Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

OMG, so many of you are making my sides hurt.

If you are not the host of the Chirismas part, or the bride /groom at the wedding, you realize the show will go on without you, right?

No one needs tothank you for appearing at their Christmas party, or wedding. If you are an invited guest, it’s up to you to appear or not.

An especially good employer or family member may stroke your ego, if they think you’re a snowflake type, but the choice (do you get that,.. CHOICE?) is yours to start with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

LOL, yet another new poster here. Why would anyone say "sorry you're inconvenienced" in this scenario? You choosing to change your plans around to come to a flipping party is not me inconveniencing you. Do you get that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

Except no one expects you to change your plans so you can come to the Christmas party. You put that burden on yourself, you chose to take that action on your own, you did your own cost/benefit analysis, and that's the answer you came up with. So you'll get a, "Great! So glad you are able to come," but you won't get a thank you for changing your plans, because no one asked that of you or expected that from you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

True. And the appropriate response is, "thank you for changing your plans to o go out of town so you could come to our Christmas party. We are so glad to have you here." Not, "sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's. Not. About. You."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

NP. Sure, feel annoyed for all the good it will do you. And just remember that maybe your kid's friends' parents might FEEL ANNOYED if you don't invite each and every kid to the birthday party, or your friend might FEEL ANNOYED if you have your Christmas party on a date when you know she'll be out of town...that's life. Not everything works out the way you want it to, all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

Look. I didn't bring my kids. I hosted a party and paid for food and babysitting for all of the kids of invitees at my parents house (I lived about 200 miles away at the time). I didn't say anything to my brother or his wife. But I am not even allowed to FEEL a little annoyed about it?

Let me solve this for you. No one owes anyone an invitation. In one case, children were invited, and in the other, they weren’t. No one owes anyone an invitation to their wedding, blood or not.

No one is owed a response to an invitation either, in such case. You want a very specific wedding with very specific rules (to minimize your costs and simplify logistics), not a family and friends celebration. I don't want to even reply to your invitation. Take my no response as a no. I don't even know why you are inviting me.
My friend did special arrangements so people could bring kids (long Catholic wedding with two separate receptions). It was a lot of fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

This still doesn’t make your wish to disobey the wedding guidelines any more valid. It. Is. Not. About. You.

I get why weddings can make the bride nuts, but why do they make invitees nuts? It's a party for a few hours yet people demand that they or someone else be a part of the ceremony, bring their kids, their neighbor's kids they are watching that weekend, their pets, 4 plus ones, the dreadful aunt that no one has rightfully spoken to in years, the cousin in and out of jail and rehab who stole from you, your third husband's three adult children, their children and his grandmother.
It's pretty simple. If you don't like the terms of the invitation don't go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

Not to be cruel, but I imagine that trip could have been made at any time. It’s unfortunate when he passed, but that’s the nature of dealing with the aged. We traveled overseas last year to see Great Grandma, thinking it was the last time. We leave again in two weeks to see her again. This is life. The wedding and it’s lack of inviting children had nothing to do with it, but your grief is telling you it did.

I didn't mean to be so dramatic about this. It's not like my kids never met my grandpa. He came to visit my parents twice a year, and we usually went out when he was there once a year and flew out to visit him once a year.
I just meant that it seems odd that people would want to take their kids to a coworkers wedding where they likely know no one, but not be annoyed about not bring them to a family members wedding where the kids will likely know many of the guests very well.

I get you. Weddings used to be considered *family* events -- events for the whole family to spend together and reconnect, because that's what family is about, and people have limited time and resources to travel. It's frankly a loss to family to now structure weddings as "all about the couple" to the extent that some family members are excluded. I mean, yes, it's the couple's right to decide how they want to get married. But it's also a lost opportunity and lost tradition to strengthen family ties. I'm thankful for that all the nuttiness in my own family, at least weddings are still seen as for the whole family. So whatever, all you "but it's her SPECIAL DAY!!" folks. Sure, it's her party. But I wonder what you're losing by narrowing the focus even more sharply down to the individuals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

Not to be cruel, but I imagine that trip could have been made at any time. It’s unfortunate when he passed, but that’s the nature of dealing with the aged. We traveled overseas last year to see Great Grandma, thinking it was the last time. We leave again in two weeks to see her again. This is life. The wedding and it’s lack of inviting children had nothing to do with it, but your grief is telling you it did.

I didn't mean to be so dramatic about this. It's not like my kids never met my grandpa. He came to visit my parents twice a year, and we usually went out when he was there once a year and flew out to visit him once a year.
I just meant that it seems odd that people would want to take their kids to a coworkers wedding where they likely know no one, but not be annoyed about not bring them to a family members wedding where the kids will likely know many of the guests very well.

L t me solve this for you. No one owes anyone an invitation. In one case, children were invited, and in the other, they weren’t. No one owes anyone an invitation to their wedding, blood or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

Not to be cruel, but I imagine that trip could have been made at any time. It’s unfortunate when he passed, but that’s the nature of dealing with the aged. We traveled overseas last year to see Great Grandma, thinking it was the last time. We leave again in two weeks to see her again. This is life. The wedding and it’s lack of inviting children had nothing to do with it, but your grief is telling you it did.

I didn't mean to be so dramatic about this. It's not like my kids never met my grandpa. He came to visit my parents twice a year, and we usually went out when he was there once a year and flew out to visit him once a year.
I just meant that it seems odd that people would want to take their kids to a coworkers wedding where they likely know no one, but not be annoyed about not bring them to a family members wedding where the kids will likely know many of the guests very well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

Not to be cruel, but I imagine that trip could have been made at any time. It’s unfortunate when he passed, but that’s the nature of dealing with the aged. We traveled overseas last year to see Great Grandma, thinking it was the last time. We leave again in two weeks to see her again. This is life. The wedding and it’s lack of inviting children had nothing to do with it, but your grief is telling you it did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.

He died shortly between the wedding and when the trip was booked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.

Then book a trip to go see great grandpa, and let your daughter dance with him, if it’s so important to you to have that memory. It’s not up to someone else to make your dreams a reality.