Anonymous wrote:It's really really hard. But the good absolutely, without a doubt, outweighs the bad.

+1000

I'm always amazed on these threads the number of people who have child-free friends who live as if they are characters on Billions: flying around and dinners out all the time and shopping and flinging money around and wine country in the fall...it's like every single child-free person is living this superficial fantasy existence. Sorry but I don't know a single child-free person, including DH and me, who lives like that.

Our lives are just as everyday, and everyday content, as those with children, though for different reasons of course, and not having children doesn't = we're lost when things go wrong or have no one to turn to or don't really understand deep commitment or any of that nonsense.

It gives my life meaning and makes me feel deep contentment, despite the day to day craziness. I say this as a very ambitious career woman with multiple fancy degrees and jobs. It doesn’t replace or crowd out my other interests, rather being a mom adds to my life.

I also remember reading about a big study that found that childless people were happier than peers with young children, but less happy than those with older children. So, I guess you can look at the early years as an investment. Personally I love the early years (not so much pregnancy and the newborn phase) but to each his own!

Anonymous wrote:It's hard work but anything worth having in life is hard work.
All the parents I know, including myself, are happy. It's a wonderful experience.

+1

It’s hard work but it’s good hard work. I live my 3 year old, love spending time with him, and hope we can have another (I’m 39 so we’ll see).

yes.

It's hard work but anything worth having in life is hard work.
All the parents I know, including myself, are happy. It's a wonderful experience.

Yes and no. You're always busy, you're exhausted, but they really are the most gorgeous, brilliant little creatures (to you!). You get used to it, and it makes you stronger and more down to earth IMO.

Anonymous wrote:Having one isnt so hard most of the time. But then you realize how great kids are so you have. Then it's hard more of the time.

+1 Starts to suck more when you have 2+ going by all the threads about keeping house clean, travel, larger house, minivan, daycare costs, potty training etc the list is endless. Parenting works if you are a glass quarter full kind of person

Anonymous wrote:PP's are right when they say that it depends on you. If you are up for the joyride/roller coaster, not being in control, it is AMAZING and breathtakingly beautiful.

If you're planning to fit this person into what *you* feel like doing everyday, then well, parenting might not be for you, lol.

What exactly is breathtakingly beautiful about raising children? It's funny to read all sorts of myths parents tell themselves in the 21st Century. Read Zelizer's The Priceless Child.

I have always wanted to be a parent and have children. Two kids in, I still feel that way. I am not a big fan of the expectations surrounding being a “mommy,” and I am pretty baffled by a lot of the stuff people obsess over with kids. I often feel like I don’t really fit in as a parent but I hide those feelings and have plenty of parent friends. Still have lots of very close friends who are childless though. At the end of the day, being pregnant and newborn days were super hard for me, even harrowing at times, but that is a short interval and I knew I was not a baby person going in. For me, it’s about the whole family experience and being close and loving and enjoying life together. When I get wrapped up in the small stuff, I just try to remember that only the big picture...the relationships...matter.

Btw, I am a very anxious and high strung person but that doesn’t get transferred into my feelings about parenting...I am not an anxious parent. I was worried that would happen, but I am really laid back with my kids...we have a lot of structure and routine but I don’t obsess over their every move or worry about their futures or whatever. That has been a nice surprise.

PP's are right when they say that it depends on you. If you are up for the joyride/roller coaster, not being in control, it is AMAZING and breathtakingly beautiful.

If you're planning to fit this person into what *you* feel like doing everyday, then well, parenting might not be for you, lol.

It's a total time and money suck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people were honest about how bad it can be in the worst and even just regular-grade days, no one would have kids. But boy, they sure are cute and there is still so much love.

Yes. I had a worst-moment-of-my-life moment last week. Saddest day of my life, because of a choice my child made.

But this is what we live for. This is life. It's not all sunshine.

A lot of moments are really precious though. And I try to soak each one in and hold it in my heart.

Saddest day of your life? Did they rob a bank or something?

Holy crap.
All I’ve read on this site are
People who hate parenting. It’s so hard etc.
come on ladies. Doesn’t anyone
Really hate kids ?
They are horrible!
Loud mouth disgusting brats
With parents to coodle them

Please !

Anonymous wrote:If people were honest about how bad it can be in the worst and even just regular-grade days, no one would have kids. But boy, they sure are cute and there is still so much love.

Yes. I had a worst-moment-of-my-life moment last week. Saddest day of my life, because of a choice my child made.

But this is what we live for. This is life. It's not all sunshine.

A lot of moments are really precious though. And I try to soak each one in and hold it in my heart.