Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

I'm actually amazed that at mid-40's you haven't worked out that women will say anything. What they mean is another matter.

Most 30's women I know still want children and from what I see once the commitment comes along they believe things will change.

More and more women are childfree by choice.

Wait, this man is asking relationship advice on Urban "moms" but does not want kids or a woman with kids. Troll! Go to Reddit with your sadness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

I'm actually amazed that at mid-40's you haven't worked out that women will say anything. What they mean is another matter.

Most 30's women I know still want children and from what I see once the commitment comes along they believe things will change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

Yes, I’m a stepmother, and started dating DH in my early 30s. I wanted kids (he did wanted more, too), and my friends all though I was crazy dating someone with baggage when I could find someone without.

Obviously we are together, and happy, but being a step parent is really hard - your partner is making major life decisions that impact you but that you have no control over. I don’t think DH and I would have made it if we didn’t have kids together - having our own kids made us out in the effort into making our relationship and family work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

My friend is a stepmom and she makes it clear she will never buy the stepkids anything or clean up after them. If her husband, their dad, ever ends up with full custody, for whatever reason, she says that he needs to pay for all the utilities and food. Plus housekeeping because they make a mess.

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

I have a friend who is 46, not married, doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want kids. She hasn’t dated for quite some time. I wonder if the type of women you are looking for are just sort of not in the pool.

OP, you can probably find a woman who wants to be a step mom because she can't have her own children.

Most younger women don't want this, they either want to try to have children with someone special or don't want to deal.with kids at all.

OP already has kids, so by definition anyone who dates him seriously or marries him will become a step mom. Any woman who wants to be totally childless won't be interested. A woman in her 40s who can't have her own kids would be the best option.

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

It's it like a sugar daddy thing?

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

But what if your ex dies? Your new wife would have to put up with your kids.

I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am female and was a hard no on kids. Until I hit 40. Then suddenly career is going great, I have more time, more money. Between 40-45 I pulled out all the stops for kids. I was as surprised by what felt biological as anyone.

Perhaps but it’s not universal.

You think she is lying?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am female and was a hard no on kids. Until I hit 40. Then suddenly career is going great, I have more time, more money. Between 40-45 I pulled out all the stops for kids. I was as surprised by what felt biological as anyone.

Perhaps but it’s not universal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids (am divorced and IVF/ICSI did not work for us) and am not likely to have any at this point but I would love to be a stepmom. You will just have to be honest and upfront and hope you meet someone. Dating is a crapshoot without all of the extra "must-haves."

Okay but you cant be the stepmom. At best you will be "older sister" role in the family

Exactly, sad.

Many women that are desperate, in need or another income who won't admit it. I've known a few who claim to be financially independent until you see their bills, lol.

The only attraction to a guy like OP from a younger woman is $$. And they will pretend to like your kids until they can't pretend.

I think I went on a date with this guy. Middle aged guy with two kids who is interested only in younger, childless women who are happy to just raise his kids. That was quite an interesting night.