Generally speaking, trying to claim me as your daughter, when you never acknowledge or ask about my side of the family at all.

You didn't raise me or sacrifice for me or love me unconditionally for decades. I am not and never will be your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got an anniversary card from my in-laws- to our son and "daughter". I guess that's an improvement over last year "to our son and his wife"... I assume they don't make a card "to our son and the *itch he chose to marry". Oh, I've been married 19 years...

I get those "daughter" cards too- and MIL made a point to say how she searches especially for them. ?

Not following. What's wrong with this?

Hahaha, I've literally gotten the same *exact* "daughter" card at least three years in a row. To the pp, I think it's the daughter in quotes that gets me. I should have saved them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got an anniversary card from my in-laws- to our son and "daughter". I guess that's an improvement over last year "to our son and his wife"... I assume they don't make a card "to our son and the *itch he chose to marry". Oh, I've been married 19 years...

I get those "daughter" cards too- and MIL made a point to say how she searches especially for them. ?

Not following. What's wrong with this?

Anonymous wrote:Just got an anniversary card from my in-laws- to our son and "daughter". I guess that's an improvement over last year "to our son and his wife"... I assume they don't make a card "to our son and the *itch he chose to marry". Oh, I've been married 19 years...

I get those "daughter" cards too- and MIL made a point to say how she searches especially for them. ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something she said, but something my MIL did that I'm just finding odd. I am 4 months pregnant, my husband is an only child and this will be her first (and only) grandchild and she's yet to either call/text/email me about the pregnancy. She and I aren't particularly close, but do reach out to each other on birthdays and when other big things happen (her companion went to hospital, so I called to check in, etc). Maybe protocol is that I should be reaching out to her as grandmother-to-be, but just struck me as odd never got even a text saying how thrilled she is at the news (which she is, according to my husband).

Same thing happened to me. My MIL didnt acknowledge the pregnancy until 6 months in when we all went to dinner together. I think she felt that she had no choice considering my protruding stomach...

Are they from a different culture? I had to teach my parents to acknowledge and congratulate pregnant women (for the superstitious reasons they felt it's most appropriate to do after birth).

Anonymous wrote:

"I've gained 15lb over the last few months. How many have you gained since you were pregnant?" Me: Actually, I've lost 10lb. "Oh that's wonderful! The doctor must be so happy!" (um, no, it was kind of a problem actually)

Not funny... but this made me laugh! LMAO!

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something she said, but something my MIL did that I'm just finding odd. I am 4 months pregnant, my husband is an only child and this will be her first (and only) grandchild and she's yet to either call/text/email me about the pregnancy. She and I aren't particularly close, but do reach out to each other on birthdays and when other big things happen (her companion went to hospital, so I called to check in, etc). Maybe protocol is that I should be reaching out to her as grandmother-to-be, but just struck me as odd never got even a text saying how thrilled she is at the news (which she is, according to my husband).

Same thing happened to me. My MIL didnt acknowledge the pregnancy until 6 months in when we all went to dinner together. I think she felt that she had no choice considering my protruding stomach...

Just got an anniversary card from my in-laws- to our son and "daughter". I guess that's an improvement over last year "to our son and his wife"... I assume they don't make a card "to our son and the *itch he chose to marry". Oh, I've been married 19 years...

Anonymous wrote:3-4 months post-partum, at a family event, she remarked that she had been worried last time she visited (a week or 2 post partum) b/c "you didn't look like you knew what you were doing."

She clearly still doesn't know what SHE'S doing!

3-4 months post-partum, at a family event, she remarked that she had been worried last time she visited (a week or 2 post partum) b/c "you didn't look like you knew what you were doing."

hahahaha.. where to begin.

To my 6yr old daughter, while I'm standing right there: "Don't worry honey, you'll be with grandpa and I all next weekend and mommy won't be around" -- as a means to comfort her when I said no more sweets.

During a rant she went on about how I don't spend enough time with her family: "You're one of us now, act like it!" (eg You're a Smith now, act like it!") My husband and I had been together for over a decade and married for 4 years or so.

"You are keeping me from my son and won't let him have a relationship with me" --umm yeah, right. I'm withholding his phone and never let him call you, whatever.

During my current pregnancy: "All 3 of us grandmas are expecting. So-and-so in September, then *us*, then so-and-so in December."
also...
"I've gained 15lb over the last few months. How many have you gained since you were pregnant?" Me: Actually, I've lost 10lb. "Oh that's wonderful! The doctor must be so happy!" (um, no, it was kind of a problem actually)

My MIL brings boxes of crap from goodwill when she visits, and mails boxes throughout the year. All kinds of used, dirty and broken junk and clothes (wrong sizes, holes, etc) It's nasty. They are financially well off (own their own business, have vacation homes, travel frequently, own 2 mercedes and 4-5 other cars, corvettes, etc) so I don't know why she does this. For other people, she will buy something new. For her grandchildren, she will not. We've tried asking that she stop, we've tried being polite saying it's unncecessary. She outright says no, that she'll do whatever she wants. When we throw the stuff out, and she doesn't see it around when she visits, she gets angry about it. Her husband (my FIL) gets mad if we say anything.. he says we are ungrateful, that we have to be nice, and that he'll make sure that she sends more if we give her "a hard time"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is skin and bones. And constantly talks about how thin she is, how little she eats, how she "eats like a bird." Good for you! Do you want a gold star?

Mine does this too! I am so tired of hearing how full she is after two bites, how everything is too sweet or too rich for her, or how much she loves whatever Dr Oz is peddling today for weight loss. She is frail to the point that DH and I worry she cannot safely watch our toddler like she wants to.

Mine here too--but then she insists on cooking for and serving everyone, and then is all pissy about it throughout the meal, bitches about how much FIL eats, etc. She can't eat anything, but boy, open a bottle of wine and she goes to town.

Oh yes...fattening foods are to be avoided and are much commented on when others eat them and are "being good." But two cocktails at 5, beer with lunch, wine with dinner? Noooooo problem.

Meant to say others eat them while she is being good and not eating them

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is skin and bones. And constantly talks about how thin she is, how little she eats, how she "eats like a bird." Good for you! Do you want a gold star?

Mine does this too! I am so tired of hearing how full she is after two bites, how everything is too sweet or too rich for her, or how much she loves whatever Dr Oz is peddling today for weight loss. She is frail to the point that DH and I worry she cannot safely watch our toddler like she wants to.

Mine here too--but then she insists on cooking for and serving everyone, and then is all pissy about it throughout the meal, bitches about how much FIL eats, etc. She can't eat anything, but boy, open a bottle of wine and she goes to town.

Oh yes...fattening foods are to be avoided and are much commented on when others eat them and are "being good." But two cocktails at 5, beer with lunch, wine with dinner? Noooooo problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is skin and bones. And constantly talks about how thin she is, how little she eats, how she "eats like a bird." Good for you! Do you want a gold star?

Mine does this too! I am so tired of hearing how full she is after two bites, how everything is too sweet or too rich for her, or how much she loves whatever Dr Oz is peddling today for weight loss. She is frail to the point that DH and I worry she cannot safely watch our toddler like she wants to.

Mine here too--but then she insists on cooking for and serving everyone, and then is all pissy about it throughout the meal, bitches about how much FIL eats, etc. She can't eat anything, but boy, open a bottle of wine and she goes to town.

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: Do any of the moms posting here worry that your son's future wife will dislike you as much as you dislike your husband's mother?

Nope, because I respect appropriate boundaries and I'd never say anything remotely close to the crap my MIL says to me on a regular basis.