Anonymous wrote:My friend who makes the same as me is pregnant and just signed a daycare for $550 a week. Mine is $300. I just don’t get how people don’t realize when you make your fixed expenses so high you’ll always be stressed for money. She’s always broke.

Daycare is not the place to cheap out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay for your own graduate education, live further out and commute, send kids to public school, don’t eat at restaurants, have fewer kids...there are many ways to live within your means and save. Most don't.

Many can’t live within their means because their income doesn’t cover basics. I have posted before about how my cousin and I both grew up poor, she worked hard and did everything “right” (including not having any kids) and she is still poor. Not DCUM poor, but federal government poor. She’s stuck in a city with few prospects and can’t save up enough to move somewhere that does. I made a fair number of “errors” and ended up in the middle class after marrying a man with family money and moving to a city with economic opportunities.

I wish there was a relocation option type federal loan that would allow people 18-35 to borrow $5-10k to move to certain areas desperate for young workers and families. They could start repaying it after a year. Maybe with some forgiveness if they remain employed in that area for three years.

If your income does not cover the basics, then you need to move the level of basics. If you are living paycheck to paycheck and cannot save, then you are living beyond your means. Unfortunately not every federal civil service income can make all of the choices. If you can barely cover your mortgage, utilities, food, car, gas, etc, then you either need to find a way to increase your income, such as taking a second job, or decrease your expenses, like selling your home and moving to a cheaper house (either smaller or farther out, or sacrifice better schools for weaker schools, etc) or perhaps cutting back from one car to two cars. Even if the car you get rid of is old and paid off, you can still decrease your expenses by decreasing the insurance you pay on the car.

I know a number of civil servants who moonlight on the side. In most agencies, as long as the second job you take is unrelated to what you do in your primary job, you can be approved for a second job. For example, I know a few people who moonlight at Target or drive for Uber. I know one guy who is a weekend doorman/watchman at an apartment building. I, myself, work as the equivalent of a referee in a sports league.

Yes, it isn't great having to work a side hustle, but you do what you have to do to make sure that you provide whatever financial security you can for your family. I would personally never be happy living completely paycheck to paycheck and not having any emergency fund at all. This is part of why I started with my side hustle years ago. Now, I enjoy it and enjoy the activity and appreciate that although it pays significantly less than my day job, the money it brings in goes right into an emergency fund that is there in case my family needs it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was unemployed I cut my expenses to around 900 bucks a month

This was in 2014

My budget was

500 for a room in a shared house
Food 225ish around 50 bucks a week at the grocery store
Car/Insurance/Gas 100 bucks a month
Cell Phone 50
Internet/Shared Utilities 75
Misc 100

Saving isn't hard it's about choices and discipline

Even on a very modest 45k income you can save over 1,500 a month like this

What’s your magic formula when you have kids, a modest mortgage, health insurance, student loans, etc?

I'd say that first, in taking on college loans....did you go to community college and then onto the cheapest state school you could find after that? If not, then your student loans were your first mistake. No one who cannot afford to pay their first two years of school in cash should be attending anywhere other than community college. Second, if daycare expenses are difficult, I personally would limit myself to one child. Third, for someone who cannot save, a mortgage isn't in the cards. It makes the most sense to rent the cheapest studio or one bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood over being stuck in even a modest mortgage.
I'm saying these things because this is literally what me and my husband did. We went to community colleges and cheap state schools, worked 20 hours a week in high school and then nearly full time while in college and paid our way through (along with some scholarship money). We didn't buy a home for a long time but rented in a crappy area--a 300 square foot apartment. We held off having children for a long time. This is how you do it.

So did your strategy of community college and the cheapest state school you could find land you a good job in your field? #justwondering

Anonymous wrote:I love how the main reason for poverty is "poor life choices." As if people of means don't make terrible choices. The difference is the results. Put trust-fund son into fancy rehab + get attorney if he gets caught overdosing vs. locked up for long sentence, with no rehab assistance. Or "get pregnant in high school = sneaky abortion (kids at my high school went to "europe" for a week, back in the day) vs. have kid in high school. Etc. etc. Everyone makes poor choices at some point - it's what support is already around them that makes for a very different result.

I knew growing up that my parent's lack of resources meant that I didn't have any margin for error. The fact that others did have a cushion didn't change that for me or give me an excuse to screw up. Also, I don't know anyone, no matter how wealthy, who consistently made bad choices who is successful (unless their last name is Kennedy). They may not be living on the streets, if their parents had enough money, but they are still living a marginal life, and many died young.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was unemployed I cut my expenses to around 900 bucks a month

This was in 2014

My budget was

500 for a room in a shared house
Food 225ish around 50 bucks a week at the grocery store
Car/Insurance/Gas 100 bucks a month
Cell Phone 50
Internet/Shared Utilities 75
Misc 100

Saving isn't hard it's about choices and discipline

Even on a very modest 45k income you can save over 1,500 a month like this

What’s your magic formula when you have kids, a modest mortgage, health insurance, student loans, etc?

I'd say that first, in taking on college loans....did you go to community college and then onto the cheapest state school you could find after that? If not, then your student loans were your first mistake. No one who cannot afford to pay their first two years of school in cash should be attending anywhere other than community college. Second, if daycare expenses are difficult, I personally would limit myself to one child. Third, for someone who cannot save, a mortgage isn't in the cards. It makes the most sense to rent the cheapest studio or one bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood over being stuck in even a modest mortgage.
I'm saying these things because this is literally what me and my husband did. We went to community colleges and cheap state schools, worked 20 hours a week in high school and then nearly full time while in college and paid our way through (along with some scholarship money). We didn't buy a home for a long time but rented in a crappy area--a 300 square foot apartment. We held off having children for a long time. This is how you do it.

This is the way to do it. I did something similar. Community college is awesome. If someone has the option of living at home, it isn't hard to work full time or nearly full time and go to school full time. I did it. And yes, anyone who can't save for a downpayment or who doesn't have family help should not be buying a home. Teeny, tiny apartments, second and even third jobs, eating at home, taking public transportation and delaying having children are all ways to save money. I have many friends who spaced their kids 5 years apart so that they were only having one in daycare at a time. My husband and I lived on 40K a year with two children (I was a sahm) in an apartment for a number of years. It was hard, but possible. We lived in a crap area so it was cheap.

Because they just don’t know what it means to be living close to the bone. Change (in income, among other things) simply takes time. Empathy is lacking in society. Nothing to be done.

Also stuff like Uber, StubHub and AirBnb are cash suckers

Baby boomers did not create them.

^ and in Vermont, you get $5k a year if you quality for the relocation program, to put towards relocation costs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay for your own graduate education, live further out and commute, send kids to public school, don’t eat at restaurants, have fewer kids...there are many ways to live within your means and save. Most don't.

Many can’t live within their means because their income doesn’t cover basics. I have posted before about how my cousin and I both grew up poor, she worked hard and did everything “right” (including not having any kids) and she is still poor. Not DCUM poor, but federal government poor. She’s stuck in a city with few prospects and can’t save up enough to move somewhere that does. I made a fair number of “errors” and ended up in the middle class after marrying a man with family money and moving to a city with economic opportunities.

I wish there was a relocation option type federal loan that would allow people 18-35 to borrow $5-10k to move to certain areas desperate for young workers and families. They could start repaying it after a year. Maybe with some forgiveness if they remain employed in that area for three years.

This is a very good idea.

Some states like Vermont and Maine already have this. In Maine, you can deduct your student loan payments from your state taxes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay for your own graduate education, live further out and commute, send kids to public school, don’t eat at restaurants, have fewer kids...there are many ways to live within your means and save. Most don't.

Many can’t live within their means because their income doesn’t cover basics. I have posted before about how my cousin and I both grew up poor, she worked hard and did everything “right” (including not having any kids) and she is still poor. Not DCUM poor, but federal government poor. She’s stuck in a city with few prospects and can’t save up enough to move somewhere that does. I made a fair number of “errors” and ended up in the middle class after marrying a man with family money and moving to a city with economic opportunities.

I wish there was a relocation option type federal loan that would allow people 18-35 to borrow $5-10k to move to certain areas desperate for young workers and families. They could start repaying it after a year. Maybe with some forgiveness if they remain employed in that area for three years.

This is a very good idea.

Anonymous wrote:When I was dead broke in my early 20s. I had no cable, internet, a 25 year old junk car able to register as "classic"
$29 a year car insurance I fixed my self junkyard parts.

Never ate out. No paying coffee free are work. Never joined gym. Lived at home or cheap roommate rentals 22-29.

If you have no monthly fixed costs and no discretionary spending you can save.

My vacation trip was my friends had jobs they traveled and went to LA, PR and Florida for price of flight mooched off their hotel company paid for.

Also knew every happy hour.

Kids today have dogs, new iPhones, go to Starbucks, rent their own apartments, belong to gyms, lease cars and wonder where money goes. They also have too much student loans. They could have lived at home during school and did community college years 1 and 2 and graduated debt free.

They also eat more expensive food. Pretty much whatever frozen food on sale with a coupon I bought. Buying fresh organic food at Whole Foods or Harris Teather is expensive

This plan assumes parent support for it. Most DCUMers turn up their noses at CC. They want to brag that Charlotte is going to a top tier university next year, not NOVA or MC.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay for your own graduate education, live further out and commute, send kids to public school, don’t eat at restaurants, have fewer kids...there are many ways to live within your means and save. Most don't.

Many can’t live within their means because their income doesn’t cover basics. I have posted before about how my cousin and I both grew up poor, she worked hard and did everything “right” (including not having any kids) and she is still poor. Not DCUM poor, but federal government poor. She’s stuck in a city with few prospects and can’t save up enough to move somewhere that does. I made a fair number of “errors” and ended up in the middle class after marrying a man with family money and moving to a city with economic opportunities.

I wish there was a relocation option type federal loan that would allow people 18-35 to borrow $5-10k to move to certain areas desperate for young workers and families. They could start repaying it after a year. Maybe with some forgiveness if they remain employed in that area for three years.

When I was dead broke in my early 20s. I had no cable, internet, a 25 year old junk car able to register as "classic"
$29 a year car insurance I fixed my self junkyard parts.

Never ate out. No paying coffee free are work. Never joined gym. Lived at home or cheap roommate rentals 22-29.

If you have no monthly fixed costs and no discretionary spending you can save.

My vacation trip was my friends had jobs they traveled and went to LA, PR and Florida for price of flight mooched off their hotel company paid for.

Also knew every happy hour.

Kids today have dogs, new iPhones, go to Starbucks, rent their own apartments, belong to gyms, lease cars and wonder where money goes. They also have too much student loans. They could have lived at home during school and did community college years 1 and 2 and graduated debt free.

They also eat more expensive food. Pretty much whatever frozen food on sale with a coupon I bought. Buying fresh organic food at Whole Foods or Harris Teather is expensive

Anonymous wrote:For me, I make $18/hr. thats about $2880/month (after taxes, it's more like $2500) if I work 40 hrs a week. I don't always get 40 hrs, so this is a rough estimate.

Rent: 1200
Food: 400
Utilities: $300
Phone: $100
Internet: $50
Car Insurance: $150
Health insurance: $200
Gas: $100

That comes out to about $2500.
No, I'm not going out to eat, getting fancy coffee, or getting my nails done. I'm paying bills. I don't feel poor... I feel comfortable but if there is any type of emergency, I'll be SOL.

I have a mint phone 150 per year. Mostly use wifi.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was unemployed I cut my expenses to around 900 bucks a month

This was in 2014

My budget was

500 for a room in a shared house
Food 225ish around 50 bucks a week at the grocery store
Car/Insurance/Gas 100 bucks a month
Cell Phone 50
Internet/Shared Utilities 75
Misc 100

Saving isn't hard it's about choices and discipline

Even on a very modest 45k income you can save over 1,500 a month like this

What’s your magic formula when you have kids, a modest mortgage, health insurance, student loans, etc?

I'd say that first, in taking on college loans....did you go to community college and then onto the cheapest state school you could find after that? If not, then your student loans were your first mistake. No one who cannot afford to pay their first two years of school in cash should be attending anywhere other than community college. Second, if daycare expenses are difficult, I personally would limit myself to one child. Third, for someone who cannot save, a mortgage isn't in the cards. It makes the most sense to rent the cheapest studio or one bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood over being stuck in even a modest mortgage.
I'm saying these things because this is literally what me and my husband did. We went to community colleges and cheap state schools, worked 20 hours a week in high school and then nearly full time while in college and paid our way through (along with some scholarship money). We didn't buy a home for a long time but rented in a crappy area--a 300 square foot apartment. We held off having children for a long time. This is how you do it.