Anonymous
02/19/2026 04:49
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.
Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.
There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.
She may not have it….
Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.
Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.
You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.
Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.
Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.
Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.
Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?
The PP poster was not me
But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.
ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.
Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.
I’m relieved for the most part.
You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.
The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.
He’s going to put me on antibodies a few weeks before I give birth to be on the safe side. He asked for ex to come in with his paperwork to better assess.
Because the blood test is unreliable and I’m going based off what the doctor said, not my feelings? The blood tests aren’t 99% reliable for detection of the virus apparently. I like you, thought the same thing going into my appointment today.
“ 6
Herpes IgG Test: Purpose and What Results Mean
Herpes blood tests (IgG) are highly accurate for detecting HSV-2 (generally 95-99% sensitive), but they are less reliable for HSV-1 due to high population exposure. The tests detect antibodies, not the virus itself, often requiring 4–12 weeks post-exposure for accurate results. False positives can occur, especially with low-level HSV-2 results.”
So, just like my doctor said I can test positive for antibodies which doesn’t mean I have it. He will see me again in 2 weeks with my ex’s paperwork.
No he is not. Your Dr is NOT putting you on antibodies. This is serious stuff and you barely understood what he said to you which has me scared for you and if you are able to follow the doctor’s instructions.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 04:44
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.
Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.
There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.
She may not have it….
Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.
Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.
You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.
Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.
Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.
Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.
Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?
The PP poster was not me
But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.
ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.
Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.
I’m relieved for the most part.
I believe there are two tests he could have given. Pregnancy could contribute to a false positive on an igG test but then he could confirm with a western blot test? I’m not a doctor I’m just reading stuff online.
Would you know if your STBX had an outbreak? Seems to me he was hiding the peen from you for a while. Super sketch.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:12
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
Well actually he told him he was “exposed” which of course means the same thing but so many on this thread want to argue that it’s not. [/quote[b]
FALSE. A carrier can transmit heroes during the profile stage. The carrier doesn’t know they are about to have an outbreak unless they notice the tingling.
I guess you failed to pick up on my sarcasm. Of course I know they can transmit-that’s why I was saying it’s the same thing as being positive.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:11
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
Nope, approximately 67 to 70 % of the pop has HSV 1. It's still herpes, it's herpes simplex, and it can easily be genital. It could be what has happened here, but, truthfully, it doesn't matter.
Just so we are clear you are saying “nope” to a very searchable actual statistic for the percentage of HSV-2? Like because you don’t like it you are just going to say “nope”? I specifically said it was for HSV-2. And realistically, her husband wouldn’t be acting like this if it was HSV-1. Because yes we all know it’s common and nobody really cares as much about that. Nobody wants genital herpes. Sure, HSV-1 can be genital but it’s not as common.
If you had bothered to read above, when I gave that information, I was clearly talking about HSV-1, which you could have confirmed by googling, which I did before posting. Do better next time.
And I was clearly talking about HSV-2. which you said “nope” to the statistic for.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:06
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
Well actually he told him he was “exposed” which of course means the same thing but so many on this thread want to argue that it’s not.
I’ll try again. This is false because the carrier can unknowingly transmit during the prodome stage
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:04
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
Well actually he told him he was “exposed” which of course means the same thing but so many on this thread want to argue that it’s not. [/quote[b]
FALSE. A carrier can transmit heroes during the profile stage. The carrier doesn’t know they are about to have an outbreak unless they notice the tingling.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:02
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
Nope, approximately 67 to 70 % of the pop has HSV 1. It's still herpes, it's herpes simplex, and it can easily be genital. It could be what has happened here, but, truthfully, it doesn't matter.
Just so we are clear you are saying “nope” to a very searchable actual statistic for the percentage of HSV-2? Like because you don’t like it you are just going to say “nope”? I specifically said it was for HSV-2. And realistically, her husband wouldn’t be acting like this if it was HSV-1. Because yes we all know it’s common and nobody really cares as much about that. Nobody wants genital herpes. Sure, HSV-1 can be genital but it’s not as common.
If you had bothered to read above, when I gave that information, I was clearly talking about HSV-1, which you could have confirmed by googling, which I did before posting. Do better next time.
Anonymous
02/19/2026 00:02
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
The 16% is an *average* for all between 14 and 49. Lumping these age groups together hides the cross-section. The percent between 14-20 is close to zero. In your 20's, the fraction is also very low. Want to guess what this means for the percent of people in their 40's and 50's who are positive?
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:32
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
Well actually he told him he was “exposed” which of course means the same thing but so many on this thread want to argue that it’s not.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:22
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
You failed to indicate that anyone who has it can transmit while not having an active lesion. It’s called being in the “pro dome stage”.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:14
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
If you don’t think upwards of 29 million people in the United States is a lot I don’t know what to tell you. Those are confirmed cases by the way, so we know it’s much higher than that.
That's great - these folks can date themselves. The rest of us are out!
You probably have already slept with someone with herpes but good for you!
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:11
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
If you don’t think upwards of 29 million people in the United States is a lot I don’t know what to tell you. Those are confirmed cases by the way, so we know it’s much higher than that.
That's great - these folks can date themselves. The rest of us are out!
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:10
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
The last two pages are full of replies from multiple people stating how it’s not standard to test if you’re not showing signs of symptoms. It’s not a reliable test if you’re not showing symptoms because many people will test positive for antibodies - it’s not a reliable test for infection, exposure timeline, etc., only that you’ve simply been exposed, which most of the population has. We’re simply repeating the typical protocol from doctors and health organizations.
Why are you acting like testing positive for the antibodies doesn’t mean you have herpes? That’s literally what it means. Positive antibodies = you have herpes and must inform all partner you have.
Which OP now has to do. She was exposed the same way he was, and he didn't even know he was infected.
If a doctor says you don’t have it, what do you need to disclose?
The doctor didn’t see any sores. And a person who has genital herpes isn’t going to have sores unless they are having an outbreak. That’s why she should have had the blood test. And because of her fiance’s doctor supposedly telling him something similar is exactly why OP is in the position she is currently in.
No, his doctor told him he was positive. That is not the same thing.
You can have sex with someone with herpes, knowingly or unknowingly, and never get it because unless they’re having an outbreak there’s a very slim chance of getting it.
I feel like it’s akin to HPV (if doctor says that you don’t have it if you have no symptoms after having sex with someone who is positive) - you should probably just assume most people have it. You can have sex with someone with HPV and never get it. “ Disclosure of HPV (Human Papillomavirus) to sexual partners is a personal choice rather than a medical or legal mandate, as the virus is incredibly common”.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 23:02
Subject: I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.
But that’s not true
Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.
I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody
Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.
Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.
They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.
Because the OP said her doctor didn’t? Obviously her doctor isn’t a good one. They absolutely test you if you tell them you have it or might have it. Doctors want to protect the babies.
But yeah-who cares. It’s just herpes. It can actually kill babies but no really it’s fine. Some of you are really insane.
Also some of you need to look up what the word permanent means. Because you seem confused.
A very large percentage of the population has HSV1 and or 2. This is very common.
16.2% of the US population has HSV-2. I wouldn’t say that is a very large percentage. But I guess you took a different kind of statistics class where 16.2% means a very large percentage.
People with HSV2 LOVE to mix the stats on 2 with 1 to make it seem oh so common.
Lolol. 16% is a BIG percentage. I guess you may have taken a statistics class but you are still innumerate.
According to John’s Hopkins, “ In the United States, about 1 in every 6 people ages 14 to 49 have genital herpes.”
That’s a lot.
Which is about 16%. Changing it to a different way of stating the same thing doesn’t do anything. Sure, it’s “a lot” but it’s not a large percentage of the population. A large percentage of the population would have to be more than 50%.
Nope, approximately 67 to 70 % of the pop has HSV 1. It's still herpes, it's herpes simplex, and it can easily be genital. It could be what has happened here, but, truthfully, it doesn't matter.
Just so we are clear you are saying “nope” to a very searchable actual statistic for the percentage of HSV-2? Like because you don’t like it you are just going to say “nope”? I specifically said it was for HSV-2. And realistically, her husband wouldn’t be acting like this if it was HSV-1. Because yes we all know it’s common and nobody really cares as much about that. Nobody wants genital herpes. Sure, HSV-1 can be genital but it’s not as common.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 22:57
Subject: Re:I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.
Why are you pregnant by your lying divorced fiancé at 34 and not your honest, trustworthy, baggage free , and STI free husband?