Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had 2 recent graduates at a Big3. The school specifically tells the kids and parents not to discuss college applications with one another..My DC didn’t even know all the schools where her absolute best friend was applying behind one or two schools. DC didn’t known where any of her friends were EDing until a month or so after applications were due. I think if you understand the culture at these schools (discussing college lists is taboo, tacky and considered rude), you will better understand why these questions are really uncomfortable for kids.

My kids attend two different Big3 schools and both have been told not to talk about where they are applying with friends.

It's just the nature of the game in 2023. Pretty much all top 50 schools have acceptance rates under 10%, many under 5%. The kids getting into top schools are mostly hooked. The top academic kids sometimes have really mediocre outcomes. It's all very complex and sensitive.

Gone are the days where Jack who is top 10 in his class at STA can tell the tour group that he's applying to UVA, Georgetown, Vanderbilt and Brown because he knows he'll reliably get into ONE of them. When the final results come in it's quite possible that his best option will be Syracuse or Pitt.
The kids know how little is predictable and much it is not a meritocracy. This leads to a lot of anxiety and the schools try to tamp it down.

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Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

I don't understand your point...the information is NOT out there. Why should anyone attending a private school open house have to do anything except receive a one-sheet with the information. Look at what Harvard-Westlake has no problem providing in the above link...that is what people want.

https://www.stalbansschool.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculations
https://www.bullis.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.sidwell.edu/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.gds.org/academics/college-counseling/matriculation

What school are you particularly interested in? Name it and I'm sure people can find you the information.

This is useless and completely generic...exactly what I said. How is it at all helpful to know that yes at least one Sidwell kid in the last 4 years has matriculated at one of those schools. Parents want to know how many kids matriculated at those schools. Was there only 1 at Harvard, or 20? Did 20 Sidwell kids go to the University of Alabama or 1? Would definitely be nice to know how the class of 2022 fared on its own vs. the class of 2018.

Go look at the Harvard-Westlake data, that is what parents really want to know. If one of the most elite private schools in the US is willing to publish this data, no reason DMV schools wouldn't.

Anonymous wrote:I have had 2 recent graduates at a Big3. The school specifically tells the kids and parents not to discuss college applications with one another..My DC didn’t even know all the schools where her absolute best friend was applying behind one or two schools. DC didn’t known where any of her friends were EDing until a month or so after applications were due. I think if you understand the culture at these schools (discussing college lists is taboo, tacky and considered rude), you will better understand why these questions are really uncomfortable for kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

I don't understand your point...the information is NOT out there. Why should anyone attending a private school open house have to do anything except receive a one-sheet with the information. Look at what Harvard-Westlake has no problem providing in the above link...that is what people want.

https://www.stalbansschool.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculations
https://www.bullis.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.sidwell.edu/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.gds.org/academics/college-counseling/matriculation

What school are you particularly interested in? Name it and I'm sure people can find you the information.

Funny...your post completely agreed with me. Only Bullis published the data with any kind of detail to be useful. If all schools handed out that one-sheet, then OP's problem solved.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

I don't understand your point...the information is NOT out there. Why should anyone attending a private school open house have to do anything except receive a one-sheet with the information. Look at what Harvard-Westlake has no problem providing in the above link...that is what people want.

https://www.stalbansschool.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculations
https://www.bullis.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.sidwell.edu/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.gds.org/academics/college-counseling/matriculation

What school are you particularly interested in? Name it and I'm sure people can find you the information.

Anonymous wrote:Apologies for my naïveté. I am confused by this thread. Do kids now keep where they are applying a secret? When I was in high school, everyone talked very freely about where they were applying and it was a source of peer support. If it’s a secret now, what is the reason - it will give others the idea to apply there too and lead to competition for limited spots?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

I don't understand your point...the information is NOT out there. Why should anyone attending a private school open house have to do anything except receive a one-sheet with the information. Look at what Harvard-Westlake has no problem providing in the above link...that is what people want.

https://www.stalbansschool.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculations
https://www.bullis.org/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.sidwell.edu/academics/college-counseling/college-matriculation
https://www.gds.org/academics/college-counseling/matriculation

What school are you particularly interested in? Name it and I'm sure people can find you the information.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

I don't understand your point...the information is NOT out there. Why should anyone attending a private school open house have to do anything except receive a one-sheet with the information. Look at what Harvard-Westlake has no problem providing in the above link...that is what people want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

So you haven't actually looked. The information is out there. But now it's "in any detail to be of use" so the goal posts are shifting. What detail could the tour guide provide that make this a necessary question to ask?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.

I don’t know what to tell you…most schools don’t publish this list in any detail to be of use…at least they didn’t 3 years ago when going through the open house process.

I have only seen Bullis in the close-in DMV publish a list in the detail parents honestly want to see. I have seen postings for STA on DCUM from parents, but nothing officially from the school so no idea if it is accurate or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people on this board arguing it is a fair question, just ask the Admission Office where the student tour guides are applying to college instead of the children leading the tour. You think the question is fine, we don’t, so ask the adults if it’s so important to you. And then we will know exactly who to exclude. And if you are too scared to ask the admissions office because you realize what an a** you are being then you are a coward for asking it of the child leading your tour.

Actually we want to know how the students handle themselves, not the adults who are selling us something.

I was trying to think of a good adult equivalent of this tour guide situation feeling wise. The best I can think of in terms of comfort would be a stranger who is interviewing at your company/place of work asking you directly how much money you make and then asking follow-ups at a casual lunch you're assigned to do with them.

Nah, it's more like a stranger interviewing at a company and asking if there are progression opportunities amd what thay individuals' or similar path would be. Totally relevant.

Is it small talk or the most important question you have? You know the school publishes lists of where all the grads go right? The opportunities and paths are readily available if you ask. But its more about putting a kid on the hot seat to see if they can pass the test isn’t it?

I think this is a major part of the problem. Many schools actually don’t publish lists or they just list the schools where at least one member of last year’s or last 3 year’s graduating class is attending.

Just publish the complete facts. It is important to parents…indicate how many kids are attending which school, so you know if only 1 kid is attending Harvard and actually 30 are attending UMD or vice versa.

If they handed out this list then when any adult asked the tour guide, the guide could just point to the one-sheet and that would be it.

Many schools don't publish the list? Which ones? I haven't seen this issue. Heck even my public high school did this when I graduated. If you can't find the data, don't bother with the school. Quizzing the tour guide isn't going to answer the question anyway.