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Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

Ding ding ding. On almost every campus, fraternity men and women have higher GPAs, greater campus involvement and better post-graduation outcome than GDIs. The people incessantly posting about Greek life being a fast lane to flunking out of school are likely just still bitter they never got a bid. And those who claim to have been in Greek life but now "see the light" either weren't in top houses (which tend to have the highest GPAs and occupy the loftiest campus leadership positions) or have turned on the system as adults because their kid didn't get a bid. Is Greek life perfect on every campus? No. Is it a huge net positive to the college experience? Absolutely.

They have high GPAs because they cheat. They have notes libraries and test banks. Give me a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

Ding ding ding. On almost every campus, fraternity men and women have higher GPAs, greater campus involvement and better post-graduation outcome than GDIs. The people incessantly posting about Greek life being a fast lane to flunking out of school are likely just still bitter they never got a bid. And those who claim to have been in Greek life but now "see the light" either weren't in top houses (which tend to have the highest GPAs and occupy the loftiest campus leadership positions) or have turned on the system as adults because their kid didn't get a bid. Is Greek life perfect on every campus? No. Is it a huge net positive to the college experience? Absolutely.

Anonymous wrote:"My advice: Get to know as many girls as you can across many different sororities and then rush as a sophomore."

I would ask around because it used to be easier to join as a junior than a sophomore. I can't remember why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Stop sororities and fraternities tend to have higher GPA than rest of schools. If you were a pattern you would have partied. I had plenty of wild non greek friends and they partied more than me.
Just not my thing to drink. Those kids didn’t want to have to go to meetings and do extra philanthropy and grade pressure. My guess is you would have done worse because that is how you rolled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

This is how I feel too. I did use it for leadership stuff, but also drank heavily Thursday-Saturday at a minimum. Have a kid at at T10 and she’s done more in her first semester it feels like than I did in 4 years. I went to a good school and I wasted a lot of it.

Anonymous wrote:Every time someone posts “sorry you didn't get a bid”, I want to get in a Time Machine and erase my past. I loved sorority life, it had good points, but was absolutely problematic. How is someone of an age to have a college age kid and still talk like that. Omg, I have such second embarrassment and the level of cringe is off the charts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

I think back and regret my Greek time. Yes, I had fun and made friends, but I wonder what I would have accomplished if I hadn't been focused on getting drunk at parties almost every night. My niece joined a sorority and promptly failed out of school. I won't be encouraging my kids to rush, I just think it is a fast ticket to wasting your time at college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

I have an almost identical story but my DD has her heart set on schools with big Greek systems and rushing so sometimes the kids don’t listen to their parents!

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Why is it harder at Indiana? I heard similar.

Too few spots for number of girls rushing.

Correction:
Too few spots in the specific house that silly 18-year-olds determine are the “cool” houses.
The literally set quota on the last night based on the number of girls still enrolled in recruitment divided by the number of chapters. But if every girl goes into recruitment thinking they’ll die if they aren’t a Kappa, then yes, some will be disappointed and will drop out.

It’s like claiming you didn’t go to college because there aren’t enough spots in the college freshmen classes. Ummmmm no. You didn’t go to Harvard or Stanford or Yale maybe….and possibly the state flagship didn’t have a spot for you either so you decided not to go to college. But you could have gone to a regional university or community college. You just didn’t want to.

The fact is that there are not too few spots for number of girls rushing. There are just too few spots for everyone rushing to be able to join the one or two houses they all wanted.

This is absolutely the truth and people don’t seem to understand. At most schools, they literally guarantee a kid a bid and if more girls stay through all phases each house will have a higher quota and be able to offer more bids. But instead, they drop whenever they are dropped by the house they thought they deserved and cry to their mom about how it’s so unfair. Literally if girls would just stay in and maximize their options, they’d find a place and no it may not be in the “least desirable” house. My dd had a rough rush and it was over zoom which really sucked. She didn’t realize that she needed to wow them, she thought she was learning about the chaprters. She got dropped by almost all the chapters she wanted after the round robins. Turns out that the one she really liked from day one kept her and that’s where she is now, and loves. It is not a “top” house and it’s not one she’d ever heard of before either. She decided to play it out and see what happens and it worked out. Yeah it wasn’t fun getting cut but guess what, you don’t get everything you want in life but if you learn from the experience and keep at it, it will work out well.

Correction: at most schools they guarantee you will at least be used to fill the house that they are desperately trying to save. You will just have to pay the fee and go through the emotional hellscape of rush and making fake “preference lists” before it happens. The schools need to fill all the houses for their own reasons.

True or false: plenty of girls who are kind, smart, pretty, and fun get cut from the top and even middle-tier sororities during rush.

Of course this is true. So what happens if a critical mass of these kind, smart, pretty, fun girls join the struggling house? Maybe now it's a more desirable landing place for others?

A critical mass doesn’t join, though, so that doesn’t happen.

Agree with pp, it should be a random lottery and we should stop welcoming young women to college with a profit-driven, emotionally abusive roller coaster masquerading as “fun”.

Not the college's fault.

It IS the college’s fault that despite an enormous increase in PNM, they don’t increase spots in any of the 12 established houses so that the one house that can’t grow on their own merits, might get more members.