Anonymous wrote:Poster: I made a certain choice and am happy with it. I understand why others made a different choice, but to complain about the choice you made is frustrating. Especially if your kids miss out as a result.

Other posters: You want the choice you didn’t make! You do! Admit that you do!

Anonymous wrote:Poster: I made a certain choice and am happy with it. I understand why others made a different choice, but to complain about the choice you made is frustrating. Especially if your kids miss out as a result.

Other posters: You want the choice you didn’t make! You do! Admit that you do!

Anonymous wrote:Poster: I made a certain choice and am happy with it. I understand why others made a different choice, but to complain about the choice you made is frustrating. Especially if your kids miss out as a result.

Other posters: You want the choice you didn’t make! You do! Admit that you do!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No one said the children are neglected! There is some serious projection going on this thread. It is totally like the threads where stay at home moms are absolutely convinced that all working moms wish they could stay home and refuse to listen to anything otherwise.

Actually that’s exactly what OP said. That she feels sorry for the poor neglected children! But for whatever reason she’s only fixated on families with 3. That screams of insecurity/jealousy/regret on her part. Secure people don’t obsess about other people’s lives.

OP actually said 3+ kids, not just 3...it's in the title. And I'm not OP, nor do I actually agree with her. But I definitely disagree with people mischaracterizing things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No one said the children are neglected! There is some serious projection going on this thread. It is totally like the threads where stay at home moms are absolutely convinced that all working moms wish they could stay home and refuse to listen to anything otherwise.

Actually that’s exactly what OP said. That she feels sorry for the poor neglected children! But for whatever reason she’s only fixated on families with 3. That screams of insecurity/jealousy/regret on her part. Secure people don’t obsess about other people’s lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the parents of 3+ that I know are super organized and have their act together way more than the parents of 1 or 2! They are the ones volunteering on the PTA, taking other peoples’ kids to practice, and stepping up to coach. I don’t know how they do it, but they are amazing! I’m jealous!

I know both kinds with both amounts of kids. My SIL has four kids and is a total disaster. My friend has four kids and is the one who does everything you say above and more. I have friends with one or two kids in both of those groups as well. I don't think you can generalize what a person is like based on how many kids they have. I went to a private K-12 growing up and I'd say all of those families had their act together pretty much all the time. My friends ranged from only children to one of eight, so I don't categorize people based on the number of kids they have.

I agree with this, but this thread went off the rails because OP’s title DOES categorize based on number of kids, in a very offensive and untrue way. Also, pro tip for OP: don’t ever say you “feel sorry for” someone else’s kids. It will not go well, and is a poor example for your own children.

Not OP, but I sure do feel sorry for kids whose parents can't get the logistics of their family life together and therefore cause them to miss out on things. How does that set a poor example for anyone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No one said the children are neglected! There is some serious projection going on this thread. It is totally like the threads where stay at home moms are absolutely convinced that all working moms wish they could stay home and refuse to listen to anything otherwise.

Actually that’s exactly what OP said. That she feels sorry for the poor neglected children! But for whatever reason she’s only fixated on families with 3. That screams of insecurity/jealousy/regret on her part. Secure people don’t obsess about other people’s lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No one said the children are neglected! There is some serious projection going on this thread. It is totally like the threads where stay at home moms are absolutely convinced that all working moms wish they could stay home and refuse to listen to anything otherwise.

Actually that’s exactly what OP said. That she feels sorry for the poor neglected children! But for whatever reason she’s only fixated on families with 3. That screams of insecurity/jealousy/regret on her part. Secure people don’t obsess about other people’s lives.

Anonymous wrote: No one said the children are neglected! There is some serious projection going on this thread. It is totally like the threads where stay at home moms are absolutely convinced that all working moms wish they could stay home and refuse to listen to anything otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - LOL y'all are worked up! A few clarifications, from myself only (can't speak for others who share some of my perspectives).

- I have NOTHING against large families. I know plenty, and am close with many. My issue is with the ones who can't manage the logistics and therefore the kids suffer - missing birthday parties, missing swim practice and therefore getting timed out of meets, etc. The soccer thing was an example. Of course, there are smaller families who struggle with this stuff also. But the larger families I know often blame it on having so many kids.

- I got pregnant twice on the first try and strongly considered a third. Decided against it ultimately, for a myriad of reasons. But infertility and/or jealousy (I agree with others - why would anyone be jealous of something they CHOSE not to do and could have done?) weren't factors.

I initially posted this because I feel bad for the kids, who in at least a few families I know like this, are definitely missing out.

Are there other kids who miss out on things? Of course. Are there larger families who have it all together and kick ass? Of course. Not debating either of those.

Carry on!

Ah, but it is precisely the fact that you made the decision that makes you so desperate to convince yourself it was the right one. Women who, say, suffered from infertility don't have that burden. It was not meant to be and they move on without need to belittle the alternative they didn't choose. But you could do it and didn't and you constantly work (hard, it seems) to keep yourself happy with your own decision.

Uh, she sounds happy with that decision? You guys are SO defensive. OWN YOUR CHOICES - who cares what others think?

DP, but people who are truly happy with their decisions typically don't start and maintain long, vitriolic threads on anonymous internet pages. I cannot fathom feeling so angry about something that has nothing to do with me (and which reeks of clueless privilege) that I start a thread here and then keep coming back to fan the flames.

"But the children!!" I can think of children in way worse situations than what's being described here. Jesus.

Uh, so can everyone? You guys are making up situations that don't exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - LOL y'all are worked up! A few clarifications, from myself only (can't speak for others who share some of my perspectives).

- I have NOTHING against large families. I know plenty, and am close with many. My issue is with the ones who can't manage the logistics and therefore the kids suffer - missing birthday parties, missing swim practice and therefore getting timed out of meets, etc. The soccer thing was an example. Of course, there are smaller families who struggle with this stuff also. But the larger families I know often blame it on having so many kids.

- I got pregnant twice on the first try and strongly considered a third. Decided against it ultimately, for a myriad of reasons. But infertility and/or jealousy (I agree with others - why would anyone be jealous of something they CHOSE not to do and could have done?) weren't factors.

I initially posted this because I feel bad for the kids, who in at least a few families I know like this, are definitely missing out.

Are there other kids who miss out on things? Of course. Are there larger families who have it all together and kick ass? Of course. Not debating either of those.

Carry on!

Ah, but it is precisely the fact that you made the decision that makes you so desperate to convince yourself it was the right one. Women who, say, suffered from infertility don't have that burden. It was not meant to be and they move on without need to belittle the alternative they didn't choose. But you could do it and didn't and you constantly work (hard, it seems) to keep yourself happy with your own decision.

Uh, she sounds happy with that decision? You guys are SO defensive. OWN YOUR CHOICES - who cares what others think?

DP, but people who are truly happy with their decisions typically don't start and maintain long, vitriolic threads on anonymous internet pages. I cannot fathom feeling so angry about something that has nothing to do with me (and which reeks of clueless privilege) that I start a thread here and then keep coming back to fan the flames.

"But the children!!" I can think of children in way worse situations than what's being described here. Jesus.