Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

For white mothers.
Black mothers didn’t have that privilege

So now everything sucks for all mothers. Progress!

Please use adult language. Did you even graduate from high school?

And stop having children if you can't afford to raise them. Are you a teen mom? You sound like it.

Lol. You missed by a mile. Keep playing.

Nope. They are absolutely correct. DP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2021, I had two kids in childcare. $600 per week. Now I have one. $500 per week.

People will have to quit. My bet is that is the design of the thing. There are fewer childcare spots now. I would be bullish on an expanded child tax credit, but I bet it doesn’t happen, rhetoric about family values aside.

No one will quit. People were paying for this before 2020, they will pay for it again.

You don’t think some people will quit or move away over a 40% increase in childcare costs, a housing boom that has made living close to work increasingly expensive, and a general increase in life stress due to commuting?

Many fed employees are like GS9 level and living outside the beltway. Ever increasing daycare bills and commuting costs may very well cause them to decide this isn’t financially worth it anymore. But you don’t really care if they get pushed out of the workforce do you?

Federal jobs are in high demand. For the few who do quit (rather than just tantrum and threaten), they’ll be easily and expeditiously replaced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.

Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.

You all are just missing the point completely. You have been spoiled and frankly got a little lazy. Here's an idea: stop prioritizing giant houses and big yards. If lessening your commute time is so important, move close to your jobs. Bonus: it's better for the environment. These are ideas that those of us who raised children while working FT before the pandemic did. If we got through it, so can you. Just make better decisions.

Everyone, this woman is just angry because her adult kids finally told her they’re going no contact with her due to her general toxicity and hatefulness.

Give her space here to shout at clouds - she’s had a rough Thanksgiving.

😂 I think it is a fundamental misunderstanding that COVID altered the childcare landscape especially for school-aged care.

This -- if you raised kids or even before Covid you don't understand that parents with kids under age 10 don't have the same options anymore and have to deal with more instability in school schedules. Our school assumes weekday flexibility and availability in a way it never used to while also offering fewer after school programs. I'm on the PTA and we had to fight last year to get guaranteed childcare on Wednesday afternoons when our school does half days for PD -- this school year is the first year that the school can guarantee childcare for anyone who wants it (and will pay for it) so that they can just pick their kids up at the normal time as opposed to 12:30pm. And even the limited number of spots available in previous years only started in 2022 -- there was nothing for parents in 2021. So if, like me, you have a 5th grader this year, you've spent the last four years with either no school at all (Covid Closure 2020-2021), school but no aftercare including on short school days (2021-2022), school and aftercare but limited by lottery with no guarantee you'll get a spot (2022-2024), or school an guaranteed childcare until 3:30 but still limited aftercare spots (2024).

And now my kid is finally old enough that I could just have her home while I WFH without needing childcare and there's renewed demand for RTO. We will make it work with after school activities she can walk to and coordinating with other parents but if she were 7 or 8 that wouldn't be an option -- I couldn't just have her walk the 3/4 of a mile to ballet and then walk to her friend's house from ballet until my DH or I can pick her up at 5:30 like I can now.

FCPS had half-day Mondays for decades, with zero "guaranteed free childcare".

The flexibility absolutely should be there, but arguing that it's "impossibly expensive" and the childcare landscape has changed so much since COVID and that pre-COVID people don't know what they're talking about is completely naïve and lame.

You are used to basically not paying for the child care, and now you just can't fathom doing the budgeting and scrimping -- that EVERYONE actually was doing literally the month before COVID. (it wasn't just decades or years and years before COVID).

+1. It’s been nice to save a sh*t ton of money on childcare and now that they may have to open their wallets and that it’s not as convenient to have to get kids to and from daycare/school care, there’s a million reasons why it’s “impossible”.

And yeah, participation in some after-school activities may not be able to happen. This isn’t new.

And yet none of you gleeful goons can actually articulate *the point* of blanket RTO policies. You’re just thrilled to see someone else *lose* something, as if that somehow helps you or society.

Louder for those in back. I don't understand this mentality. Are people pushing to have kids in crowded aftercare programs (that don't exist) for hours and hours... why? Because they feel guilty about what they did with their own kids? How can you not want better for kids? ALL kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.

Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.

You all are just missing the point completely. You have been spoiled and frankly got a little lazy. Here's an idea: stop prioritizing giant houses and big yards. If lessening your commute time is so important, move close to your jobs. Bonus: it's better for the environment. These are ideas that those of us who raised children while working FT before the pandemic did. If we got through it, so can you. Just make better decisions.

Everyone, this woman is just angry because her adult kids finally told her they’re going no contact with her due to her general toxicity and hatefulness.

Give her space here to shout at clouds - she’s had a rough Thanksgiving.

😂 I think it is a fundamental misunderstanding that COVID altered the childcare landscape especially for school-aged care.

This -- if you raised kids or even before Covid you don't understand that parents with kids under age 10 don't have the same options anymore and have to deal with more instability in school schedules. Our school assumes weekday flexibility and availability in a way it never used to while also offering fewer after school programs. I'm on the PTA and we had to fight last year to get guaranteed childcare on Wednesday afternoons when our school does half days for PD -- this school year is the first year that the school can guarantee childcare for anyone who wants it (and will pay for it) so that they can just pick their kids up at the normal time as opposed to 12:30pm. And even the limited number of spots available in previous years only started in 2022 -- there was nothing for parents in 2021. So if, like me, you have a 5th grader this year, you've spent the last four years with either no school at all (Covid Closure 2020-2021), school but no aftercare including on short school days (2021-2022), school and aftercare but limited by lottery with no guarantee you'll get a spot (2022-2024), or school an guaranteed childcare until 3:30 but still limited aftercare spots (2024).

And now my kid is finally old enough that I could just have her home while I WFH without needing childcare and there's renewed demand for RTO. We will make it work with after school activities she can walk to and coordinating with other parents but if she were 7 or 8 that wouldn't be an option -- I couldn't just have her walk the 3/4 of a mile to ballet and then walk to her friend's house from ballet until my DH or I can pick her up at 5:30 like I can now.

FCPS had half-day Mondays for decades, with zero "guaranteed free childcare".

The flexibility absolutely should be there, but arguing that it's "impossibly expensive" and the childcare landscape has changed so much since COVID and that pre-COVID people don't know what they're talking about is completely naïve and lame.

You are used to basically not paying for the child care, and now you just can't fathom doing the budgeting and scrimping -- that EVERYONE actually was doing literally the month before COVID. (it wasn't just decades or years and years before COVID).

+1. It’s been nice to save a sh*t ton of money on childcare and now that they may have to open their wallets and that it’s not as convenient to have to get kids to and from daycare/school care, there’s a million reasons why it’s “impossible”.

And yeah, participation in some after-school activities may not be able to happen. This isn’t new.

And yet none of you gleeful goons can actually articulate *the point* of blanket RTO policies. You’re just thrilled to see someone else *lose* something, as if that somehow helps you or society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.

Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.

You all are just missing the point completely. You have been spoiled and frankly got a little lazy. Here's an idea: stop prioritizing giant houses and big yards. If lessening your commute time is so important, move close to your jobs. Bonus: it's better for the environment. These are ideas that those of us who raised children while working FT before the pandemic did. If we got through it, so can you. Just make better decisions.

This works. But what about when you have kids to educate, or you want to change jobs or you have a 2.75% mortgage rate?

Doesn’t it seem a better option for me to not have to move my laptop from office A to office B to use Microsoft Teams?

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a lack of childcare that’s the problem; it’s that these women want to have it both ways. They don’t want to pay anyone else to watch their children, they prefer to fleece their employers.

I agree- I was a working mom, I worked part time (30 hour weeks) and paid for before and after care. I lost thousands of dollars in income but I never lied about the hours I worked.

You do realize it’s possible to work 40 hours without before/after care and not lie?

Spouse A works 7-3:30
Spouse B works 9-5:30

Without commutes you have a parent to manage mornings and a parent to manage afternoons. And both parents home by dinner time. Just because you couldn’t personally manage 30 hours without extra childcare doesn’t mean other families cannot.

Loudoun county is 7:40-2:40. How could I make that end time work? My spouse and I do juggle kids but that end time just doesn’t work for working parents. If we could get it to 3:30 or 4pm I could easily pick up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.

Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.

You all are just missing the point completely. You have been spoiled and frankly got a little lazy. Here's an idea: stop prioritizing giant houses and big yards. If lessening your commute time is so important, move close to your jobs. Bonus: it's better for the environment. These are ideas that those of us who raised children while working FT before the pandemic did. If we got through it, so can you. Just make better decisions.

This works. But what about when you have kids to educate, or you want to change jobs or you have a 2.75% mortgage rate?

Doesn’t it seem a better option for me to not have to move my laptop from office A to office B to use Microsoft Teams?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are a lot of women employed FT in professional careers really saying they have no childcare? That's not what I've seen on DCUM. People are often talking about the extra time for commuting and difference of being out of the house. So like a 10yp may come home from school and not have childcare from 4-5pm because they can entertain themselves while parent works. But the parent may not want them actually alone in the house. It's a childcare gap. Same with the mornings before school opens - I would need beforecare to RTO and it might not be available this school year (already full). Or preschool may close at 5pm but with commute I'd get home later than that, etc.

WFH necessitates childcare if you have a real job but can be for fewer hours, or you cover the occasional days off and breaks without always taking PTO etc

This. If you work FT you either have childcare or older kids -- you aren't working with a toddler in the house. But childcare options are better and easier with RTO -- you can find childcare near your house without worrying about commute or getting stuck in traffic or on public transportation when you need to be picking up.

RTO is also a godsend when you have a sick kid or there's a random day off from school. A kid with a fever and a cough can just spend the day watching TV or in bed (rest is what they need anyway) -- you can get lots of work done while home with them. With RTO you will likely need to take the day off of work because it's near impossible to find last minute childcare for a sick child. And on random days off school our options are much better with WFH -- we've coordinated with friends to each take a portion of the day off with the kids so the kids are covered all day without anyone having to take a full day off. Sometimes the school has childcare options but it's not always all day.

If employers really want RTO then this is what they need to offer for parents to help:
- Onsite childcare for infants/toddlers
- Start/stop flexibility to accommodate drop-off and pick up
- WFH options for sick days and random off days from school

They don’t “need” to offer any of those things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2021, I had two kids in childcare. $600 per week. Now I have one. $500 per week.

People will have to quit. My bet is that is the design of the thing. There are fewer childcare spots now. I would be bullish on an expanded child tax credit, but I bet it doesn’t happen, rhetoric about family values aside.

No one will quit. People were paying for this before 2020, they will pay for it again.

You don’t think some people will quit or move away over a 40% increase in childcare costs, a housing boom that has made living close to work increasingly expensive, and a general increase in life stress due to commuting?

Many fed employees are like GS9 level and living outside the beltway. Ever increasing daycare bills and commuting costs may very well cause them to decide this isn’t financially worth it anymore. But you don’t really care if they get pushed out of the workforce do you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue for me is the 8-6 in office requirement. Right now, I work 8-5, pick up my kids, and then work a few more hours at home in the evening. Daycare closes at 6 and I have a 45 minute commute, so I'm not sure what I will go if the 8-6 requirement goes into effect.

Right. I think that is what the childcare threads are talking about. It’s not lack of childcare it’s the commutes along with the 8-6pm requirement. If before care and aftercare is from 7:30-6 and my commute is an hour it doesn’t work.

It works if there are TWO responsible parents. you stagger your days: DH does drop off and gets home later; DW does pickup and gets home earlier. When my kid was little and in daycare I left for work at 7:45, worked from 830-5, picked him up by 530, home by 6:15. DH dropped him off in the morning, got to the office later, and worked pretty late (maybe until 730 or so most nights).

Later on we got a part-time babysitter for after school so that made it even easier - we would stagger drop off at 8:30 and then the other just needed to be home around 6-630.

DP, but this sounds like a horrible way to live.

DH and I have both teleworked since well before COVID. Kids get off the bus at 4:10 so I work 7:30-4. DH handles mornings with them and then works 9-5ish. We don’t want our kids in childcare until 5:30 at night, that is way too long. How do they have any energy for extracurriculars after that? Or do they just not get to do them?

And one parent getting home at 6:30-7:30? That would never work for us. We are involved in coaching after school sports and days they don’t have sports they can be home to play with neighborhood kids. We don’t want our kids to have to be out of the house 9-10 hours per day for our jobs.

I get some people have no other options, but thankfully DH and I have advanced degrees and good career options. If I had to RTO full time then I’d quit and find something else. Also DH makes enough in the private sector to carry us for a while.

This was when my kid was little. it was fine. 4 year olds don’t need extracurriculars. many many families in our school did the same.

Not all of us have 4 year olds. Many of us have elementary/middle school kids who cannot get themselves to activities after school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a lack of childcare that’s the problem; it’s that these women want to have it both ways. They don’t want to pay anyone else to watch their children, they prefer to fleece their employers.

Yeah, that’s not it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

For white mothers.
Black mothers didn’t have that privilege

So now everything sucks for all mothers. Progress!

Please use adult language. Did you even graduate from high school?

And stop having children if you can't afford to raise them. Are you a teen mom? You sound like it.

Lol. You missed by a mile. Keep playing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will just have to do whatever they did before COVID.

A lot of before and after care programs closed. So that won’t be possible until programs scale up again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are a lot of women employed FT in professional careers really saying they have no childcare? That's not what I've seen on DCUM. People are often talking about the extra time for commuting and difference of being out of the house. So like a 10yp may come home from school and not have childcare from 4-5pm because they can entertain themselves while parent works. But the parent may not want them actually alone in the house. It's a childcare gap. Same with the mornings before school opens - I would need beforecare to RTO and it might not be available this school year (already full). Or preschool may close at 5pm but with commute I'd get home later than that, etc.

WFH necessitates childcare if you have a real job but can be for fewer hours, or you cover the occasional days off and breaks without always taking PTO etc

This. If you work FT you either have childcare or older kids -- you aren't working with a toddler in the house. But childcare options are better and easier with RTO -- you can find childcare near your house without worrying about commute or getting stuck in traffic or on public transportation when you need to be picking up.

RTO is also a godsend when you have a sick kid or there's a random day off from school. A kid with a fever and a cough can just spend the day watching TV or in bed (rest is what they need anyway) -- you can get lots of work done while home with them. With RTO you will likely need to take the day off of work because it's near impossible to find last minute childcare for a sick child. And on random days off school our options are much better with WFH -- we've coordinated with friends to each take a portion of the day off with the kids so the kids are covered all day without anyone having to take a full day off. Sometimes the school has childcare options but it's not always all day.

If employers really want RTO then this is what they need to offer for parents to help:
- Onsite childcare for infants/toddlers
- Start/stop flexibility to accommodate drop-off and pick up
- WFH options for sick days and random off days from school