You girls have totally drifted from the ONLY important topic at DCUM.

Giving birth to a baby the natural way (with a Doula massaging your cl#$) is the only way to go if you want your child to get into the right schools.

The birth experience was a TRANSFORMATIVE one for me and I pity all of you who were unable to properly LOVE your child due to your selfish decision to make an alternative choice.

Those of you who claim you almost died in the OR were weak (or you'd never have been in the OP in the first place) and therefore, shouldn't be trusted to raise children at all.

Except, perhaps, in Rockville.

Now is the part of the email where I usually provide TMI about my birth experience, but I think I posted that yesterday.

After 25 years of marriage we are only having sex once every 15 minutes and we used to have it once every 10 minutes. Do you think we should swing?

Ok, so I know you guys are making such a big deal out of the Beauvoir thing through this tongue and cheek poke at the school, but what I really want to know is much more substantive & related to down-to-earth later-in-life successes of our children in a real save-the-world sense.

Namely, can a beginning education at Little Folks guarantee my little DS (born yesterday), once he makes partner at his scrupulous law firm representing Philip Morris, a spot at Congressional Country Club? (of course he would easily pay the initiation fee of over $100,000 (he has more than that now in his 401K) but I'm hoping he can bypass the pesky twelve year waiting list there by flashing his successive Little Folks/Beauvoir/Harvard/Old Boys Club ID's.)

I mean what I really wish for my son is for him to be truly wealthy, empty, soul-less, and committed to important causes like world hunger for wealth. I do not want him to pursue worthless things like happiness, small carbon footprints, community involvement, and social activism. If he does that, he could end up living in, of all places, Rockville, and sending his children to Public Schools. What is a concerned, DCUM-addicted, overly involved parent without any life to do?


Sincerely,

The Great Linguini (OK, an imposter)

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have any info on which mom-to-be group I should join so my kid will get into Intown so he will get into Little Folks so he will get into Beauvoir so he will get into St. Albans so he will get into Harvard? I'm not acually expecting yet, but just want to plan ahead.

I can only tell you the experience during my year. There were 14 moms in my moms-to-be-group (one of the 'Big 3'). Of those, 2 of them were not really pregnant, and thus never delivered a child. They were eventually escorted out of the mom-to-be-group.

Of the 12 remaining in my mom-to-be-group, 11 applied to Intown, and 7 were accepted. The other 4 I think went to Blue Igloo, which is a good safety.

Of the 7 who went on to Intown, I think one of them was a definite mismatch which everyone, including the teachers recognized from the start (wore I think Old Navy clothes, t-shirts, etc...I actually didn't really recognize where they were from!...but there were a LOT of issues...). So we had a final pool of 6 going forward to Little Folks.

I am sure you have seen the thread, "How to get your child into Little Folks" so I won't go through all that. You know (pre-WPSII, interview and talent portion with Gay and Joanie, etc) and my child (a boy) did fine. But I will say the MAJOR factor was Intown. They really pressed for my son, sent off great recommendations, pressured the staff mercilessly, and it totally paid off.

Anyway, onto Beauvoir, of our entire class of 14 kids at Little Folks, I think 15 went on to Beauvoir (I think they chemically bifurcated one child into two, so they would have more Little Folks alum). And of course, all of those 15 went on to the other cathedral schools, even the one kid who was a hermaphrodite and really couldn't be easily assigned to a single sex school (he/she ended up doing four through eight at STA and nine through twelve at NCS).

They're all going to be seniors this year, but we got our Harvard acceptances two years ago, which they do as a courtesy (they may actually send to them while they're at Beauvoir, as I think about it...).

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have any info on which mom-to-be group I should join so my kid will get into Intown so he will get into Little Folks so he will get into Beauvoir so he will get into St. Albans so he will get into Harvard? I'm not acually expecting yet, but just want to plan ahead.

This doesn't belong on the Farce page. This is deadly serious.

Does anyone have any info on which mom-to-be group I should join so my kid will get into Intown so he will get into Little Folks so he will get into Beauvoir so he will get into St. Albans so he will get into Harvard? I'm not acually expecting yet, but just want to plan ahead.

Anonymous wrote:7:20 pm. ? Friday night! Still lurking about this board engaging in juvenile antics engaging in public school humor? R-O-C-K-V-I-L-L-E. B-E-A-U-V-O-I-R. C-S-E-C-T-I-O-N. S-W-I-N-G-E-R. P-O-T. Did I make you laugh. Did I?

Go spend some time with your CHILDREN and then do your WIFELY DUTY, you immoral, godless creatures.

Harumph.

OMG. I am so done with the forum. I am so tired being judged.

Wow, looks like I missed a lot, while I was away for a few days to swim while pregnant with the dolphins.

Anonymous wrote:7:20 pm. ? Friday night! Still lurking about this board engaging in juvenile antics engaging in public school humor? R-O-C-K-V-I-L-L-E. B-E-A-U-V-O-I-R. C-S-E-C-T-I-O-N. S-W-I-N-G-E-R. P-O-T. Did I make you laugh. Did I?

Go spend some time with your CHILDREN and then do your WIFELY DUTY, you immoral, godless creatures.

Harumph.

I would spend time with my children but may nanny is running them around to "playdates" and classes.

Anonymous wrote:About once every six years, and only for procreation purposes.

But did you have "the big O?" Have you ever? Has anyone on here? How do I know what it feels like?

About once every six years, and only for procreation purposes.

Speaking of wifely duties, how often do you have sex with your partner? For us it's 3-4 times per day and I find it's not enough.

7:20 pm. ? Friday night! Still lurking about this board engaging in juvenile antics engaging in public school humor? R-O-C-K-V-I-L-L-E. B-E-A-U-V-O-I-R. C-S-E-C-T-I-O-N. S-W-I-N-G-E-R. P-O-T. Did I make you laugh. Did I?

Go spend some time with your CHILDREN and then do your WIFELY DUTY, you immoral, godless creatures.

Harumph.

Anyone know where I can get a BPA-FREE, organic, fair trade car seat?

Bump.