Anonymous wrote:Perhaps the op and other posts are confusing happiness with living graciously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's deeply socially ingrained. If you can't say something nice don't say anything. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Courtesy in general. Also, most of us lack the assumption that the world is out to get us, so there's less of a chip on the shoulder on a daily basis. I hear a lot of AAs complaining about being "disrespected". That's not really on my personal radar. I guess all this,could add up to seeming happy. Though my HHI is less than half OP's. I have serious problems and worries in my life. I just don't think it's appropriate to put it on others through rude behavior on my part.

Is the higher tendency of whites to commit suicide also socially ingrained? Also the weaker relationship bonds?

Not sure about suicide, but I think white people (at least WASP's) are socialized to be more formal and distant with one another. A big thing in our culture (I'm White) is "don't rely on others -- do it on your own." I think that's a real problem for a lot of white people. It makes us feel isolated and unhappy. Obviously this is a massive generalization but I think there's some truth to it.

Anonymous wrote:After this thread, I am staying away from all black people on the Metro. Not even looking at them. Don't want to appear to be doing anything to them, against them, be THINKING about doing anything to them, against them, nothing. Unless I am serving them tea on a silver platter, they will likely think that anything less is a personal affront.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's deeply socially ingrained. If you can't say something nice don't say anything. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Courtesy in general. Also, most of us lack the assumption that the world is out to get us, so there's less of a chip on the shoulder on a daily basis. I hear a lot of AAs complaining about being "disrespected". That's not really on my personal radar. I guess all this,could add up to seeming happy. Though my HHI is less than half OP's. I have serious problems and worries in my life. I just don't think it's appropriate to put it on others through rude behavior on my part.

Is the higher tendency of whites to commit suicide also socially ingrained? Also the weaker relationship bonds?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're biracial, right?

Those who report being two or more races have higher mental illness rates than monoracial people.

Oh, the eternal misuse of stats. First, those stats are far less than 100%, hence possess very little predictive power. Second, according to that chart, women in general should be really concerned about depression, more than bi-racial people. Except, wait, wasn't it men more prone to commit suicide?

OP, just enjoy that smoothie..

Could you clarify your point for me?

Not everyone who has a mental illness commits suicide. In fact, for me the chart provokes interesting questions wrt to race and gender. Men are less likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness, but they are much more likely to commit suicide. Perhaps that speaks to better coping mechanisms of women. Women are often expected to be everything to everyone- that can be very stressful- but because women are accustomed to this, they can handle that stress better. Maybe it's the same wrt race and white men's very high rates and black women's very low rates. An interesting instersectionality of race, gender, and privilege.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, please save us. Is this exchange helping answer your existential question

OP Here. Nope, this exchange about manners on the Metro is not helping to answer my question.

Perhaps I should have used a different example.

I actually listened to what some of the earlier posters wrote and when I went out during my lunch break today I attempted to put the 'fake it til I make it' advise into use. When I stood in line at Potbellys to get a mixed berry smoothie the white lady who wrung up my order was so cheerful. She smiled plenty, was upbeat while taking my order and even thanked me for ordering afterwards. No matter how hard I tried to muster up the energy to smile back and return the cheer I just couldn't. It was an Epic failure!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After this thread, I am staying away from all black people on the Metro. Not even looking at them. Don't want to appear to be doing anything to them, against them, be THINKING about doing anything to them, against them, nothing. Unless I am serving them tea on a silver platter, they will likely think that anything less is a personal affront.

Black man here. Black tea for me. No cream, no sugar. Thanks!

+1

(But how do I know it's you?)

I'll be the one that's smiling

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're biracial, right?

Those who report being two or more races have higher mental illness rates than monoracial people.

Oh, the eternal misuse of stats. First, those stats are far less than 100%, hence possess very little predictive power. Second, according to that chart, women in general should be really concerned about depression, more than bi-racial people. Except, wait, wasn't it men more prone to commit suicide?

OP, just enjoy that smoothie..

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're biracial, right?

Those who report being two or more races have higher mental illness rates than monoracial people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, please save us. Is this exchange helping answer your existential question

OP Here. Nope, this exchange about manners on the Metro is not helping to answer my question.

Perhaps I should have used a different example.

I actually listened to what some of the earlier posters wrote and when I went out during my lunch break today I attempted to put the 'fake it til I make it' advise into use. When I stood in line at Potbellys to get a mixed berry smoothie the white lady who wrung up my order was so cheerful. She smiled plenty, was upbeat while taking my order and even thanked me for ordering afterwards. No matter how hard I tried to muster up the energy to smile back and return the cheer I just couldn't. It was an Epic failure!

OK, "faking it" is not the right mindset...it is more about finding something to appreciate, to feel cheerful about. The smile then follows. In your own example, you were devoting your mental chatter to "I have to smile I have to smile I have to smile..." Next time, quiet down the chatter, and fully focus on the berry smoothie. Give it a good sip, enjoy it, and I guarantee you'll give a nice smile back to the waitress

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, please save us. Is this exchange helping answer your existential question

OP Here. Nope, this exchange about manners on the Metro is not helping to answer my question.

Perhaps I should have used a different example.

I actually listened to what some of the earlier posters wrote and when I went out during my lunch break today I attempted to put the 'fake it til I make it' advise into use. When I stood in line at Potbellys to get a mixed berry smoothie the white lady who wrung up my order was so cheerful. She smiled plenty, was upbeat while taking my order and even thanked me for ordering afterwards. No matter how hard I tried to muster up the energy to smile back and return the cheer I just couldn't. It was an Epic failure!