divorce and the admission that they couldn't even afford to pay the real estate taxes.
One could argue that the ILs wanted to help the young family and give them a nice place to live.
One could also argue that the ILs wanted to brag to their friends and show their son was a "winner" in life with his big fancy house and so crippled him with an unaffordable asset and floated his lifestyle with an early inheritance that was not compounding but eroded.
Parents do buy adult children luxury homes, but outcomes will vary. Wait 20 years to see where the homeowners land.
Anonymous
05/15/2021 15:19
Subject: Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and my parents bought me a $750k 3br condo. I’m single and childless. I would have never been able to afford to be a homeowner on my salary, and now I can have a home while working a job I love. If I had to buy it on my own, I wouldn’t have been able to work as a nanny and I love the kids in my care.
My parents did the same for my brother, but his home was 1million+. My parents put their beach home in my name to even things out. I never asked for the home and I’m really grateful to have this security.
You could have worked as a nanny, but you would not have liked the housing the salary affords. Many millions of low paid workers afford housing on their salaries. It’s just housing you would like.
Anonymous
05/15/2021 11:40
Subject: Re:Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes
I mean they might be the same here though... projected jealousy expressed as hateful behavior.