Has the OP left her husband yet?

Anonymous wrote:OP I will tell you this. I had a DH who cheated for years and I didn't know. One friend told me about one affair and I was completely devastated. Another told me about the others once we had split up. I was devastated again and it completely crushed my confidence in myself for YEARS.

I didn't need to know about all the details, I didn't benefit at all.

Please do not send a letter to this poor man.

I’m sorry that this impacted you this way. You internalized his cheating and made it about yourself what you might be lacking versus what he is lacking. What you need to know is that his cheating is not a reflection of you. You are worthy. He married you, didn’t he? It is a weakness in him. So you should not beat yourself up and feel devastated and lose confidence.

If I was the spouse of a cheater, I would want to know so I could take the steps necessary to protect myself.

Call him. It’s the only way you can be 100% sure he gets the message and she doesn’t intercept it or the email goes to junk mail, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little torn on this one bc the AP and her spouse are getting divorced, anyway, and I understand the perspective of wishing I didn't know.

No. Story goes the AP is not. She envisions once her kids are in college--at least that is the story she tells her APs. No idea if she would ever go through with it. Likes the lifestyle her DH supplies and she doesn't have to work. She will be in her mid 50s in 4 years so reeling in desirable men willing to support her is going to be an uphill battle. She will most likely continue with affairs with Internet men.

Gross - what a loser. Still, I don't know if I would take it upon myself to get involved in their relationship.

An old whore at 50. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little torn on this one bc the AP and her spouse are getting divorced, anyway, and I understand the perspective of wishing I didn't know.

No. Story goes the AP is not. She envisions once her kids are in college--at least that is the story she tells her APs. No idea if she would ever go through with it. Likes the lifestyle her DH supplies and she doesn't have to work. She will be in her mid 50s in 4 years so reeling in desirable men willing to support her is going to be an uphill battle. She will most likely continue with affairs with Internet men.

Gross - what a loser. Still, I don't know if I would take it upon myself to get involved in their relationship.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little torn on this one bc the AP and her spouse are getting divorced, anyway, and I understand the perspective of wishing I didn't know.

If there was a divorce--I DEFINITELY would want to know. It's probably the major reason she is asking for a divorce. Also, how does that get him the proper STI/STD testing??

He might feel guilty and give her undue support if he doesn't know about affair because I am sure somebody this manipulative, years of Ashley Madison affairs, is going to make him think everything in the marriage was his fault.

Plus, if she were doing things to jeopardize he kids' and his safety---going to hotels during Covid or meeting up with strangers during this pandemic---it's another layer of endangerment.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little torn on this one bc the AP and her spouse are getting divorced, anyway, and I understand the perspective of wishing I didn't know.

No. Story goes the AP is not. She envisions once her kids are in college--at least that is the story she tells her APs. No idea if she would ever go through with it. Likes the lifestyle her DH supplies and she doesn't have to work. She will be in her mid 50s in 4 years so reeling in desirable men willing to support her is going to be an uphill battle. She will most likely continue with affairs with Internet men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you do it anonymously?

That’s my plan. My name and cheaters name are not being used, nor is anything traceable.

How are you doing this? I need to do the same thing.

I'm a little torn on this one bc the AP and her spouse are getting divorced, anyway, and I understand the perspective of wishing I didn't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do it out of spite!! F*ck that Ho!

She deserves everything OP dishes out. She knowingly did something that caused a great deal of pain to a woman who never did anything to hurt her.

Both parties are to blame. Spouse and AP. They should both be dealt with for their selfish nastiness.

Agree.

Treating others so shitty comes with consequences.

You want to play with others lives? You have to be willingly to suffer those consequences.

I hope it was worth it.

If more people lived by this code the world would be a much better place.

Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.

I don't think anyone would wish to be cheated on in a marriage. Don't put that hurt and trauma on anyone else. Whether you are the spouse or the person spouse is cheating with.

Treat people sh*tty and life has things in store for you...

Is this the one that lasted 4 years?? Omg. You have to tell him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do it out of spite!! F*ck that Ho!

She deserves everything OP dishes out. She knowingly did something that caused a great deal of pain to a woman who never did anything to hurt her.

Both parties are to blame. Spouse and AP. They should both be dealt with for their selfish nastiness.

Agree.

Treating others so shitty comes with consequences.

You want to play with others lives? You have to be willingly to suffer those consequences.

I hope it was worth it.

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend told the cheating ho's husband. They ultimately had several good phone conversation as the husband had questions.

Collaboration helps. And two sets of eyes does as well.

No. Most relationships do not have a DADT policy. You are an idiot.

I don’t know any relative or friend with that arrangement. And, no they aren’t hiding it. People I am close with believe in fidelity.

Anyone in DADT is a complete moron risking serious health issues and future alienation when partner impregnates or falls in love outside the relationship.

This is almost always the cause of divorces once kids hit college age.

OP- said it was definite not a DADT and both cheaters were terrified of getting caught.

My girlfriend told the cheating ho's husband. They ultimately had several good phone conversation as the husband had questions.