Anonymous
11/21/2018 15:25
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
The last thing anyone should do is impose parenting on another person. It is the child who often pays the price for a romanticized or immature decision in this realm.
IF, for whatever reason, the person decides they are not ready to parent...that child would be better off with someone who --like adoptive parents--have been vetted with regard to everything from mental and physical health to financial stability. Adoptive parents have been screened in ways that biological parents are not. Many children would be better off if their birthmoms had opted for this brave choice.
IF, for whatever reason, the person decides they are not ready to parent...that child would be better off with someone who --like adoptive parents--have been vetted with regard to everything from mental and physical health to financial stability. Adoptive parents have been screened in ways that biological parents are not. Many children would be better off if their birthmoms had opted for this brave choice.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 14:48
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
DCUM has not seen any evidence that OP is a troll, and thinks this is not the right forum to have this food fight. Legally, abortion the girls call and the dad has rights if there is an adoption. If OP isn’t asking if her DD should tell the Father, leave her in peace. I’m sure this is hard enough on her as it is.
If you want a nasty food fight about mens rights and abortion and adoption, you can have it, beyond your wildest dream. Politics Forum is ————————>
Post the question and sit back and wait.
Dad knows and couldn’t care less what DD does.
-OP
Whoops, messed up that quote in a big way:
ou (your DD) need to get him to sign away his parental rights though. Have you talked to a lawyer? Because he could have a change of heart -- or his parents could decide that they want to raise their grandchild.
The legal risk here is very, very real. If you haven't done so, please consult with an adoption attorney (and I assume the adopting couple will have their own). You need to make sure the father won't turn around and decide to care at the last minute -- or, god forbid, when the adoptive couple has bonded with the baby and the biodad shows up.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 14:47
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
DCUM has not seen any evidence that OP is a troll, and thinks this is not the right forum to have this food fight. Legally, abortion the girls call and the dad has rights if there is an adoption. If OP isn’t asking if her DD should tell the Father, leave her in peace. I’m sure this is hard enough on her as it is.
If you want a nasty food fight about mens rights and abortion and adoption, you can have it, beyond your wildest dream. Politics Forum is ————————>
Post the question and sit back and wait.
Dad knows and couldn’t care less what DD does.
You (your DD) need to get him to sign away his parental rights though. Have you talked to a lawyer? Because he could have a change of heart -- or his parents could decide that they want to raise their grandchild.
The legal risk here is very, very real. If you haven't done so, please consult with an adoption attorney (and I assume the adopting couple will have their own). You need to make sure the father won't turn around and decide to care at the last minute -- or, god forbid, when the adoptive couple has bonded with the baby and the biodad show up.
-OP
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:50
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She will not abort. Right now she wants to do the fall semester and then reevaluate...I do worry about the idea she’ll take time off and then never go back...adoption is still on the table too though.
The father goes to a different school 1200 miles away (they met at an internship) and they were never together.
I got pregnant at 20. I love my 11 year old but there’s times where I wish I had aborted and settled years later. Your daughter doesn’t want to do this now.
What mother thinks this way? I can see wishing you hadn't gotten pregnant so young or thinking you should have put her up for adoption. But you really sometimes wish you had taken her life?
She's being honest. All the pretty stories in this thread make me mad. Single parenting is hard on everyone. The girls I knew didn't get married and didn't finish college. They suffered, along w their parents and the children. Don't do it.
+1. I love my now teenage younger DC so unbelievably much. She was a second child wand was very wanted and planned for. And yet... I had unbelievably severe PPD that seemed to come out of nowhere and was very treatment resistant. Absolutely out of control and soul sucking— and shocking after zero problems with Kid 1. I ended up trying to kill myself when she was 2, because I was convinced she deserved better than me, and would be better off if I died before she could remember me. No one IRL knows, except DH and my doctors. I would never want her to find out and get Hirt.
The path back was unbelievably slow and painful, and was full of fits and starts. 12 years later, I have largely recovered, but I lost parts of myself that aren’t coming back. I cannot imgine a world without DD. It would certainly be blessing you to me the . And not just for me. But if it were 2003 again, and I were deciding whether to get pregnant— honestly, I don’t know what I would decide. It should be a no brainer yes. This is an objectively amazing kid. I am so lucky to have her. It should be a no brainer. AaBut I lost so much, suffered so much, gave up so much. It would be hard yo,sign up for that. A
Paarenting is not all unicorns and Hallmark moments, and my kid got pregnant, and married a great man, and hasd the baby who won a Nobel Prize winner and DD’s life is fabulous.
This is real life and parenting is tough. And if you can’t be honest anonymously, when cam you?
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:16
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.,
The judge is eager for your opinion on the matter (not).
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:14
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.,
You sound just charming.
Sarah (Palin)--hi!
Or is it Marilyn (Quayle)?
Hard to tell the lunatics apart.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:13
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
DCUM has not seen any evidence that OP is a troll, and thinks this is not the right forum to have this food fight. Legally, abortion the girls call and the dad has rights if there is an adoption. If OP isn’t asking if her DD should tell the Father, leave her in peace. I’m sure this is hard enough on her as it is.
If you want a nasty food fight about mens rights and abortion and adoption, you can have it, beyond your wildest dream. Politics Forum is ————————>
Post the question and sit back and wait.
Dad knows and couldn’t care less what DD does.
-OP
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:12
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
Both PPs are, I don't know, clueless?????
An adoption is a legal process, and fathers get to consent, or withhold consent, to relinquishing their parental rights--and the plotting implicit in the first PP is appalling.
They do NOT get to decide whether a pregnant woman has an abortion or goes through with the pregnancy--how could you not know that? Or is that a rhetorical question?
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:11
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
DCUM has not seen any evidence that OP is a troll, and thinks this is not the right forum to have this food fight. Legally, abortion the girls call and the dad has rights if there is an adoption. If OP isn’t asking if her DD should tell the Father, leave her in peace. I’m sure this is hard enough on her as it is.
If you want a nasty food fight about mens rights and abortion and adoption, you can have it, beyond your wildest dream. Politics Forum is ————————>
Post the question and sit back and wait.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:06
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Get therapy now. A lot of girls back out of adoption decision once child is born. Very understandable but not always for the best.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 01:01
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.,
You sound just charming.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 00:59
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She will not abort. Right now she wants to do the fall semester and then reevaluate...I do worry about the idea she’ll take time off and then never go back...adoption is still on the table too though.
The father goes to a different school 1200 miles away (they met at an internship) and they were never together.
I got pregnant at 20. I love my 11 year old but there’s times where I wish I had aborted and settled years later. Your daughter doesn’t want to do this now.
What mother thinks this way? I can see wishing you hadn't gotten pregnant so young or thinking you should have put her up for adoption. But you really sometimes wish you had taken her life?
She's being honest. All the pretty stories in this thread make me mad. Single parenting is hard on everyone. The girls I knew didn't get married and didn't finish college. They suffered, along w their parents and the children. Don't do it.
Anonymous
11/21/2018 00:16
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the father until next summer. Seriously, you don't need a custody battle during infancy and he can't provide child support yet and you don't want him to not complete college so he can provide support later.
What if the dad does not want the child? Does he have a say in this matter (abortion or not) or does DCUM think it's the girl's call?
Anonymous
11/20/2018 23:44
Subject: Re:Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this update. I remember this thread well. It sounds like she thought this through very responsibly and I wish her all the best. I remember thinking when I was her age some of the same things said in this thread, that it would ruin my life to have a baby, derail all my important plans, etc. I even remember kind of understanding when a college couple made the news by throwing away their newborn; after all, it was going to ruin their lives, right? With the benefit of much hindsight I can see that life is long, with many opportunities to start fresh.
Did the dad agree? If not, that’s really shady and karma will come back. Be careful.
Anonymous
11/20/2018 23:41
Subject: Anyone’s child get pregnant during college?
I would never let my child agree to adoption. He’ll to the no. If you go through wit, you keep it. Period.,